By Andy Borowitz
April 25, 2021
PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Unsparing in his criticism of the President, Donald J. Trump blasted Joe Biden for firing almost no one in his first hundred days.
“It took me barely over a week to fire Sally Yates, and by March I’d axed forty-six U.S. attorneys,” he said. “I hit the ground running and I never looked back.”
At the rate Biden is going, Trump said, “He’s going to be looking across his desk at the same losers the entire time he’s in office.”
In another alleged failure of Biden’s first hundred days, Trump ripped the President for having picked “no fights whatsoever” with TV celebrities.
“It’s almost like he doesn’t even watch TV,” Trump said. “What does he do all day?”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.