By Andy Borowitz
March 7, 2021
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The House Minority Leader, Kevin McCarthy, blasted President Biden’s $1.9 trillion coronavirus-relief package on Sunday, alleging that the measure “utterly fails” to address the nation’s dire Dr. Seuss crisis.
“This bill is full of left-wing pet projects, like helping people pay for food, clothing, and shelter,” McCarthy said, in an appearance on Fox News. “It does nothing to address the No. 1 problem in America today: the threat to our nation’s supply of Dr. Seuss books.”
McCarthy added, “If you talk to any average American, they’ll tell you their biggest concern is that their family will lose access to ‘Hop on Pop’ or ‘Horton Hears a Who!’ Instead of facing that emergency head on, the Democrats have stuffed this bill with a progressive wish list of things like medicine and rent.”
“This legislation is cancel culture at its worst,” he said.
The Republican lawmaker predicted that, if the relief package becomes law, the Democrats will pay a steep political price. “The American people can live without food,” he said. “They cannot live without ‘Green Eggs and Ham.’ ”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.