April 8, 2022
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Brett Kavanaugh is “upset” that the newly confirmed Justice of the Supreme Court Ketanji Brown Jackson has refused his invitation to a beer-pong initiation ritual he created for new members of the Court.
“It’s a great way to bond with your fellow-Justices,” Kavanaugh told reporters. “And, if the game goes on long enough, you get a righteous buzz on.”
Jackson reportedly told her fellow-jurist that she would be too busy studying the cases before the Court to participate in the beer-pong initiation, but Kavanaugh said that such an excuse “just doesn’t cut it.”
“Amy Coney Barrett played beer pong when she joined the Court,” he said. “It looks like Ketanji isn’t going to be much fun. She’s probably gonna skip Beach Week, too.”