December 19, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Posing for cameras to receive the COVID-19 vaccine, Mike Pence expressed his fear that the sight of his bare arm would drive women wild.
Pence, who has lived daily with the burden of being irresistible to females, worried that unveiling his bicep would be “like pouring gasoline on a fire.”
“I know it’s important that I set an example by getting the vaccine in public, but it comes with a steep price,” he said. “Now there are going to be even more ladies out there desperate to get a piece of Mike.”
Resigned to the consequences, Pence rolled up his sleeve to reveal his naked arm. “Here we go,” the Vice-President said. “Tickets to the gun show.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.