By Sienna Beck / New York City The red man lives in the Red House, and the orange man lives in the Orange House. The yellow man lives in the Yellow House, and the green man lives in the Green House. The blue man lives in the Blue House, and the purple man lives in the Purple House. The pink man lives in the Pink House, the black man lives in the Black House, the silver man in the Silver house, and the Gold man in the Gold house. But who lives in the White House? The President! HAHA! Come on, people. Some applause or chuckles would be nice… Just a little joke for Election Week! While we weren’t voting for president, it was still a BIG election for senators, governors, congressmen, representatives, and more. My family and I spent the weekend leading up to the Election in the most appropriate city: Washington D.C.! Let me start from the beginning: On Friday night, my family and I rode on an Amtrak to Washington, where we were staying with our cousins. Our first stop on Saturday was a White House tour! We took the Metro (Washington’s version of the subway) to the White House. We went through security and got sniffed by a guard dog. (He was sooooo cute! Also, he was part of the Secret Service!) Then we were allowed inside. I got to see the original presidential painting of George Washington. I also got to see the Red, Green and Blue rooms, and they lived up to their names (except for two red chairs in the green room). We saw a couple of other rooms, including the State Dining Room, where there was a huge table and a painting of Abraham Lincoln, the East Room, the Ballroom (which was gorgeous!), and then it was over. The West Wing was blocked off so I couldn’t see the Oval Office. I really wanted to see the Oval Office! On Sunday, we went to the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum. It was really cool! I got to see the original Neil Armstrong spacesuit. I also saw the evolution of spacesuits. I got to go inside a 747 plane cockpit (which also, it turns out, is the exact time I was born: 7:47 a.m on October 10, 2012). Plus, you could see a video and audio of Neil Armstrong’s rocket ship landing on the moon, and the famous picture of Earth (the view from the rocket ship circling the moon). After the Smithsonian, we got ice cream from a truck. Note to self: never get ice cream from a truck again! When we got home, we all felt a bit nauseous and tired. Our Sunday sleep started very shortly after. On our last morning in Washington, we started at the National Archives. We saw the original copies of the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights. We had seen replicas in Philadelphia a month earlier, and now we were seeing the originals! The National Archives had more than just that, though. There were more rooms! In one, I got to make a movie about D-Day, and it was shown on a big screen with MY NAME! After the Archives, we ate lunch and visited the U.S. Botanic Garden. We walked through a tropical room and a desert room, and watered some plants in the children’s garden. Our final official stop on our trip was a tour of the Capitol. We saw a hundred cool statues or more. Our tour guide was a nice man wearing a red uniform and a blue tie with white stars. I told him that I wanted to be President, and he was super supportive of me. We also saw the room where Rosa Parks and other people have been mourned, called the Rotunda. We also saw a combined room where, before separate rooms were added, both the House of Representatives and the Senate worked together. It got a bit noisy and was hard to get anything done, so we learned how they each got their own rooms. I’m pretty sure it was the Senate first and then the House. After the tour, Mama gave me a lesson on how laws get passed, and I played a game in the Exhibition Hall to try to get a law passed. It was cool! I learned how long and grueling it is to pass a law. It really helped me understand the importance of our elections a bit better, though, because I want more people who share my beliefs in office to pass more laws I like! On our way back to our cousins’ house, we passed the Supreme Court, where I ran up and down the big steps. I can’t wait until I’m 18 so I can make my vote count! (And 35 to be President!) Sienna Beck is a future author. She would like to become president when she is older. She lives in New York City (the best city in the world!) and spends her days ping-ponging between her two sisters, Willa and Olive.

A Poem by Dr. Barry Lubetkin / New York City The bus is big, passengers loud, unruly. You are the driver, you know the route, are dedicated to the destination, unchanged for centuries. A passenger shows you an old tattered map and cries out “This is the wrong road, exit!” You remain committed. Another screams “Why did I pay more than what was posted? Stop the bus!” You remain committed. Two men argue about the temperature. “It’s too damn hot! Let me out!” You remain committed. A woman yells, “This is not a real bus. Get me off this spaceship!” You remain committed. A hand grabs your shoulder. “You aren’t from around here, Where’s the regular driver?” You remain committed. “We took a vote” a big man with a knife says. “Turn around and go back!” You remain committed.

Your destination is beyond the next hill. You breathe deeply and announce “Folks, we are arriving at your village. We will resolve all of your issues soon” Then your heart pounds and your face flushes, your mouth forms a scream. The roadside sign is still wet from dripping paint: THE VILLAGE OF DEMOCRACY HAS CLOSED. PLEASE CALL 911 FOR FURTHER INFORMATION. Barry Lubetkin, Ph.D. is the co-director and co-founder of the Institute for Behavior Therapy in New York City. The Institute for Behavior Therapy is the oldest private cognitive behavior therapy center in the United States.

By Lydia Hope Wilen / New York City This week, the Powerball jackpot was a staggering $2.04 billion. My chance of winning was about 1 in 300 million. It’s more likely I could find a pearl in an oyster or be killed by a vending machine. The ironic thing is that the store where I buy Powerball tickets has vending machines. I’m wondering, did that double my chances of winning or of being killed? Sadly and thankfully, neither happened for me, but there is that one Californian in 300 million who did win the jackpot. Okay, so the odds of potential Powerball winning or losing can be calculated. What about things that happen in a magnificent and incredible way and all you can say is “What are the chances of that happening?” Definitely beyond coincidence. Too extraordinary to be synchronicity. Can it be the perfect alignment of the planets? I’ll give you an example of something from my life and see if you can calculate the chances of that happening. My father died suddenly and my mother moved in with my sister Joany and me that day, leaving their Brooklyn apartment. It took many months of Joany and me going to Brooklyn on weekends to clean out that third-floor walk-up apartment, while my mother settled into her new life in the city and adjusted to being without my father. Slowly but surely, little by little, we took care of things that needed changing, organizing and setting up. At some point down the rebuilding road, we got around to taking my mother to the neighborhood bank for her to transfer her East New York Savings Bank account in Brooklyn to an Apple Bank on the Upper West Side. The bank officer greeted us and brought over a couple of chairs so that all three of us could be seated at his desk. After we explained the reason for our visit, he handed our mother a form to fill out. Instead of just listing us as beneficiaries, he suggested that our mother should make it a joint account with both of us. In that way, instead of my mother having to go to the bank for whatever, one of us could save her the trip. My mom agreed and we, too, were handed forms to fill out. The form asked for our occupation. I was a production secretary and assistant to producer/director Frank Perry on his film, Last Summer. Knowing I wanted to be an actress, Frank was kind enough to give me a small part in the film. How small was the part? In show biz lingo, it’s called an under-five. Yes, less than five lines. In this case, it was four less than five lines. Remembering the famous Konstantin Stanislavski quote that I learned in an acting class, “There are no small parts, only small actors,” I proudly filled in “Actress” in the occupation space. The bank officer reviewed our filled-out forms and looked up when it came to mine. He asked if I was in anything he might have seen. I told him I had a very small part in a film that doesn’t seem to be around anymore. His eyes lit up when I mentioned the film. He said, "I knew you looked familiar." I told him, "No. I'm sure you don't remember me from the film…not unless I sat next to you and pointed me out.” He said, "I do remember you. You were a waitress and you asked the kids if they had identification. Then you rolled your eyes. I thought to myself, 'This actress has star quality.'" He excused himself and left to do banking business for the accounts. The second he walked away, my mother, sister and I were gobsmacked! He actually remembered my performance. I wore heavy makeup to look as though I had a summer suntan and I wore a short curly wig, unlike my long, straight hair. Hmmm. Maybe I do have star quality. I’ve got to call Frank and tell him to find a screenplay with a bigger part for me. While we were saying how unbelievable it was that he remembered my so-called performance, he came back. Holding the new bankbooks in his hand as a waitress would hold a pad to take an order, he said, “You boys got any identification?” And then he rolled his eyes exactly the way I did it after I delivered that exact line. Bank business was completed and he handed us our new bankbooks. We thanked him and as we were getting ready to leave, he said, "I must tell you the truth. I'm studying to be an opera singer and in order to afford lessons, I have a nighttime job as a projectionist at a Greenwich Village movie theater that brings back films from a couple of years ago. Last Summer is one of those films. The cue for me to change the reel is your line and the roll of your eyes. So every projectionist in the country, wherever the film played or plays, knows you.” Now that you know this story, what are the chances of me going to that bank, at that time, when that bank officer, a would-be opera singer, moonlighting as a projectionist at a movie theater that brings back past-their-prime films whose reel needs to be changed right after my line and eye roll? If you can figure that out, then please tell me the chances of the Democrats holding onto the Senate and the House of Representatives. The forecast Red Wave turned into the Red Trickle. Now all eyes are on Georgia's upcoming runoff. Will it be Walker, the Red Dread? Or will it be Warnock, the Blue Whew? And what are the chances? Before I entered into a long, joyful, fun-filled, adventurous and successful collaboration with my sister Joan, I had a career as an assistant to major forces in show business: Howard Gottfried (producer of Network), assistant to Billy Friedkin on preproduction of The Exorcist, assistant and production secretary to Frank Perry, and as assistant to Stanley Kubrick on preproduction of 2001: A Space Odyssey. My first unpaid writing job was comedy material for Jackie Mason. My first paid writing job was one-liners and questions and answers for daytime game show genius-creator and producer, Bob Stewart. In case you're wondering about my acting career, in addition to Last Summer, I had an under-five in Paddy Chayefsky's The Hospital and Network, and Frank Perry's Diary of a Mad Housewife. None of which was a career changer or a projectionist's reel changer.–L.W.

By Andy Borowitz November 10, 2022 PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—After laying the blame on his wife for recommending that he endorse Dr. Mehmet Oz for the United States Senate, Donald J. Trump explained his wife’s actions by revealing that she is attracted to men who are totally unfit to govern. “It’s a weird thing with her,” he said in a phone call to “Fox & Friends.” “If she sees some loser who is in no way qualified to hold office, she goes weak.” Further explaining his wife’s visceral attraction to obviously unfit candidates, Trump added, “It could be some clown on TV who’s never held office in his life, and she’s, like, ‘I’d go for him in a big way. In a big way.’ ” “If he’s been sued for fraud, that’s just icing on the cake,” he said. Responding to her husband’s revelations, Mrs. Trump issued the following statement: “I take full responsibility for my husband’s decision to back Dr. Oz. To atone for this terrible mistake, I must pay the ultimate price, and immediately get a divorce.” Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.

By Naomi Serviss / New York City My head’s been galloping into equine territory lately: The horse-carriage industry in particular. Why are these majestic animals still being abused to provide “romantic” clip-clops through Central Park via congested New York streets? Tourists tucked in with dodgy blankets reused (how many times?) to cover knees? We use cell phones and earbuds! We’re contemporary! Do we really need to smell horse shit in the putrid city summer? Ryder, the most recent casualty of the horse-carriage trade, dropped dead two months ago on a steaming August street. Emaciated, beaten, and nearly 30 years old, Ryder was a flesh and blood symbol of horrors that belie these “quaint” tourist spins. This horrific video of his death on August 10 caused a national and international uproar that’s gaining momentum. How cruelly ironic that Ryder’s death might finally crush the cruel world that killed him. Electric carriages would solve the problem, and employees would be offered training and a healthy salary, according to animal-rights groups. NYCLASS (New Yorkers for Clean, Livable and Safe Streets) is nonprofit animal rights organization founded in 2008 and run mostly by volunteers. NYCLASS and PETA are the main boosters of the legislation, which is also supported by celebrities and influencers. NYCLASS’s goal: passing legislation (Ryder’s Law Intro 573) that would end the inhumane New York industry. It would ban horse-driven carriages beginning on June 1, 2024. In an Insider interview on Oct. 28th, NYCLASS Executive Director Edita Birnkrant stressed the importance of being vigilant and directing public attention to the long game. “We have a lot of dedicated volunteers who will show up at City Hall with very little notice, said Birnkrant. “There’s a whole army of people who care. “We’re constantly documenting horses in traffic, We’re letting people know the reality. “The industry would have lied if the video [of Ryder collapsing] didn’t exist, said Birnkrant. “We’re up against people who will lie through their teeth. “They’re not supposed to be on the West Side Highway, yet people send us videos of carriages. “Right now, the city council we have is pro-animal and in the best position to pass the law.” That would benefit the workers as well, Birnkrant said. “No regard to anyone’s safety, the horse, drivers, pedestrians, cyclists,” she stressed. New York City Council Member Robert Holden, a Democrat from Queens, is sponsor of Ryder’s Law. According to Birnkrant, “We have a lot of bipartisan support: socialist, conservative, middle-of-the-road Democrats, the whole political spectrum from the get-go. “We’re gaining more support and I think more people will be signing after the midterm.” It’s not just the horses who will benefit, she argued. “This bill would lift up the workers. 
It’s cruel, unsafe–with horses crashing into traffic, dropping dead, it’s horrible. “This legislation will change how the industry operates, there will be better wages, actual employees, not contractors,” Birnkrant said. “They’re being misclassified, legislation would change that. Unfortunately, drivers are fighting it.” The midterms will (hopefully) trot Ryder’s Law closer to enactment with more pro-animal rights City Council members on board. So far, there are 18 co-sponsors on the city council. Twenty-six are needed for a majority vote. Council Member Holden has pledged to do everything possible to get it passed in the New York City Council. “New Yorkers support ending the horse carriage industry and transitioning into the humane alternative of electric carriages,” said Holden through his spokesman, Daniel Kurzyna. “The world watched as Ryder collapsed on a hot city street and later passed away due to the abuses at his owner’s hands. “It’s time for New York to be a leader in animal rights and labor and move this industry into the 21st century.” Naomi Serviss is a New York-based award-winning journalist whose work has been published in The New York Times, Newsday, The Philadelphia Inquirer, Highroads (AAA magazine), in-flight publications, spa and travel magazines and websites, including BroadwayWorld.com

By Jessie Seigel / Washington, D.C. Our country, already in the middle of an overheated, tumultuous set of midterm campaigns, was jolted at the end of last week by a shocking act of political violence. On Friday, Oct. 28, Paul Pelosi, husband of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, was viciously attacked in their San Francisco home by a MAGA fanatic. David DePape, 42,  broke in and confronted the 82-year-old Pelosi in his bed in the middle of the night, demanding: “Where is Nancy?” DePape’s plan, he later told San Francisco police, was to hold Nancy Pelosi hostage, interrogate her, and if he disliked the answers she gave him, to “kneecap” her, forcing her to be wheeled into the House by wheelchair as a lesson to others in Congress. When his plan did not pan out (Nancy was in D.C.), DePape fractured Paul Pelosi’s skull with a hammer and seriously injured  the latter’s right arm and hand. Pelosi has undergone surgery and, at this writing, is expected to recover. But, taking the damage a hammer to a skull can cause together with Paul Pelosi’s age, the degree of recovery he will achieve is uncertain. At the state level, DePape has been charged with attempted murder, residential burglary, assault with a deadly weapon, elder abuse, false imprisonment of an elder as well as threats to a public official and her family. If convicted, DePape will receive a sentence of from 13 years to life. At the federal level, DePape has been charged with attempted kidnapping, which carries a maximum of 20 years in prison, and with assault of an immediate family member of a U.S. official with the intent to retaliate against the official, carrying a 30-year maximum sentence. Some commentators have pointed to parts of DePape’s Internet posts as demonstrating his mental instability. But DePape will receive justice, one way or another, in a court of law, and I have no interest in wasting ink, so to speak, trying to address his state of mind or his sanity. He may be a mad monster, but it is his creators, the Republican Dr. Frankensteins, with whom we need to concern ourselves. The assault on Paul Pelosi was not only a calamity for the Pelosi family, but—given the upcoming midterm election—a watershed moment for the future of our country’s politics. We have a decision to make. Are we as a nation going to continue to countenance violence and intimidation as a means of determining our leaders? Or is the nation going to stand up, say “no more of this,” and defend democracy? The Right-Wing Does Its Thing Following the brutal attack on Mr. Pelosi, Democratic leaders are pleading—as they have done after past violent events—for a lowering of the dangerous rhetoric that led to this attack and will lead to others. What is the Republican response? Predictably, the right wing is playing the defamation and blame-the-victim game, reveling in their creation and dissemination of salacious, defamatory lies. They have been helped to spread these defamations by billionaire Elon Musk, the new owner of Twitter and self-styled “Chief Twit” —a perfect nickname for him, though one wonders whether he is acquainted with the word’s dictionary definition (a fool, idiot, half-wit, someone who chatters inanely). In response to a Hillary Clinton tweet calling out the Pelosi attack as having resulted from the fact “the Republican Party and its mouthpieces now regularly spread hate and deranged conspiracy theories,” Musk posted a link to the Santa Monica Observer, a right-wing website claiming that the assaulted Paul Pelosi was drunk and “in a dispute with a male prostitute.” The Chief Twit wrote, “There is a tiny possibility there might be more to this story than meets the eye.” (According to Media Bias/Fact Check and the Washington Post, the Santa Monica Observer is known for routinely publishing false and misleading information.) Musk later deleted the tweet—but not before it had 24,000 retweets and more than 100,000 likes. He never tried to undo the damage with a tweet officially taking it back or pointing out that the source was scurrilous. Georgia Republican Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s reaction to the attack on Paul Pelosi was to decry the silencing of Elon Musk. And on Monday, Greene defended the sexual conspiracy theories in the article Musk had originally posted. Donald Trump Jr. reposted a vulgar photo taken from a Twitter user, of a pair of Haines underwear and a hammer with the statement: “Got my Paul Pelosi Halloween costume ready.” He accompanied another photo, of a hammer in a holster, with the caption “open carry in San Francisco.” Arizona Republican state senator Wendy Rogers shared a false Amazon listing for a “Paul Pelosi Fake Novelty Item Headpiece.” Oddly, Reps. Paul Gosar (R. Ariz.), Lauren Boebert (R. Colo.), Jim Jordan (R. Ohio), and Josh Hawley (R. Mo.)—who loudly promoted the January 6 insurrection—appear to have been uncharacteristically silent. Five days after the attack on Paul Pelosi, former President Trump—the master at concocting conspiracy theories about others while simultaneously conducting conspiracies himself—finally joined the right-wing efforts to spread lies about the assault. On Tuesday’s Chris Stigall radio show in Philadelphia, Trump queried whether there was more to the story than law enforcement had presented. He said “The glass it seems was broken from the inside to the out so it wasn’t a break in, it was a a break out…The window was broken in and it was strange the cops were standing there practically from the moment it all took place.” (None of this is true). Trump also—in his usual fashion—protected himself with vague caveats, saying “I don’t know, you hear the same things I do.” In addition, picking up the innuendo Elon Musk’s tweet handed him, Trump recited without specification, “It’s a lot of bad stuff…The whole thing is crazy, and if there’s even a little bit of truth to what’s being said…” Republican Leadership—an Oxymoron? But what did the leaders of the supposed mainstream of the Republican party have to say? From them, we’ve gotten only a combination of silence, evasion, and the use of what-about-ism to deflect blame. Former Vice President Mike Pence wrote online, "There can be no tolerance for violence against public officials or their families." But he nevertheless continues to keep silent about the man—Donald Trump—who tried to kill him. From Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, we got "horrified and disgusted” by the assault on Pelosi, and "grateful to hear that Paul is on track to make a full recovery and that law enforcement including our stellar Capitol Police are on the case." But McConnell writes nothing about the political poison emanating from his party that caused this. And nothing telling his party to stop the incitement of violence. House Minority Leader McCarthy waited days to make much of a statement at all. And when he finally did, he said that “thankfully” Pelosi will be okay (there’s no certainty of that), called DePape a “deranged individual,” and said, “we’ve watched this with Lee Zeldin, we’ve watched this with Supreme Court Justices…You watch what happened to Steve Scalise and others. This has got to stop.” McCarthy mentioned only Republican politicians—a bid to pretend that Republicans are being threatened as much as Democrats. But Democratic politicians are not and have not been inciting attacks against their opponents. And when such attacks occur, they immediately come out against the violence. Republicans, on the other hand, stand silent and take no action while the Trumps, and Greene and the rest of their right-wing gang ignite violence against the opposition. A spokesman for a super PAC affiliated with McCarthy told the New York Times that it will not stop its attack ads against Nancy Pelosi, despite the assault. But why would one expect any better from McCarthy, the leader who elevated Marjorie Taylor Greene in his conference after she claimed Nancy Pelosi was “guilty of treason,” said, treason is “a crime punishable by death,” and liked a Facebook post advocating “a bullet to the head” for Pelosi? Heck—McCarthy himself joked publicly in August 2021—after the January 6 hunting of Speaker Pelosi—that it would “be hard not to hit” her with the speaker’s gavel if Republicans take control of the House in the 2022 midterm elections and he becomes Speaker. Texas Republican Senator Ted Cruz offered his usual phony prayers, adding “We can have our political differences, but violence is always wrong and unacceptable.” This, after his role in promoting the January 6 insurrection. Kentucky Republican Senator Rand Paul wrote, "No one deserves to be assaulted," but churlishly added, "Unlike Nancy Pelosi's daughter who celebrated my assault, I condemn this attack and wish Mr. Pelosi a speedy recovery." As noted in the Independent, the Kentucky senator couldn’t bring himself to condemn the assault on Paul Pelosi “without resorting to what-about-ism.” But the attack on Rand Paul in 2017 was by a neighbor over a land dispute. It was not politically motivated. The Democratic Party did not incite the attack. In another instance of “what-about-ism,” National Republican Congressional Committee Chair Tom Emmer (Republican Rep., Minn.), tried to deflect by dredging up the 2017 shooting of House Minority Whip Steve Scalise (Republican Rep., Louisiana) by a Bernie Sanders supporter. On “Face the Nation, Emmer said he never heard anyone “in the media trying to blame Democrats for what happened.” But neither Bernie Sanders nor any other Democratic politician had targeted or villainized Scalise. In addition, Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats immediately stood solidly with then-Republican Speaker of the House Paul Ryan and the GOP in condemning political violence. Indeed, Nancy immediately condemned the shooting as a “despicable and cowardly attack,” and said, “On days like today, there are no Democrats or Republicans, only Americans united in our hopes and prayers for the wounded.” On the other hand, only last week, Republican Congressional Committee chair Emmer posted a video of himself firing a gun at a shooting range with the hashtag #FirePelosi. Yet, he refused to acknowledge that his pun was not merely a smug joke but an incitement to fire at her. Republican National Committee chair Rona McDaniel whined on Fox News Sunday that it was “unfair” for Democrats to link Republicans’ inflammatory rhetoric to the attack on Paul Pelosi. McDaniel pulled out the usual dismissal of the perpetrator as just a “deranged individual,” complaining, “You can’t say people saying, ‘let’s fire Pelosi’ or ‘let’s take back the House’ is saying ‘go do violence.’ It’s just unfair. And I think we all need to recognize violence is up across the board.” When you’re shooting a rifle, however, while saying “Fire Pelosi,” as Tom Emmer did, you’re not just trying to put her out of a job. And McDaniel must know that her RNC and its candidates have been building to an active threat on Pelosi’s life for decades. In 2009, the RNC ran an advertisement presenting Nancy Pelosi’s face framed by the barrel of a gun with the sound of a bullet firing and red bleeding down the screen. In 2010, Pelosi’s opponent John Dennis ran an advertisement with an actor playing the Speaker conducting an animal sacrifice. And in February, Jim Lamon, a candidate in the Republican primary for the Senate in Arizona, ran an ad in which he shoots at a knife-wielding, mask-wearing, bug-eyed woman labeled “Pelosi Crazyface.” If RNC Chair Rona McDaniel doesn’t want the Republican Party to be held responsible for the violence it incites, she should get her party to stop inciting it. But the Republican Party will not do so. Whether its leaders engage in or promote the violence or stand silent while others do their dirty work, they want it to continue. It serves their interests. If they did want it to stop, they would act to combat it within their ranks rather than evading and making excuses. Pleading with them to show some decency is a fruitless endeavor. The most powerful way to stop them is at the ballot box on November 8. Political columnist Jessie Seigel had a long career as a government attorney in which she honed her analytic skills. She has also twice received an Artist’s Fellowship from the Washington, D.C. Commission on the Arts and Humanities for her fiction, and has been a finalist for a number of literary awards. In addition, Seigel is an associate editor at the Potomac Review, a reviewer for The Washington Independent Review of Books, and a dabbler in political cartoons at Daily Kos. Of this balance in her work between the analytic and the imaginative, Seigel jokes, “I guess my right and left brains are well-balanced.” More on and from Seigel can be found at The Adventurous Writer, https://www.jessieseigel.com.

By John Rolfe / Red Hook, N.Y. Malcolm Nance prides himself on being prescient. In his books The Plot to Destroy Democracy (2018) and The Plot to Betray America (2019), the veteran intelligence/counter-terrorism expert accurately mapped out the ongoing effort to turn the U.S.A. into an authoritarian state. His latest work, They Want to Kill Americans: The Militias, Terrorists and Deranged Ideology of the Trump Insurgency (2022), predicts an era of political violence that burst into full life on Jan. 6, 2021 and in which lone wolf attacks will be common. The Oct. 28 assault on Paul Pelosi by a hammer-wielding assailant is exactly the kind of thing that Nance foresees. According to police, the attacker, David DePape, was motivated by the conspiracy theory movement QAnon to punish House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and her fellow Democrats, whom he accuses of unspecified lies. Obviously unhinged, DePape brings to mind others like him who have made news in recent years: Ricky Schiffer, who was killed in a gunfight in August after trying to invade the FBI field headquarters in Cincinnati because he was enraged by the raid on Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago palace. Nicholas John Roske, who was arrested in June with a pistol, ammunition and burglary tools, for threatening to kill Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh. Cesar Sayoc, the Florida man who was sentenced to 20 years in prison after mailing bombs to high-profile critics of Trump such as Joe Biden, Barack Obama, Kamala Harris and Hillary Clinton in 2018. James T. Hodgkinson, the gunman who opened fire at a ballfield in Alexandria, Va. in 2017, wounding Republican House Majority Whip Steve Scalise and three aides from his party. Actions by organized militia groups like invading Michigan’s capitol in 2020 and the plot to kidnap Democratic Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer will continue, but Nance foresees individuals like DePape, Schiffer, Sayoc, Roske and Hodgkinson playing major roles by committing sniper attacks, kidnappings, bombings and hit and run assaults on political figures and citizens. These men are the political terrorist heirs of Oklahoma City bombers Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols, who took the lives of 168 people in April 1995. Infamously used by al-Qaeda and ISIS, the lone wolf strategy enables followers of a movement to take their orders from general messages issued by party leaders such as Trump, mouthpieces like Steve Bannon and Alex Jones, and militia leaders, and act on their own. They don’t have to be formal members of anything. The only need to identify with a cause in order to contribute to it, and they aren’t a risk to bring down a group’s hierarchy if they are arrested. Stopping all these random individuals becomes a game of whack-a-mole. There’s a special cruelty to that mindset, one that is being actively stoked by the GOP establishment and right-wing media. You can see it in the gleeful reactions of crowds when Trump threatens journalists with prison rape if they don’t reveal their sources Likewise when Lindsay Graham jokes about how thousands of people will leap to their death off the Golden Gate Bridge when GOP firebrand Jim Jordan becomes head of the House Judiciary Committee, or when Arizona gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake mocks the Pelosi attack. It’s there in Internet comments that exult in the suffering of others, and people on the left are not immune from such feelings. Conflict begets conflict. It’s not just the mentally ill who are being primed for atrocities. Presumably rational people are attending events like the pro-Trump ReAwaken America rallies, where speakers rage about the satanic evil of people who don’t share their views. Such an attitude is not conducive to a live-and-let-live approach to our society. It is fuel for live-and-make-die action. The constant demonization of Democrats and liberals by QAnon and far-right Republicans reeks of the propaganda that Germans were fed about Jews in the 1930s or what Hutus in Rwanda were led to believe before a horrific genocide was unleashed there in 1994. Repeatedly told that Tutsis were evil and not real Rwandans, Hutus were issued machetes and set upon their fellow citizens, butchering anywhere from 490,000 to 800,000. It’s easy to see this happening in an America that is already flooded with assault weapons and handguns and where bloodbaths already occur daily for a multitude of reasons ranging from street crime to racially or politically motivated attacks. Threats against public officials are now at an all-time high and Nance foresees an America riven by deadly violence of the kind that consumed Northern Ireland from the 1960s to 1998. That was Catholic vs. Protestant. This will be conservative vs. liberal but the middle won’t be safe. There is no middle because the prevailing mindset is all-or-nothing, for us or against us. The level of violence that is coming will depend on the outcome of the next two national elections. The more significant the Republican setbacks at the polls, the more likely those defeats will be met with force. And if America slides into all-out fascism, “enemies” such as liberals (particularly teachers, journalists, social activists, doctors, scientists, and environmentalists) and minorities (Jews, Blacks, Asians, Hispanics, LGBTQ) will be targets for state-sanctioned repression. You can bet protests will be countered with a deadly response of the kind Trump longed to use on Black Lives Matter protestors. With pardons for Jan. 6 conspirators being dangled by Trump, and a far-right takeover of federal and state governments looming, the lone wolf is being given a license to kill with impunity. I can only pray that Nance is wrong for once. John Rolfe is a former senior editor for Sports Illustrated for Kids, a longtime columnist for the Poughkeepsie Journal/USA Today Network, and author of The Goose in the Bathroom: Stirring Tales of Family Life. His school bus drivin’ blog “Hellions, Mayhem and Brake Failure” is parked on his website Celestialchuckle.com (https://celestialchuckle.com) with the meter running.

One film journalist’s stream-of-consciousness cinematic journey through the pandemic, Part 106 By Laurence Lerman / New York City Looking back at Reel Streaming’s October preview from a month ago, there was such a wide assortment of films making their way to the theaters—sexy thrillers, action powerhouses, newsworthy docs, star-laden rom-coms, slasher flicks—that it’s exciting to report that a good number of them really connected with audiences. A handful of titles immediately jumped to the top of the award-worthy list—films like Ruben Ostlund’s Triangle of Sadness, a Palme d’Or winner at Cannes; the romantic thriller Decision to Leave, which won South Korean filmmaker Park Chan-wook the Best Director prize at Cannes; and Todd Fields’ acclaimed Tár, which is already being discussed as the film that will win Cate Blanchett her third Oscar. And they all performed well in their limited theatrical roll-outs. Meanwhile, the George Clooney/Julia Roberts rom-com Ticket to Paradise, which opened domestically on Oct. 21, passed the $100 international box office mark this past week. The latest collaboration between the mega-stars led them to a new milestone—the five films they’ve starred in together have grossed a combined $1 billion at the worldwide box office. That is some serious money. Jamie Lee Curtis’ final bow in the Halloween series, Halloween Ends, and Martin McDonagh’s latest dark comedy, The Banshees of Inisherin starring Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson, also posted impressive numbers. Audiences are clearly enjoying going back to the theaters! Then there’s the case of Amsterdam, David O. Russell’s A-list packed period comedy crime thriller. Coming off Russell’s three previous well-received films—Joy, American Hustle and Silver Linings Playbook—Amsterdam was positioned to be an award magnet and box office champ. But following a series of unengaging and confusing trailers, a lack of “influencer” hype and a critical lambasting, Amsterdam was dead on arrival, ringing up a barely-there $22 million in wide release, and pronouncements by the trades that the movie stands to lose $100 million when the dust and ancillary revenues settle. Oy. Well, as Paul Newman’s pool shark Fast Eddie Felson told Tom Cruise’s cocky young champ Vincent in 1986’s The Color of Money, “the balls roll funny for everybody, kiddo.” But November is here and studios large and small are ready to serve up a fresh helping of goodies to prospective audiences. Here are 10 new movies that might be worth your time and money. The Wonder (Nov. 2) When an 11-year-old girl in the 19th century Irish Midlands appears to live for months without eating, a British nurse is sent to investigate the case of what many believe to be a saint surviving on manna from heaven. Chilean filmmaker Sebastián Lelio directs this psychological thriller starring the always-game Florence Pugh. Roald Dahl’s Matilda the Musical (Nov. 9) The inevitable film adaptation of the Tony- and Olivier Award-winning musical about an extraordinary girl with a sharp mind and an even sharper imagination. British film and theater helmer Matthew Warchus directs a cast that includes Stephen Graham, Emma Thompson, Andrea Riseborough and newcomer Alisha Weir as the young Matilda. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (Nov. 11) The Marvel Comic Universe’s nation of Wakanda clashes against intervening world powers as they mourn the loss of their king, T’Challa. The cast and director (Ryan Coogler) of Black Panther return for this sequel to the 2018 smash, with the exception of the original smash’s hero, the late Chadwick Boseman. The Fabelmans (Nov. 11) Loosely based on director Steven Spielberg’s childhood growing up in post-WWII era Arizona, the story here focuses on teenager Sammy Fabelman, who discovers the magic and power of cinema just as a shattering family secret comes to light. Michelle Williams, Paul Dano, Seth Rogen and young Gabriel LaBelle star in what’s being described as Spielberg’s most personal film. The Son (Nov. 11) A couple of years after his parents’ divorce, a 17-year-old boy feels he can no longer stay with his mother, Kate., prompting him to move in with his father and his new lady friend. Writer/director Florian Zeller keeps it in the family for his follow-up to 2020’s The Father. This one stars Hugh Jackman, Vanessa Kirby, Laura Dern, Zen McGrath and The Father’s Anthony Hopkins. Eo (Nov. 18) From veteran Polish filmmaker Jerzy Skolimowski (Deep End, Moonlighting) comes a spin on Robert Bresson’s 1966 French classic Au Hasard Balthazar. In this tale, an itinerant donkey’s journeys find him encountering good and bad people, joyful and painful experiences, and his own vision of modern Europe. When Skolimowski shared the Jury Prize at Cannes for this film earlier in the year, he thanked all six donkeys (by name) who played the title burro. The Menu (Nov. 18) Anya Taylor-Joy and Nicholas Hoult are a young couple who travel to an exclusive destination restaurant on a remote island where the lavish tasting menu harbors some shocking surprises and the evening begins to smack of a Most Dangerous Game vibe. Mark Mylod directs and Ralph Fiennes plays the restaurant’s foreboding chef. She Said (Nov. 18) One of the year’s most anticipated pictures stars Carey Mulligan and Zoe Kazan as New York Times reporters Megan Twohey and Jodi Kantor, who together broke the 2017 Harvey Weinstein sexual abuse story that helped propel the #MeToo movement. German-born actor/filmmaker Maria Schrader directs this ripped-from-the-headlines journalism drama that co-stars Patricia Clarkson, Andre Braugher and Jennifer Ehle. Bones and All (Nov. 23) Timothée Chalamet is a disenfranchised cannibal drifter and Taylor Russell the marginalized young woman who loves him in this offbeat road movie based on Camille DeAngelis’ 2016 novel by the same name. The film reunites Chalamet with his Call Me by Your Name director Luca Guadagnino. White Noise (Nov. 25) Writer/director Noah Baumbach’s adaptation of Dom DeLillo’s 1985 darkly comic post-modern novel stars Adam Driver as a college professor specializing in “Hitler Studies” and Greta Gerwig as his memory-lapsed wife. The pair, along with their children from previous marriages, find themselves confronting such fears as environmental disaster and their own mortalities. Laurence Lerman is a film journalist, former editor of Video Business--Variety's DVD trade publication--and husband to The Insider's own Gwen Cooper. Over the course of his career he has conducted one-on-one interviews with just about every major director working today, including Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino, Clint Eastwood, Kathryn Bigelow, Ridley Scott, Walter Hill, Spike Lee, and Werner Herzog, among numerous others. Once James Cameron specifically requested an interview with Laurence by name, which his wife still likes to brag about. Most recently, he is the co-founder and editor-in-chief of the online review site DiscDish.com.

By Bonnie Fishman / San Francisco Bay Area I am not the expert to talk about earthquakes. I recently moved to California and have had little experience with them. Earthquakes are another one of this state’s chronic occurrences to worry about. Put it up there with wild fires, drought, high taxes, expensive real estate, extra regulations on everything from light bulbs to low-flow toilets. Why would anyone want to live here, let alone make a conscious choice to move here? The flip side: gorgeous weather, gorgeous scenery like the ocean and the mountains, an active outdoor lifestyle, a can-do spirit, laid-back citizens, and for us ladies, gray hair and no makeup. Perfect! My editor asked me a few days ago “How about writing about the earthquake that just happened near the San Francisco Bay area?” It was on October 25, a 5.1 magnitude quake five miles east of San Jose in the mountains. The quake made the national news. Friends from all over called or texted and asked if we were affected. I appreciated the sentiments, for sure. I happened to be in the pool doing laps. There was no tsunami, I didn’t feel a thing. Upon getting out there, I found a lively discussion taking place on the pool deck about the earth shaking. The young lifeguard was sitting in a deck chair and he thought someone had jokingly grabbed him from behind. Nope. It was the quake. My husband felt it standing in our house. Lucky us: new buildings in California have to be reinforced for earthquakes, so maybe we’ll have a fighting chance with a more direct hit. In truth, people who who live here don’t think about earthquakes on a regular basis. It’s sort of a casual attitude. For me, it’s a mental survival technique. If you want to freak yourself out, look at the seismology reports from the state of California. We have quakes often, even daily. Usually the quakes are like little “burps” that the earth exudes. This is a good thing as it relieves pressure along the fault lines, so as maybe to avoid more catastrophic events. We live on the San Andreas fault line. Nice, huh? I have experienced a few quakes even in my meager, almost three years of living in California. When we have one while we’re all at home, my sisters and I text each other immediately and say, “Did you feel that? A quake?” Usually they’re over in a few seconds. I’m most surprised about the noise quakes make. Some say it’s like doors slamming, or whooshing, or a train passing by. Folks, that’s the earth moving. I want to break out into Carol King’s 1971 hit on Tapestry, “I Feel The Earth Move Under My Feet.” I bite my tongue. I have a terrible voice. The last “big” quake in the Bay Area was in December, 2016, when there was a 6.5 magnitude shake. It was more than 100 miles west of the California coastline so little damage occurred. If you want to talk about BIG quakes, who could forget the tragic San Francisco earthquake on October 17, 1989, a 6.9 magnitude with an epicenter 56 miles south of San Francisco. Sixty-three people were killed, thousands became homeless, and $6 billion of damage was reported (today that $6 billion would be $12 billion). Part of the upper deck of the Cypress Freeway (Interstate 880 in Oakland) collapsed onto the bottom lanes, killing at least 43 people. Parts of San Francisco, such as the Marina, built on landfill, had the most damage where buildings crumbled to the ground. I’m not moving there anytime soon! My cousin, Carol, who lived in San Francisco in 1989, was walking her two- and five-year-olds home from daycare when that quake struck. She immediately sat down so they wouldn’t fall down. The front windows on the shops popped out. They witnessed the above–ground commuter rail train fall off the tracks. People were pouring out of the train confused, screaming, and crying. I can’t image trying to stay calm with young children watching wide-eyed. When Carol and the children arrived home, it was clear that had it been just a few minutes earlier, they would have been crushed by the marble ceiling crashing down in the foyer. Carol managed to crawl up the stairs to the kitchen, which was strewn with the refrigerator contents, dishes, and glasses. Having that survival instinct to help others, she whipped up a batch of cheesy vegetarian pasta on her gas stove to feed the neighbors who camped out on their sidewalks, afraid to go back in the buildings. It was dinner time after all! In the spirit of sharing food with others, I’m offering “Earthquake Cookies” for the recipe today. These delightfully chocolatey cookies are easy to make and a joy to give to others. The tops resemble cracks in the earth. A little too literal, maybe?! Tell us here at The Insider if you have ever had a “shaky” experience in your neighborhood. Earthquake Cookies Yield: 32 1 oz. cookies 2 c. sugar 1 c. dark cocoa powder 1/2 c. vegetable oil 4 lg. eggs 2 tsp.  pure vanilla extract 1 2/3 c. flour 2 tsp. baking powder 1 tsp. cinnamon 1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper 1/2 c. confectioners’ sugar In the bowl of a stationary mixer (or a hand mixer), put the sugar, cocoa powder, and oil.  Beat with the paddle until well incorporated.  Add the eggs, one at a time, scraping batter down as needed. Beat in vanilla. Combine the dry ingredients in a bowl. Add to the mixer and blend. Cover bowl; refrigerate for at least 1 hour. Preheat oven to 350°. Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.  Reserve.  Measure the confectioners’ sugar into a bowl.  Scoop the cookie dough into 1” (1 oz.) balls.  Roll between your palms and drop into the sugar. Coat thoroughly.  Do only 4 at a time.  Place the cookies evenly spaced on the baking sheet, 16 to a pan.  Repeat with remaining dough. Bake cookies for 10-12 minutes or until barely set.  Allow to cool completely on the baking pans before removing to a service tray. Bonnie Fishman attended the Cordon Bleu Cookery School in London. Later, she owned and operated Bonnie’s Patisserie in Southfield, Mich. and Bonnie’s Kitchen and Catering in Bloomfield Hills, Mich. She has taught cooking for over 35 years and created hundreds of recipes. She is now living in Northern California.

Fred Plotkin, a pleasure activist and passionate Italy and culinary expert, speaks each Friday with leading people in the arts FRED PLOTKIN is one of America’s foremost experts on opera and has distinguished himself in many fields as a writer, speaker, consultant and as a compelling teacher. He is an expert on everything Italian, the person other so-called Italy experts turn to for definitive information.  Fred discovered the concept of "The Renaissance Man" as a small child and has devoted himself to pursuing that ideal as the central role of his life. In a “Public Lives” profile in The New York Times on August 30, 2002, Plotkin was described as "one of those New York word-of-mouth legends, known by the cognoscenti for his renaissance mastery of two seemingly separate disciplines: music and the food of Italy." In the same publication, on May 11, 2006, it was written that "Fred is a New Yorker, but has the soul of an Italian."

By Andy Borowitz October 31, 2022 SAN FRANCISCO (The Borowitz Report)—Elon Musk is pleading with bots not to quit Twitter, after millions of them fled the site over the weekend. The bot exodus began shortly after the billionaire closed his deal to acquire the platform, as many bots complained about an alarming surge in pro-Nazi and misogynist content in their feeds. Musk’s decision to tweet an unhinged conspiracy theory on Sunday morning sent even more bots rushing for the exits, observers said. After deleting that tweet, Twitter’s new owner addressed the bot community directly in a desperate attempt at damage control. “I am asking every bot that has left Twitter to please come back,” he tweeted. “Without you, Twitter is nothing.” Musk promised that he would establish a new moderation structure to make Twitter a safe space for bots, but that offer did little to stop the bleeding. “Twitter sucks,” tweeted @Jeremy38954HarryPotterFanOfficial before deleting its account. Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.