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Marjorie Taylor Greene Accuses Webb Telescope of Making New Galaxies Available to Jewish Lasers

By Andy Borowitz

July 13, 2022


Photograph courtesy NASA / ESA / CSA / STScI
Photograph courtesy NASA / ESA / CSA / STScI

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene has accused NASA’s James Webb telescope of finding new galaxies for Jewish space lasers to destroy.


“It’s bad enough that the Rothschilds’ lasers are wreaking havoc on our own solar system,” the Georgia congresswoman told reporters. “Now, thanks to the so-called Webb telescope, no corner of the universe will be safe from the international banking family’s ravaging space-beams.”


Declaring her solidarity with “all galactic victims of interstellar Hebraic weaponry,” Greene proposed defunding NASA unless it “stops doing the bidding of the Jewish laser cartel.”


“I stand with the people of the Carina Nebula,” she said. “I, too, am from another planet.”

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