By Andy Borowitz | The New Yorker
March 13, 2023
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—A Chinese spy balloon hovered over the midtown Manhattan headquarters of Fox News for several days but found no information, Pentagon officials have confirmed.
The balloon, reportedly frustrated in its attempt to detect anything of a factual nature emanating from the cable news network’s home base, gave up its mission and went home.
A Pentagon spokesman defended the military’s decision not to shoot down the balloon over Fox. “Honestly, we couldn’t figure out why it was there,” he said.
Sources indicate that the Chinese President, Xi Jinping, is “furious” at the military leaders who sent the balloon to spy on Fox.
“This was a waste of a perfectly good balloon,” Xi reportedly shouted.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.