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Larry Elder Claims Widespread Evidence of Him Losing

September 15, 2021

Photograph by Mike Blake / Reuters
Photograph by Mike Blake / Reuters

SACRAMENTO, California (The Borowitz Report)—After the polls closed in California’s recall election, the G.O.P. candidate Larry Elder claimed that there was “widespread evidence” of him losing to Governor Gavin Newsom.

Detailing his accusations, Elder alleged a “vast conspiracy” involving millions of Californians, designed to deny him a victory.

“I had people stationed at polling places across the state and they came back with truly shocking reports of people voting for Newsom,” he said. “Now, lo and behold, Newsom is being declared the winner. Coincidence? I don’t think so.”

Seeking a remedy for what he called “one of the most blatant cases of someone losing in California history,” Elder has retained the legal services of the former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani.

The two men are scheduled to hold a press conference on Thursday in Santa Monica, at Shutters on the Beach Total Landscaping.

Though Elder is playing his cards close to the vest, one remedy reportedly under discussion is a campaign to recall all ten million of the state’s Democratic voters.

Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.

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