Olympics Update: Trump Wins Gold in Downhill Presidency
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By Andy Borowitz
February 10, 2026
MILAN (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump celebrated at the Winter Olympics on Tuesday after winning the gold medal in the downhill presidency.
Trump beamed as he stood on the winners’ podium, boasting, “Obama never won this.”
Notching a historic win, Trump set a new speed record for driving the world’s strongest economy into a ditch.
Despite his victory, he remained bitter about the Super Bowl halftime show, telling reporters that “Bad Bunny took a job away from an American bunny.”
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