Trump Claims MRI on His Brain Found Nothing

By Andy Borowitz 

December 1, 2025

Andrew Harnik/Getty

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Boasting about his cognitive health, on Monday Donald J. Trump asserted than an MRI performed on his brain found nothing.

“I had a perfect MRI,” he told reporters. “The greatest doctors in the country looked at my brain and came up empty.”

Trump said there was no point in releasing his MRI because “there’s nothing to see,” adding, “It’s like the East Wing.”