November 28, 2022
PHOENIX (The Borowitz Report)—The former anchorwoman Kari Lake reportedly “stormed out” of Thanksgiving dinner after losing a pitched battle over the wishbone, multiple witnesses reported.
According to those who saw the ugly scene unfold, Lake was locked in a fierce struggle over the turkey part with a rival identified by several onlookers as her nine-year-old niece Paisley.
After Lake’s attempt to win a majority of the wishbone was soundly defeated, she blasted the contest for being riddled with fraud.
“When the truth comes out, I am going to be your worst nightmare,” she reportedly told her niece.
Just prior to her angry departure from the dinner, Lake had angrily rejected a demotion to the children’s table, relatives said.