As Margareta Taught Us, No One Wants Your Junk After You Die!
- Apr 17
- 4 min read
By Marilyn Mars / Santa Fe, New Mexico
Have you ever pondered what happens to your belongings when you die? Margareta Magnusson did. In fact, in 2017, she wrote an international bestseller about it, The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. Or as they say in Swedish, dostadning. Since then, a million copies of the book have been sold worldwide, translated into some 30 languages. The book’s central premise is that thoughtfully decluttering your possessions during your life is an act of self-care and a gift to those that may end up having to sort through your items. It’s about deciding what to keep and what to let go of so as not to leave a chaotic burden behind for someone else to take care of.
As I mentioned in the Insider in February, I’ve been a Clutter clearing practitioner for over 15 years. I have worked with many clients during their own process of death cleaning. I have also worked with many people clearing out the homes of their loved ones who have recently died. I often see them face the daunting challenge of making decisions about what to keep and what to let go of while simultaneously grieving. It’s an emotionally taxing experience if you are left with someone else’s boatload of items.
Margareta, who passed away in March at age 91 was a professional painter and designer. Her journalist daughter Jane Magnusson, one of her five children, told a friend in the U.S. that her octogenarian mother in Sweden was “death cleaning.” The friend, overwhelmed by his own father’s possessions, said “I think there’s a book in that” and asked if Margareta could write it. Jane brought the idea to her mother and she agreed enthusiastically, turning her lifelong habit into a book in just a few months. The rest is publishing history.
One of the things I admire about this book is Margareta’s practical approach to death cleaning. She begins her book by saying: “The only thing that we know for sure is that we will die one day.” The author looks at death as an ordinary fact that should shape how we live and what we own at the different time periods of our life. Facing this openly is a motivating factor to organize and decide what really matters.
At the time of writing this book, Margareta was “somewhere between 80 and 100 years old” as she wryly describes it. The author advocates starting before you are frail, in midlife or later, as a permanent form of organization that makes your everyday life run more smoothly. She continually asks herself, “Will anyone I know be happier if I save this?” a nd letting it go if the answer is no. I also love how Margareta urges you to talk with your family as you sort through your belongings, both to share stories and to find out what they actually want rather than guessing.
Death cleaning at its best is a slow and steady affair, so one has time to process the feelings that arise while lettings things of times gone by go. In my experience, it’s one thing to go through practical items like expired makeup and worn-out socks and another thing to sort through more sentimental items such as letters and photographs. When it comes to the meaning we make of our things, a lot of emotions are likely to come up.
Maybe it’s your many treasured books or all the clothing you own, some of that you wear and much of it you don’t. Whether it’s everyday kitchen items or all those extra kitchen gadgets and appliances just sitting, someone will have to sift through them when you die. Why not make it a bit easier for those who will have this task?
When my clients are death cleaning, they often ask me the best way to handle items that are very meaningful to them. They are concerned that their private belongings such as journals and old love letters will fall into the hands of others when they die. I’ve seen many people grapple with the challenge of letting go of possessions that held sentimental value for their loved ones even if these items meant nothing to them. Guilt is what commonly arises. Margareta shrewdly suggests gathering these items into a box marked THROW AWAY and leave a note requesting it be destroyed when you die. In my experience, having such a box can give the people who come after you the freedom to let go with a clear conscience.
In my clutter clearing classes, I often pose the question: “We enter life with nothing, we leave with nothing. What is it about us humans that compels us to hold onto possessions?” A snake sheds its skin and forms a new one, trees shed their leaves until the next season of budding. Can we, as humans, learn to enjoy the things in the different chapters of our lives and yet be willing to let things go when it’s time?
If it’s true that the only thing we know for sure is that we will die one day, then why not make conscious choices of what we surround ourselves with in the different chapters of our lives? Margareta deftly touches upon so many of these points in The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. I found her book candid and surprisingly light-hearted, and humorous, filled with Margareta’s own experiences of death cleaning. She’s someone I would have liked to have met.
Marilyn Mars is a clutter-clearing expert and educator, whose passion is discovering the underlying reasons why we hold on to things that no longer serve us in our current lives, Marilyn has worked one-on-one with clients around the country for 15 years and teaches virtual classes year-round. A native of Long Island, N.Y, she took a road trip to Santa Fe in 2001, fell in love with the mountains and decided to stay. She and her husband Guillermo are dedicated hikers.
Comments