By Emmy Serviss / Boston
On June 24th when the Supreme Court took away my rights over my own body, I felt Numb.
Today, on November 11th, following one of the most crucial midterm elections in years, I feel scared.
I’m not a political aficionado. I don’t know the specific races I should be watching, but I know which swing states to keep an eye on. I don’t know the names of the nominees I should be wary of, but I know what’s at stake.
Anyone who says they’re “not political” is coming from a place of privilege.
Not caring about the current election (or any election, really) tells me that you don’t have anything to lose. YOUR rights aren’t at risk of being taken away, so you have the luxury of “not caring.”
But when Americans are allowed easier access to guns than healthcare, and a mass shooting happens every other week – you care.
When you’re a woman who could be forced to carry a baby to term, even if you have absolutely no desire to have children – you care.
When you’re Jewish and always thought that “it couldn’t happen here,” until anti-Semitic rhetoric and literal Nazis are suddenly making their presence known – you care.
There are so many people who don’t have the privilege to “not care.”
We’re scared.
I’m scared.
As the election results trickled in, I felt the same nervous energy as I did six years ago. When I went to bed that night, I remember feeling a little concerned, but confident that I would wake up to our first female president. I had no idea what I would wake up to the next morning, or what the next five years would hold.
The thought of the Republicans taking majority over Congress is terrifying, given what is at stake, and I genuinely don’t know if my fear is overreacting, or completely warranted. As I’m writing this, the Democrats lost a couple Senate seats, and lost a few House seats. But they also gained several governors’ seats, so I don’t know what any of that is predicting yet.
This is the part where my lack of political prowess makes me prone to panic. Part of me wants to turn on CNN to hear the commentary and explanations of what is happening from people who know what they’re talking about. And the other part of me thinks that could make me even more confused and/or more panicky.
I mailed in my ballot early, so I did my part.
I made my voice heard.
I cast my vote.
But the idea that millions of other Americans may be voting to take away MY rights and the rights of others chills me to my core. I want to believe we’re better than this. But are we? We certainly haven’t been showing the world our best selves over the last five years.
I want to believe that America is still the land of the free and the home of the brave.
But I don’t know if that’s true anymore.
And that makes me feel sad.
And scared.
Emmy Serviss is a Boston-based writer, actor and video editor. Once it is safe to return to live theater, you can find her performing with ComedySportz Boston and the sketch group SUZZY. When not on the stage, Emmy enjoys indulging in her new pandemic hobbies, laughing way too loudly and counting the days until Halloween.