July 11, 2022
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a preview of his testimony to the committee investigating January 6th, Steve Bannon claimed that he was busy washing his hair that day.
“Call me vain, but my hair’s appearance is very important to me,” he said. “I can spend all day washing it, and that’s what happened on January 6th.”
Bannon said that he stepped into the shower that morning to wash and condition his hair and “kind of lost track of time. I must have been in the shower for seven or eight hours.”
Emerging from the shower, Bannon then spent the better part of two hours combing out and drying his hair, he said.
“If the committee wants inside info on January 6th, I’m afraid I’m going to have to disappoint them,” he said. “Anyone who knows Steve Bannon knows that my grooming always comes first.”