March 25, 2022
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Assailed for her texts to the former White House chief of staff Mark Meadows, Ginni Thomas accused her critics of ignoring her three decades of exemplary service as a Supreme Court Justice.
“For the past thirty years, I have listened to oral arguments, studied legal precedents, and written opinions,” Thomas said. “All in all, I am confident that I have earned a place in history as one of our nation’s greatest Supreme Court Justices.”
Thomas said that, after reading some of the criticism that she has received for her texts, she was “shocked, and quite frankly hurt, that my stellar Supreme Court record could be so casually swept aside.”
“I have given thirty years of my life to the Supreme Court, and this is the thanks I get?” she asked.