May 26, 2021
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—After news broke that the Manhattan District Attorney was convening a grand jury, Donald J. Trump changed the name of his company to the Eric Trump Organization.
The former President made the announcement in a press conference at his signature Manhattan building, the newly renamed Eric Trump Tower.
“Changing the name of the company is no big deal,” he said. “It’s going to be the same company that it’s always been—with Eric Trump running the show and me just following his orders.”
“It’s only fitting to call this company the Eric Trump Organization, because Eric is responsible for everything it has ever done,” he added. “This is long overdue.”
Asked about the grand jury, Trump said, “From what I’ve heard, they’re going to be looking into Eric’s businesses quite strongly. I hope he hasn’t gotten himself into a big mess. He’s been a great boss to work for all these years, and I wish him well.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.