December 9, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A furious Donald J. Trump attempted to fire the Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett, sources report.
According to the sources, Trump was so irate about the Supreme Court’s dismissal of his election challenge on Tuesday that he phoned Barrett directly to inform her that she was “history.”
“I hired you to get a job done, and you didn’t get it done,” Trump angrily informed Barrett. “You’re out of here.”
Sources say that Barrett had the unenviable task of informing Trump that Supreme Court Justices are appointed for life and therefore cannot be fired, a revelation that left Trump “flabbergasted.”
“If I can’t fire anybody I want, maybe I don’t want to be President anymore,” he reportedly muttered.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.