By Andy Borowitz
November 8, 2021
SESAME STREET (The Borowitz Report)—Ted Cruz’s unprovoked attack on Big Bird has cost the Republican senator the support of a longtime backer, Oscar the Grouch.
In a rare press conference at his trash can, Oscar said that he had supported Cruz’s political career for years “to show solidarity with a fellow-monster.”
For Oscar, however, the dustup with the popular avian character raised concerns about further association with Cruz: “He could hurt my brand.”
“Don’t get me wrong—I can’t stand Big Bird,” he said. “His relentless sunniness, to me, is intolerable. But that’s no excuse for Ted Cruz to go off like an asshat.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.