June 10, 2022
PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Hoping to capitalize on Donald J. Trump’s annoyance at his daughter for her testimony before the January 6th committee, Eric Trump requested that he be given Ivanka Trump’s room at Mar-a-Lago.
According to those familiar with the exchange, Eric Trump’s campaign for his sister’s room began just moments after her testimony aired on Thursday night.
“Dad, it really sucks, that stuff Ivanka just said,” Eric Trump began. “I would never, ever say stuff like that about you.”
Sensing an opening, he continued, “She doesn’t deserve that big room she has. She’s never even here. She’s in Washington, saying stuff about you that totally sucks and that I would never say. Can I please, please have her room?”
“Shut up, you loser,” his father reportedly responded.