July 28, 2022
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Accusing the West Virginia senator of “collaborating with the enemy,” Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell angrily announced Joe Manchin’s expulsion from the Republican Party.
“Joe Manchin’s behavior during the past twenty-four hours has shocked and dismayed his fellow-Republicans,” McConnell told reporters. “He has gone over to the dark side.”
McConnell said that Manchin had “traitorously” broken with the G.O.P. leadership by “consorting with Democrats.”
“If Joe Manchin thinks his party will forgive him for this betrayal, he is sorely mistaken,” he said.
The party leader said that “what hurts the most” is that Manchin agreed to a deal that mitigates climate change and lowers health-care costs. “He no longer deserves to call himself a Republican,” he said bitterly.