By Merrill Lynn Hansen
Dear Abby,
I am 26 years old and engaged to a wonderful 38-year old man who is being falsely accused of having illegal dating relationships. My mother introduced me to him at a Trump fundraiser at Mar-a-Lago and it was love at first sight. He has assured me that people are lying, and saying bad things about him because he is a Republican congressman and a Trump supporter. My parents and I believe him, but some of my friends think I’m stupid and that I am blinded by love. What should I do?
Ginger
Dear Ginger,
Picking a life partner is a huge step and you might need a better understanding of the specifics of the "illegal dating" allegations, in order to know if they will have an effect on your relationship. I'm sure your friends don't think you're stupid, but have a genuine concern for you, as I'm sure your parents do, even though they are Trump supporters and named you "Ginger" (the seventh most popular name for strippers).
Abby
Dear Abby,
I don't want to seem stupid, but the allegations can't be true, because Matt (my fiancée) says he never brought a 17-year-old girl across state lines for sex, and that he has never paid prostitutes. Matt says the nude photos he's accused of having shown other people on the floor of the Congress were actually very tasteful, and that the girlfriend who sent him a nude photo of herself with a hula hoop had turned 18 six months earlier, and was not 17.
Ginger
Dear Ginger,
One of the forces that helps a couple to bond is their ability to communicate. Talking about your fiancée’s past relationships, and how you react to what he says, can be very healthy and help you learn something about yourself. It can also give you better insight into how he evolved into the man he is today.
Abby
Dear Abby,
Matt says that in his single days, he provided for women he dated, and paid for flights, hotel rooms and dinners because he was a very generous partner in those relationships. Matt says that someone is trying to make his generosity look criminal when it is not. I don't want to sound stupid, but I agree with him. During the past several months, I have been Matt's "travel buddy,” and he has always been generous to a fault.
Ginger
Dear Ginger,
You should consider whether you are the oldest travel buddy Matt has ever had. It sounds as if he is being accused of sex trafficking, which is very serious, and can result in eventual incarceration.
An important part of having a close and loving relationship is being together. You need to look ahead to see whether the two of you might be living apart during the first 30 years of your marriage.
Abby
Dear Abby,
I don't want to seem stupid, but I believe Matt when he says that a former Air Force intelligence officer is trying to extort money from his father and that his personal life is being smeared so I will break off our engagement. I overheard him tell his attorney that where he is going to be living in the next 30 years depends upon what his friend Joel Greenberg says. I think Joel must be a real-estate agent.
Ginger
Dear Ginger,
In order for your relationship with Matt to work, you have to pay attention to any red flags that pop up. If the media reports that Matt's previous girlfriends went to their senior proms the night before they met him, that's a red flag. When the two of you discuss how much money your wedding will cost, and he mentions setting aside some money for bail, that is a red flag. There may not always be a simple, telltale sign that Matt is being dishonest with you, but if his head keeps quickly moving to different positions, when he repeatedly says he's innocent, and that he never asked Trump for a preemptive pardon, your gut instincts should tell you that something is wrong.
Abby
Dear Abby,
Matt says he is a champion of women, and that is why he hired several young women who became an essential part of his time in Congress. But you are right about there being a red flag, and I have noticed it. Matt wants an Elvis impersonator at our wedding, and I'm worried that people will think I'm stupid if I agree to that. What should I do?
Ginger
Dear Ginger,
You are stupid!
Abby
Merrill Lynn Hansen is a legal assistant, living in West Bloomfield, Michigan. She describes herself as a frustrated writer, who wishes she could be Nora Ephron (when she was alive), if only for a day. She is a news-, political- and FB-junkie, a combination that requires a constant reminder that she needs to take deep cleansing breaths when responding to people who don't agree with her.