Preoccupied? Fixated? Consumed? Hooked? Welcome to the Club!
- 4 days ago
- 5 min read
By Dr. Nancy Fishman / Morgan Hill, Calif.
As a student of human behavior, I have lately been fascinated, humored, and often irritably nettled by the many obsessions. I notice among people across all ages and backgrounds. Just the word “obsession” has taken on a life of its own, with variations of strength and focus, filling our vernacular with common references to a growing acceptance of what society has determined is right for us.
“Oh! I’m obsessed with this new brand of running shoes!”
“I can’t live without my vitamins!”
“I am so OCD! I just can’t stop asking Siri for advice! What would I do without her?”
Trendy trends have always been an obsession among those who perhaps care about what others think or want to be certain they haven’t missed out on the latest and greatest.
When I was at the gym last week, I did not see one person without a water bottle. Let’s talk about water bottles, which seem to have become a fashion appendage. I think of a water bottle as a cross between a pacifier and a security blanket. Don’t leave home without one. According to Grand View Research, the global reuseable water bottle market was approximately $9. 7 billion dollars in 2024 and is projected to reach $$12.6 billion from 2025-2030.
Apparently, it’s not enough to just own any ol’ water bottle; some say your water bottle must reflect your self-image. This notion directs people to choose their favorite color and pattern. Most important seems to be the label. Thermos isn’t the only game in town. Its competitors like Yeti, Owala and ThermoFlask are just a few that strive to capture a piece of that giant industry.
Counting has also become a serious obsession!
How many times a day do you hear people talk about the number of steps they have taken, miles they have run, laps they have swum, glasses of water they have drunk, grams of protein they have consumed? I suspect the basis of these obsessions is our need to be healthy. If we follow the trends, perhaps we will be the healthiest people in the cemetery.
Is it merely the people in my orbit, or is the world currently obsessed with news feeds?
Whether you get your updates from traditional media outlets like credible newspapers that require multiple sources of corroboration or late night TV hosts, or Internet influencers, how many times a day do you check your phone to find out what’s going on? Are you preoccupied, or obsessed?
So, what’s the difference? A preoccupation is when you are deeply absorbed, or rapt in thoughts about a particular subject. An obsession is when thoughts of that subject cause anxiety and become so intrusive that your life is interrupted.
Of growing concern are the obsessions of Gen Z, the emerging generation. Currently in my work with young people, I am seeing an alarming combination of three different obsessions that together seem to be responsible for either a delay, or a complete derailing of developmental progress: marijuana, gaming, and social media.
Since the legalization of marijuana, there is a societal permission to smoke weed. The quality of marijuana is very different than it was before legalization. Today marijuana is far more potent than it was back in the day. According to American Addiction Center, cannabis is "habit-forming and can lead to a condition known as cannabis use disorder or addiction."
Not long ago, both in-patient and out-patient addiction treatment programs were filled with alcohol and drug addiction patients; there were virtually no marijuana users. Today about 20% of treatment programs are filled with people who need help withdrawing from marijuana use. Though marijuana is not as addictive as opiates, it still causes impairments and users make destructive decisions.
The second of the three obsessions is on-line gaming. Young people who allow this seemingly innocent pastime to become a preoccupation or an obsession are prone to withdraw from activities in the outside world. They prefer to stay in their rooms and play games on-line with people whom they’ve never met face-to-face. This choice may feel less pressured than trying to function socially in the outside world. But the problem is that the longer they stay in the gaming bubble, the further behind they become socially and the less likely they are to want to climb out of that rut.
The third preoccupation is social media, which can give young people a false sense of involvement. They seem inclined to follow trendsetters, called influencers, as if they were proper role models for healthy choices. Influencers with the help of AI and Siri, encourage young people to conform rather than to develop critical thinking skills. They fear being out of the loop even for the length of one class period.
Students walking around school hallways with their heads bowed staring at their phones between classes have caused some school systems to rule out the use of cellphones during school hours. This is known as the Bell-to-Bell Rule, which has been adopted by schools in Arkansas, Colorado and Pennsylvania, to name a few.
Too often, overuse of cellphones and social media have replaced the old-fashioned face-to-face interactions with peers, robbing young people of the opportunity to gain real life social proficiency. Cell phone dependency is not just a young people phenomenon, though. it exists across all age groups. We see it worldwide on the spectrum between preoccupation and obsession.
Were we always a society of obsessions? Growing up in the ‘60s, life really was less complicated. We weren’t tethered to habit-forming personal computers. We weren’t barraged by trend-inducing- advertisements for an endless stream of enticements. There was a narrower selection of paths to take, products to purchase, life choices to make. We didn’t have influencers, AI or Siri to do our thinking for us. We learned how to think for ourselves, to make our own decisions. We weren’t so prone to preoccupations and obsessions. We weren’t so anxious!
Are you thinking about your own harmless habits? Perhaps they have not yet become preoccupations or progressed into full-blown obsessions. But if you are at all concerned that you are having difficulty pulling yourself away from activities that consume you, it might be time to find balance in your life by adding other interests.
This column is devoted to psychological topics that speak to the human condition, such as relationships, family, love, loss, and happiness. The ideas, thoughts, philosophies, and observations expressed here are personal and not meant as professional advice. Names and identifying information have been changed to protect the privacy of real people.
Dr. Nancy Fishman moved to Santa Clara County in 2016 from Michigan, where she was a practicing psychologist. Currently, she is a strategy consultant to individuals, families, businesses, family law attorneys and their clients, working on coping, managing, reorganizing, pivoting and innovating. She is the founder of Forgotten Harvest, one of the nation’s largest food recovery operations. She is also the creator of Silicon Valley’s A La Carte food recovery and distribution initiative, and the organizer of Feeding Morgan Hill. Nancy lives on a family compound with her husband, sisters, brother-in-law, and a pack of dogs.
Comments