By Andy Borowitz | The New Yorker
March 21, 2023
ORLANDO (The Borowitz Report)—Offering a vehement defense of Donald J. Trump, Representative Kevin McCarthy told reporters that the former President should not be indicted because “most if not almost all Americans” pay porn stars.
“What you use your personal money for is your own personal business,” the Speaker of the House said during a break at a G.O.P. retreat. “If you want to pay for a haircut, fine. If you want to pay for a car wash, also fine. And, if you want to pay a porn star, well, that’s fine, too, and pretty much every American does it.”
Asked if he had ever paid a porn star, McCarthy said, “You know what? I don’t think I have. But, because of the way George Soros has weaponized this prosecution against Donald Trump, I think I’m going to start paying porn stars to show my solidarity with an innocent man.”
Although McCarthy’s words drew support from many within the G.O.P., he received pushback from one prominent House Republican. “Only an idiot pays for porn,” said Representative Matt Gaetz.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.