December 15, 2021
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The Fox News host Sean Hannity sent a series of urgent texts on January 6, 2021, warning Donald J. Trump that the attack on the U.S. Capitol was boosting CNN’s ratings.
In the texts, released by the House select committee investigating the attack, Hannity described a doomsday scenario in which the insurrection helped lift CNN over Fox in the cable news ratings contest.
“CNN will get better numbers out of this than we will,” Hannity warned Trump. “A lot of our viewers can’t watch because they’re busy rioting.”
The texts showed Hannity pleading with Trump to beseech the rioters to prevent CNN from reaping ratings gold.
“You and I are on the same page as far as undermining democracy goes, but we need to think big picture here,” Hannity wrote.