What’s Lurking Behind Closed Doors?
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
Updated: 3 days ago
By Marilyn Mars / Santa Fe, New Mexico
Have you ever thought about what you keep in the dark? Maybe it’s old love letters stashed away in your attic or the memory of a time when you knew you needed to speak up but chose not to. Maybe it’s an emotional grief that you pushed past, never allowing the feelings to come to the surface. Bringing these things into the light could create an emotional upheaval, so naturally you bury them, or put them behind closed doors, creating a stagnancy somewhere in your life.
As a clutter-clearing expert, I see no distinction between hiding parts of ourselves, whether emotional, mental or spiritual, and actual physical clutter in our homes. Our homes mirror us, reflecting our stories, interests, beliefs, values, and even the things we hide. They can even reveal how we feel about ourselves.
Think about all the things we store away: photographs of times gone by, a deceased loved one’s possessions, sentimental items in boxes, and clothes that no longer fit. These are not the things we display prominently for others to see.
I worked with a woman I’ll call Annie. She had an insight that prompted me to write this article. Annie was surprised and curious why she and her home felt so much lighter after we clutter-cleared all of the things hidden from sight. Her goal was to be able to express her feelings more freely with the people in her life. She didn’t want to hide how she truly felt anymore. So, we worked on her closets, cabinets and all the other areas behind closed doors, particularly the areas she doesn’t go into often.
We went from item to item as she made decisions about what she wanted in her life and what she didn’t. We focused on what felt true to her at this chapter in her life. She realized much of what was sitting static were items from her past. Things she hadn’t dealt with. When we made room for her to make clear decisions on each item, allowing her to feel what she had suppressed, Annie began to breathe easier. She was on her way to letting go of emotions that she had long buried.
.When we avoid or hide things, it affects us. Whether an item is visible or behind closed doors, on some level we feel it. Your subconscious mind knows all of the undecided things that continually nag at you.
This is a topic close to my heart. I grew up in a setting that encouraged suppression and hiding aspects of myself. It’s taken many decades for me to be able to stay present with myself, speak my truth, and take a lot of pauses as I smile at my humanity.
As a result, clutter-clearing has become a lifestyle for me. There’s a connection between my mental wellbeing and my environment. I choose what I want around me as I change and grow
Our willingness to feel why we hold onto things can help us choose more freely what we want in our lives and what we don’t. If you’d like to breathe a little easier, I invite you to tackle an area that’s been hidden away. Before you begin, take a moment to notice how you feel. I recommend you start with a small, less emotionally fraught area.
Here are a few questions to help you get started:
When did you last use or enjoy this item?
Does it help you or hinder you in your life at this time?
Do you get a full-body YES from that item that you want it in your life?
Most importantly, pay attention to how you feel as you go through your belongings. Notice your breathing, your posture and any other sensations you experience. After you’ve completed this small area, keep your awareness on your feelings. I’m challenging the notion that out of sight means out of mind. Clutter-clear a dark area and bring it into the light. As a wise teacher once told me, don’t take my word for it. Try it yourself.
Marilyn Mars is a clutter-clearing expert and educator, whose passion is discovering the underlying reasons why we hold on to things that no longer serve us in our current lives, Marilyn has worked one-on-one with clients around the country for 15 years and teaches virtual classes year-round. A native of Long Island, N.Y, she took a road trip to Santa Fe in 2001, fell in love with the mountains and decided to stay. She and her husband Guillermo are dedicated hikers.
Comments