February 25, 2022
TALLAHASSEE (The Borowitz Report)—A proposed law that would ban any positive discussion of Representative Matt Gaetz in Florida’s classrooms is being debated in the Florida House.
The bill, which has been dubbed “Don’t Say Gaetz,” has been written to protect Florida’s children, its advocates said.
“Our high-school kids are exposed to many dangers on a daily basis,” said Carol Foyler, a Florida mother who supports the bill. “Clearly, though, no danger is greater than Matt Gaetz.”
Under the provisions of the bill, Florida high-school students would be required to take a semester-long course “about the warning signs that they are in proximity to Matt Gaetz, and how to prevent that from ever happening,” Foyler said.
“The solution to this problem is education,” she said. “You can’t just pray the Gaetz away.”