August 13, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a blistering takedown of Joe Biden’s running mate, Donald Trump on Thursday accused Senator Kamala Harris of maliciously speaking in complete sentences.
Blasting her penchant for hewing to the rules of grammar, Trump said, “A lot of people are saying, mean, nasty, disrespectful. To a new level, like you wouldn’t believe.”
“Sad,” he said. “Sick and sad.”
Trump also was contemptuous of Biden, noting, “Sleepy Joe—something’s going on.”
“Quite frankly,” he added.
In his most withering criticism, Trump suggested that Harris’s stubborn insistence on making subjects agree with verbs was an insult to every American voter.
“Woman bad,” he said.