December 19, 2022
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Recognizing him for his “relentless contributions to the weariness of humanity,” Time has named Elon Musk the Most Exhausting Person of 2022.
In bestowing the title on Musk, Time cited the Twitter C.E.O.’s “nonstop but fruitless efforts to fill the yawning chasm of his soul by seeking the attention of indifferent strangers.”
In order to win the Most Exhausting crown, Musk bested a formidable list of contenders, including Kanye West, Kari Lake, and Senator Joe Manchin.
Most impressive, he wrested the titled from Donald J. Trump, who had won the honor every year from 2016 to 2021.
The Time editors’ decision drew no immediate response from Musk, who was preoccupied with a Twitter poll asking his followers what he should have for lunch.