January 3, 2022
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it his “solemn duty,” Rand Paul vowed to fill the COVID-misinformation gap created by Twitter’s ban of Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene.
In an emotional statement, the U.S. senator from Kentucky said that those who have relied on Greene for COVID-19 falsehoods “must not be forgotten.”
“Twitter’s ban of Marjorie Taylor Greene left millions without a go-to source for reckless pandemic myths,” he said. “I am here to say, ‘I got this.’ ”
Admitting that it would be challenging to mislead as many people about the virus as Greene did, Paul said, “I relish that challenge.”
He also addressed what would happen if, like Greene, he is eventually banned from the social-media platform.
“I will pass the baton to Matt Gaetz, Ron DeSantis, and Greg Abbott,” Paul said. “Let Twitter be warned: when it comes to misinformation, we Republicans have an extremely deep bench.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.