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Rule Change for Second Debate Forbids Trump from Attending

October 1, 2020

Photograph by Jonathan Ernst / Reuters
Photograph by Jonathan Ernst / Reuters

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a rule change announced on Thursday, the Commission on Presidential Debates said that Donald J. Trump will not be permitted to attend the second debate.

“We took a look at the first debate and decided that we needed to tweak the format a bit,” Harland Dorrinson, a spokesperson for the commission, said. “We think this rule change fixes everything.”

Anticipating criticism that a debate must have at least two participants, the spokesperson said, “There will be, if you count the moderator.”

To enforce the rule change, the commission will post a photo of Trump at security, but Dorrinson said that he hoped that such a measure would not be necessary.

“If President Trump is listening, we are asking him to stand back, but don’t stand by,” he said.

Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.



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