April 4, 2022
ANCHORAGE (The Borowitz Report)—Kicking off her campaign for the United States Congress, Sarah Palin lashed out at the word game Wordle for “using such long words.”
“Wordle uses words that are way too long for everyday Americans like me to guess,” she told her audience at a campaign stop in Anchorage. “When I tried to play Wordle, I did the same thing I did as governor—I quit halfway through.”
Palin also blasted the publisher of Wordle, her longtime nemesis the New York Times. “Once again, the New York Times is using long words to make me feel bad about myself,” she said.
The former governor said that she is unconcerned that fifty other candidates are running for Alaska’s open congressional seat. “Honestly, I can’t count that high,” she said.