November 19, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A Florida man who hates the job he has held for nearly four years is nevertheless refusing to leave it, puzzling psychologists.
While many people are reluctant to leave jobs that they enjoy, the man has shown every sign of despising his job from the day he took it.
Rather than applying himself to the tasks before him, he has gone to great lengths to avoid them, watching television most of the day and frequently leaving the office to play golf.
Sometimes, he has even hidden in the basement of his workplace for hours, according to reports.
And yet, despite his obvious distaste for his job, he has steadfastly refused to accept the fact that he was fired from it two weeks ago.
Dr. Davis Logsdon, chairman of the psychology department of the University of Minnesota, proposed a possible explanation for the man’s bizarre actions.
“This is the behavior of someone who has failed at many jobs,” he said. “On some level, he is terrified that he is not employable anywhere else.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.