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Letter From the Outgoing Queen

By Andy Borowitz

December 24, 2020



Dear my people,


As you know, this is my last Christmas as your Queen. That means I will never again decorate ugly Christmas tree with ugly tinsel and ugly balls. Also, I will never talk to you again. As a famous jacket once said, “I really don’t care, do u?” (LOL)


But before I go, I want to share some stories of amazing things that happened to your Queen this year. I don’t know where the time is going! Before I know, Barron will be going to college and I will only have only one baby at home.


Be Best,


Melania





Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.

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