top of page

Kari Lake Storms Out of Thanksgiving After Losing Battle for Wishbone

By Andy Borowitz

November 28, 2022

Photograph by Joe Raedle / Getty 
Photograph by Joe Raedle / Getty 

PHOENIX (The Borowitz Report)—The former anchorwoman Kari Lake reportedly “stormed out” of Thanksgiving dinner after losing a pitched battle over the wishbone, multiple witnesses reported.

According to those who saw the ugly scene unfold, Lake was locked in a fierce struggle over the turkey part with a rival identified by several onlookers as her nine-year-old niece Paisley.

After Lake’s attempt to win a majority of the wishbone was soundly defeated, she blasted the contest for being riddled with fraud.

“When the truth comes out, I am going to be your worst nightmare,” she reportedly told her niece.

Just prior to her angry departure from the dinner, Lake had angrily rejected a demotion to the children’s table, relatives said.

Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.

bottom of page