By Andy Borowitz November 28, 2022 PHOENIX (The Borowitz Report)—The former anchorwoman Kari Lake reportedly “stormed out” of Thanksgiving dinner after losing a pitched battle over the wishbone, multiple witnesses reported. According to those who saw the ugly scene unfold, Lake was locked in a fierce struggle over the turkey part with a rival identified by several onlookers as her nine-year-old niece Paisley. After Lake’s attempt to win a majority of the wishbone was soundly defeated, she blasted the contest for being riddled with fraud. “When the truth comes out, I am going to be your worst nightmare,” she reportedly told her niece. Just prior to her angry departure from the dinner, Lake had angrily rejected a demotion to the children’s table, relatives said. Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.

By Bonnie Fishman / San Francisco Bay Area It’s starting to feel like winter, with shorter, colder and gloomier days. It makes me think of how I felt when my husband, Bob, and I embarked on a much-anticipated trip to Alaska back in August. Then, in truth, it was a little like experiencing whiplash. We went from 100° sunny weather here in arid California to rainy, overcast, cold Alaska. We didn’t see the sun for nine days. Note to self (and others): It rains in Alaska in August. Best chance for good weather is June and July. We didn’t take the usual cruise, mind you. We chose a different route to see the Inside Passage in the southeast corner of the state. Easy decision, not easy to do. Figuring out the Alaska Marine Highway ferry system and connecting the ports of call can be tricky. Now I know why people take cruises. It’s a much simpler, worry-free way to go from town to town, island to island. Book the trip and let the cruise liner do all of the planning. Unpack your suitcase and you’re good to go. But no, we went the more difficult route. There are three obvious advantages of not taking a cruise. First, traveling on our own was a fraction of the cruise cost. Second, we were not on anyone else’s schedule. Lastly, and most important to me, we were able to stay a few days in each town instead of an eight-hour pit stop. This was quite enlightening. We rented apartments in the towns and soaked in the local ambience and culture. Besides Sitka, which was our first stop, we ferried to Juneau, the Alaskan state capital. The city had more of a feel of an old-fashioned town with clapboard buildings lining the streets. Think Gold Rush days. We were able to visit one of the last remaining southern blue glaciers and also stop by an indigenous people’s museum. We had one of the best breakfasts ever at a famous local haunt, Sandpiper Cafe: Crab Cake Benedict on a toasted biscuit, poached eggs, caramelized onions, Hollandaise sauce with fried capers. Don’t ask! A real highlight of the Alaska trip was a three-day stop in Haines, in the north end of the Inside Passage. Think the 1990s TV series Northern Exposure. The look and vibe of the town was as depicted as Cicely, Alaska in that show. No traffic lights; no traffic, for that matter. A general store/coffee house/meeting place is the hub for information and town gossip. We ate at the best restaurant in Haines, a pizzeria of all things, and it was Northern Exposure! One morning, we were able to take a rafting trip on the Chilkat River through the bald eagle preserve. This majestic bird, emblem of our country, was something to behold close up. As the raft gently floated by the small islands in the middle of the river, the eagles hung out, waiting to fish. We had hoped to see bears and moose, but alas, that was not to be. We looked for these animals the whole trip. My husband joked that we saw one bear: it was in a glass case in the Juneau airport. The people in Haines (and everywhere we went) were unbelievably warm and friendly. Upon arriving in this small town, we decided to hike down the hill to check out the town. We stopped into a few stores, talked with local folks, and got the lay of the land. After a long descent and a trek of a couple of hours, we were faced with climbing back up the hill to our apartment. Bob said to me “I can’t make it up that hill, I’m too tired”. I say, “No problem.” I see a young woman carrying groceries in a parking lot and politely tell her my husband is too fatigued to walk up the hill. Could she please give us a ride? Sure! Hop in! Where in America can you do that? This was the beginning of our fast friendship with Rose. We met Rose the next day for coffee and came to learn that she was a fellow Michigander. The best part: She owns Shoreline Wild Salmon, a company that line-catches Alaskan fish to ship to your door. Rose was excited to learn that I was in the food business too, so we had lots to talk about. Rose told us that she began the salmon fishery with two partners in 2016. The importance of their work is that all of the fish are caught by hook and line (trolling) as opposed to net fishing. Each fish is individually handled– caught, gutted, filleted and packaged immediately, in order to maintain ultimate freshness. (To learn how the company began, click here and read about this fantastic business.) Rose taught us what the different salmon species are, from best to worst: silver/coho, king, sockeye, chum and pink. That rating is based on flavor and texture. Meeting Rose was a real adventure. I loved her enthusiasm for Alaska and seeing what living there was like through her eyes. I’m using delicious Coho salmon from Shoreline Wild Salmon for my recipe today. I decided to use ingredients that are grown and foraged around Alaska. Barley is one of the few grains grown in that state. Also, oregano and cranberries proliferate in the Alaskan climate. Mushrooms are one of several plants foraged there. Feel free to pair this salmon with any starch or vegetable. Because of its simple preparation, it goes with almost anything. Tell us here at The Insider if you’ve enjoyed wild-caught salmon and how you prepared it. And don’t forget about the Herculean effort that went into having a hook and line fish gracing your dinner table! Grilled Alaskan Salmon with Mushroom Barley Pilaf Yield: 4 servings 1 1/4 lb. fresh Alaskan king or coho salmon filet Dry rub: 1 tsp. kosher salt 1 tsp. brown sugar 1/2 tsp. coarse ground black pepper 1/2 tsp. paprika 1/2 tsp. dried thyme 1/2 tsp. dry mustard Barley Pilaf: 3 Tbsp. vegetable oil 1/2 c. small diced onions 2 garlic cloves, minced 6 oz. crimini mushrooms, sliced thin 3/4 c. pearl barley 1/2 tsp. salt 2 c. vegetable stock, plus more if needed 1/4 c. chopped dried cranberries 2 Tbsp. fresh chopped oregano or parsley 1/4 tsp. fresh ground black pepper 1-2 Tbsp. unsalted butter In a medium saucepan, sauté the onions and garlic over moderate heat until the onions are translucent, about 4-5 minutes.  Add the mushrooms. Continue cooking until the mushrooms are softened, about 7-8 minutes.  Add the barley and salt.  Cook for 1 more minute. Pour in the stock. Bring to a boil.  Turn down to a low simmer; cover.  Cook barley until soft, about 45-50 minutes. Stir occasionally adding additional stock if the pan is dry. Blend in the cranberries, fresh herbs, and black pepper. Adjust the seasoning to taste. While the barley is cooking, combine the dry rub ingredients in a small bowl. Pat the salmon filet dry.  Rub the seasoning all over the fish, pressing into the flesh.  Allow to sit at room temperature for 30 minutes. Heat grill to moderately high. Place the salmon, skin side up on the grill. Cook for about 5 minutes. Carefully turn over. Cook until translucent in the center, about  4 more minutes. Serve skin side down. Melt butter on top of the fish so it glistens. To serve: place a mound of pilaf on each plate. Set a piece of salmon on top of the barley. Sprinkle with additional chopped herbs if desired. NOTE: The cook time is very tentative with variables to consider. Had the fish come to room temperature right before cooking? How thick is the filet? How hot is your grill? My advice: watch it carefully! Bonnie Fishman attended the Cordon Bleu Cookery School in London. Later, she owned and operated Bonnie’s Patisserie in Southfield, Mich. and Bonnie’s Kitchen and Catering in Bloomfield Hills, Mich. She has taught cooking for over 35 years and created hundreds of recipes. She is now living in Northern California.

By Naomi Serviss / New York City The holidays are snowballing. Time is collapsing. Seasons are colliding. One minute, pumpkin innards are being scooped out, seeds roasting willy-nilly, and in the next blink, the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree is sparking up the night sky. Huzzah! That time of year (again!) when feigned goodwill morphs into actual compassion and you pay it forward. Let the festivities commence! The neon lights of Broadway! Decorations in the pedigree stores barter for sidewalkers’ focus. Brightly decked out fanciful, futuristic Fifth Avenue artful window displays draw a thick crowd, not missing a single fantasy scape lest their FOMO kicks in. What happened to our collective Covid anxiety? Six feet apart and all that jazz? I still board public buses masked. Not everyone does, as is each one’s wont. Not a big deal. I’ll eat in outside restaurants (when called for). But indoor dining doesn’t terrify anymore. Purposefully walking on the mean (rarely clean) streets and avenues, I wear my mask correctly and take cleansing breaths. I’m in the midtown minority, and I worry about all those unprotected people. (Truthfully, I don’t worry, just stay away from their full-frontal faces.) Waiting in line to enter a Broadway matinee, I’m a rarity in my eye-catchy neon yellow KN95. People don’t take heed of our latest heads-up on the viral front from health professionals. How many caught something at their Thanksgiving celebration? It’s not just Covid; it’s a virus roulette wheel this time of year. Flu, cold, RSV, and who knows what is on the horizon? Another positive about the mask now that the weather is frigid (to me). It keeps my face warm, and calms down my jumpy Trigeminal nerve. I see a lot of theater And would never go unmasked. Rescinding the mask requirement was one of the stupidest things the industry has done. Obvious reason? More tickets will be sold to those who shunned mask-wearing many months ago. Now, before performances, ushers emphasize the word RECOMMEND that masks be worn. Not a mandate. So far, I’ve been lucky and theater fans To my right and left have (mostly) been masked… I recently found myself at a performance of Into the Woods which was my fourth (yes, fourth!) time. My second-row center seat was within spitting distance of the cast members. Hey, spit happens. This ticket was purchased from the crème de crème of discount houses, TDF (Theatre Development Fund). It’s the same organization that operates the TKTS Booth on 47th & Broadway. Anyone can join (reasonably priced) and members can purchase $50 tickets online. “Circling back” (an officious term I use ironically) to Into the Woods, I noticed the woman on my right was masked and she started a conversation. With that I can deal, I rationalized, hoping she would just hush. The empty left seat was finally filled by a short-haired young woman. Sans mask. This fourth time around (seeing the show) didn’t thrill me like the other three. Nothing wrong with it, but once you see original cast members in this Sondheim gem, it’s hard to be swept away. Still, the music, those lyrics are stellar, genius, all the superlatives. No spoilers, but you might never view fairy tales the same way. At the end of Act I, the woman on my right said, “What, no finale, no bows?” Exasperated I snapped. “That’s just the first act! You said you knew the play! A nanosecond later I took a hike at intermission. I get why this city is a magnet. And there’s a collective sigh of relief (misguided) that we beat Covid. So they keep coming. Trains, planes, buses and cars. Midtown tourists teeter on towering boot heels maskless and giddy with Gotham fever. Spreading their green on holiday bargains, returning crowds may not take the subway, but Covid be damned! Tourists are flooding souvenir shops, vying for Phantom tickets, and politely turning down tour bus pitchmen’s pitches. Something about this city, now that winter’s mantle is a cold snap away, that’s fish bait to out-of-towners, my informal poll concluded. Hotels, restaurants, theaters, museums, the whole nine yards, are vying for your approval. And attendance! A city’s scent beckons or repels. These next couple of months should bode well. Now, as 50-degree days flirt before winter’s frosting, the aromas aren’t even that bad. The roasted peanut air around the cart wafts and permeates my yellow KN95 mask. Bigtime. They used to magnetize my son, Ben, as well. Since a pre-tween, he and my daughter Emmy learned how to navigate the subway system (not unaccompanied). They’re familiar with the seasonal smells. Especially summer’s bouquet. But something about the sweet-chestnut-roasting air beckons like in Miracle on 34th Street. (Black and white version.) I might have conjured up that scene. Vendors’ frosty hawking of navy and burgundy wool berets to complement brown faux leather gloves, pom-pom hats (which, imho, should be worn only by those under 30), “designer” knockoff bags and scarves are there for your haggling. And you’re supposed to haggle! Remember when Covid-coping turned us into hermits? I look upon those months nostalgically, when we knew to stay put and order in. I’m not pining, merely reporting observations. It’s harder now, especially if you’re prone to S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Days gloom early. By 3 p.m., inside lights flick on. the ache of a dark void. I know! Maybe shopping would make it go away! Besides, it’s in the Christmas-Hanukkah-Kwanzaa (your choice) spirit to consume mass quantities of everything! The constant barrage of commercials on our assorted devices (boy, was Kurt Vonnegut prescient or what?), People think if they just buy that one special gift for, say, a friend, neighbor, brother or daughter, they will love you more. Magic realism. But we do get joy when the right gift works out. And by gift, I mean a coupon book created by my then-eight-year-old son offering myriad tasks he would undertake upon receipt. The best gifts I’ve ever received were the gifts of time. Hallmark precious time with my kids. Without the treacly flick. When we gather with loved ones, joy gets inspired. It’s a gut thing, intertwined deep connections Formed over decades with Family of Origin and Family of Choice. Times Square Disney characters persuade gleeful tourists to pose goofily with their kids. Caricaturists have returned with a vengeance, clogging sidewalk thoroughfares and wooing potential marks with pen and ink. The Ladies Who Lunch, the families who brunch, the maskless (from everywhere) souvenir-seekers, the matinee audiences— all fired up and ready to go. Broadway audiences are cautiously inching back despite exorbitant prices for Music Man. How do they get away with $400 seats? Because it’s Hugh Jackman! Phantom is closing in January. Who doesn’t want to see the chandelier fall one more time? Ha! Good luck getting a ticket. Holiday hoopla aside, some bare-faced tourists and locals don’t grasp the fact that: COVID ISN’T OVER! Even when common sense dictates wearing protection, scores of maskless, midtown shufflers are looking for trouble. With a capital T. Naomi Serviss is a New York-based award-winning journalist whose work has been published in The New York Times, Newsday, The Philadelphia Inquirer, Highroads (AAA magazine), in-flight publications, spa and travel magazines and websites, including BroadwayWorld.com

One film journalist’s stream-of-consciousness cinematic journey through the pandemic, Part 109 By Laurence Lerman / New York City The studios’ annual surge of their most distinguished films continues in December, the titles that they are angling to snatch up nominations for the awards season that culminates on Sunday, March 12, with the 95th Academy Awards. The film industry trade papers have been going to town the past two weeks over the poor box office performances of a number of these prestige pictures. Leading the pack of disappointments is the journalism drama She Said, a well-reviewed look at the New York Times reporters who helped to expose disgraced movie mogul Harvey Weinstein’s decades of sexual harassment and assault. The Universal Pictures release opened on November 18 in 2,022 theaters to a dismal $2.2 million at the box office, which ranks as one of the worst openings for a major studio release in history. A handful of other possible Oscar contenders have also flopped or, at best, underperformed. The acclaimed classical music drama Tár starring Cate Blanchett has barely made $5 million after seven weeks of release. Triangle of Sadness, a satirical look at the ultra-rich, has only made $4 million since its opening in mid-October. Even the lauded coming-of-age drama Armageddon Time has only rung up a barely-there $1.8 million after a month in theaters. Meanwhile, the latest Marvel Studios release, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, is doing a bang-up job on the big screen, having rung up $304 million domestically since its release on November 11 in 4,400 theaters. Clearly, non-fantastical, non-franchise, non-superhero, non-special effects films are not bringing in the adult audiences that the studios were expecting. The reasons include everything from the fact that older audiences continue to have Covid fears, to a poor economic climate where a night at the movies is no longer a nominal expense, to the perception that “adult dramas” are just as satisfying to stream as they are to see in a theater. There is no single answer, but one thing is for sure: studios rely on audiences and box office returns to inform them on what films to make, and if “prestige” films aren’t delivering in the theaters, then the studios aren’t going to green-light them for the theaters. Yikes! But this year, the studios hoitiest and toitiest titles are still on deck for December. The batch Reel Streaming is highlighting here includes the latest films from heavy-hitting previous Oscar winners James Cameron (Titanic) and Sam Mendes (American Beauty), art house auteurs Darren Aronofsky (Mother!) and Scott Cooper (Antlers), and esteemed female filmmakers Sarah Polley (Away From Her) and Joanna Hogg (The Souvenir). The early critical buzz on the ten films is strong and there is no doubt they are all of the highest production quality. But apart from Cameron’s long-awaited sequel to Avatar, are they going to lure people out of their homes? Hollywood, industry analysts, a curious public, and the owners of the 6,000-plus theaters in the U.S. anxiously await. Women Talking (Dec. 2) Sarah Polley wrote and directed this adaption of fellow Canadian Miriam Toew’s 2018 novel by the same name about women in a religious colony who have a crisis of faith following a series of sexual assaults by men in the community. A powerhouse cast includes Frances McDormand, Claire Foy, Judith Ivey, Jessie Buckley and Rooney Mara. The Eternal Daughter (Dec. 2) In this ghost story from acclaimed English filmmaker Joanna Hogg (Exhibition), a middle-aged artist and her elderly mother must confront long-buried secrets when they return to their former family home, a once-grand manor that has become a nearly vacant hotel brimming with mystery. The always-fine Tilda Swinton stars. Emancipation (Dec. 2) A runaway slave embarks on a perilous journey through the swamps of Louisiana to reunite with his family in this thriller inspired by a true story. Veteran action/thriller filmmaker Antoine Fuqua (The Magnificent Seven, The Equalizer) directs and Will Smith returns in his first film to be released since his on-stage assault on comedian Chris Rock in March during the 2022 Academy Awards. Empire of Light (Dec. 9) From writer/director Sam Mendes comes this romantic drama set in an English coastal town in the early 1980s, in which a beautiful old movie house is the backdrop for an unlikely love story. The indispensable Olivia Colman and Colin Firth star. The Whale (Dec. 9) The latest film from the provocative Darren Aronofsky focuses on a 600-pound man who is unable to leave his apartment and his attempts to reconnect with his estranged teenage daughter. A festival favorite, the movie stars a game Brendan Fraser and a whole lot of prosthetic bodywear. Avatar: The Way of Water (Dec. 16) James Cameron’s follow-up to his 2009 blockbuster Avatar arrives equipped with state-of-the-art sound and vision technology and a subaqueous story that’s set more than a decade after the events of the first film. Original Avatar stars Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana and Sigourney Weaver are joined by newbies Kate Winslet, Cliff Curtis and Edie Falco for what is sure to be a razzle-dazzle, 3D-fueled production. I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Dec. 23) Naomie Ackie stars as Whitney Houston in this biopic on the soulful pop legend. Stanley Tucci and Tamara Tunie co-star as Clive Davis, the record honcho who molded her career, and Cissy Houston, her gospel-singing mother, respectively. Kasi Lemmons (Harriet) directs. The Pale Blue Eye (Dec. 23) At West Point in 1830, a world-weary detective hired to discreetly investigate the gruesome murder of a cadet enlists another cadet to help unravel the case—a young man who the world would later come to know as Edgar Allan Poe. Scott Cooper directs and Christian Bale, Gillian Anderson and Harry Melling star in what has been described as a “horror-tinged crime mystery.” Living (Dec. 23) Bill Nighy plays a post-WWII London civil servant whose great ambition, after he receives a terminal diagnosis, is to build a playground. South African filmmaker Oliver Hermanus directs this British remake of Akira Kurosawa’s 1952 Ikiru from a script written by the great novelist Kazuo Ishiguro of Remains of the Day fame. Babylon (Dec. 23) Brad Pitt and Margot Robbie lead the beautiful people in this tale of ambition and excess in late 1920s Hollywood, the time when the industry was transitioning from silent films to talking pictures. This film marks writer/director Damien Chazelle’s second look at the moviemaking capitol following his 2016 hit La La Land. Laurence Lerman is a film journalist, former editor of Video Business--Variety's DVD trade publication--and husband to The Insider's own Gwen Cooper. Over the course of his career he has conducted one-on-one interviews with just about every major director working today, including Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino, Clint Eastwood, Kathryn Bigelow, Ridley Scott, Walter Hill, Spike Lee, and Werner Herzog, among numerous others. Once James Cameron specifically requested an interview with Laurence by name, which his wife still likes to brag about. Most recently, he is the co-founder and editor-in-chief of the online review site DiscDish.com.

By Jessie Seigel / Washington, D.C. November 21, 2022 To: Attorney General Merrick Garland, U.S. Dept. of Justice From: Jessica Seigel, Citizen You have a lot of ’splaining to do, sir! You have repeatedly promised that DOJ “will follow the facts wherever they lead” and that “no person is above the law in this country.” Nice words. But your actions suggest otherwise. I refer to your announcement last Friday that you are appointing a special counsel to take over DOJ’s investigations into the interference with the transfer of power after the 2020 presidential election, as well as the ongoing investigation involving classified documents and other presidential records, and the possible obstruction of that investigation, described in court filings in the Southern District of Florida. The handing off of your responsibility for these matters to a special counsel at this juncture is, at best, myopic; at worst, a cowardly abdication. For almost two years, constitutional lawyers, scholars, and legal commentators have questioned the silence of the Department of Justice, wondered whether it intended to investigate more than the foot soldiers of the Jan. 6 attack, puzzled over why DOJ seemed only to be following leads initiated by the House Jan. 6 committee, and expressed the hope that—despite outward appearances—DOJ was nevertheless investigating those people at the top who organized the January 6 insurrection. When the F.B.I. finally served its warrant at Mar-a-Lago to retrieve the classified and other documents which former President Trump had absconded with, it was thought that now—finally—DOJ, under your leadership, was taking some independent action. And then you announced this appointment. As The Nation’s justice correspondent, Elie Mystal, pointed out on MSNBC, if you were going to appoint a special counsel, you could have done it 18 months ago. Your stated reason for doing so now—that Donald Trump has announced he is running for president in 2024 and that President Biden likely will do so—is a thin, specious excuse for passing the buck. As Mystal said, “This idea that Trump was going to be a candidate for office is not a new development in the case.” And the notion that Trumpists are suddenly going to accept this investigation of Donald Trump as legitimate and not partisan just because a special counsel conducts it is laughable. Furthermore, the DOJ had no qualms about investigating –or should I say reinvestigating—then presidential candidate Hillary Clinton only a few weeks before a presidential election. But when Trump merely declares his candidacy—two years before an election—that requires your investigation to be handed off to a special counsel? With the delay such action will likely entail even if the new special counsel does not start again from scratch? Trump’s declaration of his candidacy should not in any way have changed his status as merely another citizen of the United States. But if this appointment is your idea of “no person being above the law,” maybe I should rob a bank and immediately declare my candidacy for president. Following the facts and the law wherever they lead without regard to what people will say about you and the DOJ would have demonstrated true integrity. Instead, by trying to maintain an image of being purer than Caesar’s wife, you may well be aiding those who are working to destroy the rule of law and end American democracy. While presumably your goal in appointing a special counsel was to take politics out of the equation, the appointment was itself a political decision—one which favors Donald Trump by slowing down the investigative process, perhaps even allowing him to capture the White House in 2024 and quash the investigation altogether. Former Acting U.S. Solicitor General and current Georgetown law professor Neal Katyal told PBS that the current special counsel regulations—which Katyal himself drafted—are not meant for this situation where an investigation is underway, but to prevent a government cover-up where an attorney general might not be willing to investigate the president who had appointed him. As Katyal also said on MSNBC, you can’t avoid acting politically because if Smith says he wants to indict, you will still have to sign off on it. In addition, former Special Assistant Watergate Prosecutor Jill Wine-Banks told MSNBC that initially she was very angry about the appointment. She continues to maintain that there is no conflict requiring a special counsel. But, after reflection, she concedes that if the new special counsel keeps the current staff—who seem ready for trial, with “really experienced trial lawyers”—it won’t delay a possible indictment. On the other hand, Harvard Law professor emeritus Laurence Tribe, who at one point felt it was too late to appoint a special counsel, tweeted on November 19, “Now that I see the details, I think Garland has done exactly the right thing and that Smith is exactly the right prosecutor to take it on. Full speed ahead!” In later tweets, Tribe added: “Smith didn’t leave his job as a war crimes prosecutor in The Hague to preside over a non-case.” Tribe also argued that if Bill Barr’s Special Counsel John Durham couldn’t be removed by Merrick Garland, Garland’s Special Counsel “won’t be removable by a GOP president’s AG unless the regs are repealed.” Of course, if Trump regains power, with a GOP congress, those regulations will be repealed lickity split. These commentators seem to be attempting to find a bright side to your decision. I will acknowledge that Jack Smith, the man you have appointed, appears to have solid credentials, and a reputation for integrity. Admittedly, the fact Smith served as the head of the DOJ’s public integrity unit, prosecuting election crimes, and his stint at The Hague, investigating and prosecuting war crimes, is impressive. But when you were nominated in 2021, you had solid credentials and a reputation for integrity, as did Robert Mueller, who wrote a report on the investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election, but ultimately refused to take a stand—to state a conclusion or make a recommendation. Instead, Mueller threw his responsibility into the lap of Congress and to the mercy of then Trump Attorney General, William Barr. I have no option but to hope that Jack Smith has more steel in his spine than either you or Robert Mueller. But on the future of the investigation under Smith, I’m from Missouri: Show me. Political columnist Jessie Seigel had a long career as a government attorney in which she honed her analytic skills. She has also twice received an Artist’s Fellowship from the Washington, D.C. Commission on the Arts and Humanities for her fiction, and has been a finalist for a number of literary awards. In addition, Seigel is an associate editor at the Potomac Review, a reviewer for The Washington Independent Review of Books, and a dabbler in political cartoons at Daily Kos. Of this balance in her work between the analytic and the imaginative, Seigel jokes, “I guess my right and left brains are well-balanced.” More on and from Seigel can be found at The Adventurous Writer, https://www.jessieseigel.com.

NOVEMBER 2022 | SILURIAN NEWS What I Did During the Pandemic: A Q&A with Andrea Sachs Some of us languished during the COVID-19 pandemic, others took up serious cooking, while a few continued their usual writing or broadcast routines. Andrea Sachs, a 29-year veteran of Time magazine with virtually no background in digital publishing or technological expertise, launched a weekly online publication. She named it The Insider. It is now, to the best of her knowledge, “the world’s oldest pandemic magazine.” And perhaps the only. In keeping with the snappy vibe of The Insider (www.theinsider1.com), we conducted this Q&A via text messages. Silurian News: Hi. Are you ready? Andrea Sachs: Hi Aileen! Let’s go! Silurian News: First, tell me a little about your background. Andrea Sachs: Unlike a lot of journalists, I was late to the game. I was dazzled by the press, but I was too scared to apply to my junior high school newspaper. Same thing in college. I was an English major at the University of Michigan who didn’t know what to do professionally, so I made the disastrous decision to go to law school at Michigan. I knew from the first day it was a mistake, but I stuck it out for three unhappy years and three years of practice in Washington, D.C. That’s where I had a true epiphany that I should be a journalist. I went to Columbia J-School, spent a nanosecond at the women’s magazines, and then spent 29 years at Time magazine as a reporter. Home at last! Silurian News: How did you come upon the idea of a pandemic online publication? Andrea Sachs: From the first days of the pandemic, I wanted to cover it. A once in a century opportunity. Silurian News: How did you see it? Did you think it would look like the chock-full series of articles that it has become? Andrea Sachs: No! I was a total newbie to online publishing. It started out in March 2020 as daily emails to friends and family members. But it soon grew too large for that. The emails were crashing! Silurian News: So what new skills do you now have, and how did you come by them? Andrea Sachs: By April 2020, I knew I needed some tech help. I was lucky enough to be referred to a web consultant who introduced me to the glories of digital journalism. Matthew Nadelson is 39, half my age — I’m 70 — but it has been a fabulous collaborative effort. He’s a Steve Jobs type — had his own computer company at 15. He is the founder of Computer Camaraderie Corp. (ccc4me.com) in New York City. Silurian News: How did you gather your many contributors, and can you describe a few of them? The range is enormous. Andrea Sachs: At the beginning, I happily found many talented people I knew, both journalists and people who just love news, who were eager to write. The pandemic was such a lonely experience that I think a lot of people were eager to make that kind of connection. Later, as the word about The Insider spread, I started getting more inquiries from professional journalists about writing. Also, there have been some newspaper articles about The Insider, and that brought in a lot of new people. There have been dozens and dozens of contributors at this point, and I’m very grateful to all of them for keeping us rolling. Silurian News: What have been some of your favorite articles? Andrea Sachs: After nearly three years, that’s a tough one! Naturally, I like the stories that do best on the website. As for my own reporting, I’ve been fortunate to interview many people with COVID who have been very forthcoming. Silurian News: How many readers do you have now, and how do you see the publication evolving, especially since you have no advertising but are distributing it free? Andrea Sachs: We’ve had 30,000 unique visitors nationwide. We are still building momentum — we’re not the New York Times but The Little Engine That Could. We’re at a stage now of hopefully getting some advertising or turning to a subscription model. But we have no intention of stopping anytime soon! I strongly believe that those of us who are weathering the pandemic — I call us “Generation P” — have been unified by the experience and are still eager to ponder the challenges together. Silurian News: I admire your persistence. But do you ever think about having a little more free time, or returning to the graduate studies in literature that you were pursuing just as the pandemic hit? Andrea Sachs: Not for a second! This is a labor of love. At the beginning of the pandemic, I was working on a graduate degree in English at Hunter and enjoying myself. But what dusty old novel could compare with present-day current events? Once a journalist, always a journalist! Silurian News: Do you think there will be an end to COVID? Or at least a taming of it, like the flu? Andrea Sachs: The latter is the hope, I’d say, but it sure hasn’t arrived yet. I live on the upper west side of Manhattan, and it’s like Mardi Gras around here — restaurants bursting to the seams with maskless diners. But just because we’re tired of COVID doesn’t mean COVID is tired of us. Every week, I hear about someone else — or a whole family — with COVID. Personally, I’m still being very careful. Silurian News: You’ve called The Insider “the world’s oldest pandemic magazine.” Is it also the only, or have others followed in your footsteps? Andrea Sachs: I’ve never heard of another publication like ours, but I may be wrong. Silurian News: Anything else you’d like an audience of journalists to know about your adventure in online publishing? Andrea Sachs: When I started this, I was 100% a print journalist, looking down my nose at digital journalism. I was so wrong! There are so many advantages to doing this — we can break into the news cycle on a moment’s notice if something happens. We can find out in real time how different stories are doing, and what else we should try. And when I was at Time, if you made an error in the magazine, it was to your eternal shame, because it would live on in print forever. Now, we can correct errors with a few keystrokes. I’d encourage other diehard print people to test the water! You might just like it. Silurian News: Thanks for the good advice, and best of luck with your brave endeavor!

By Bonnie Fishman / San Francisco Bay Area There is something very special about Thanksgiving week. The anticipation of family and friends getting together on this truly great American holiday, one of few nonreligious ones at that. I love the homey, comforting feeling this holiday evokes. The change in the weather and the days getting shorter add to that cozy atmosphere. Thanksgiving is the beginning of the many gatherings people will attend, continuing through the end of the year. I remember back in the early ’70s when I was at the University of Michigan and all of my high-school friends were back in town for the holiday weekend. It was a reunion. I watched my kids do the same thing when they were in college. The constant coming and going of young people. It was invigorating hearing the stories of the first semester of the school year from them. From 1980-2008, when I owned my patisserie and gourmet food shops, I could never host Thanksgiving at my house because the day before was the busiest business day of the year. By Thursday morning, I was in a heap and could barely drag myself to my sister’s for dinner. A Thanksgiving table would be lacking if there weren’t some type of winter squash. It screams fall table. The autumn color-that deep orange-fits right in with the November color scheme. Squash has been present in the American indigenous diet for centuries. There are historical records of squash having been foraged and later cultivated as far back as 12,000 years ago in all of the Americas. It is one of the original foods that sustained the native population and was eventually introduced to the Pilgrims in the Plymouth colony in 1620 when the Wampanoag tribe fed it to the starving settlers. Winter squash was served at the first Thanksgiving meal in 1621. Squash, a relative of the pumpkin, grow on vines on the ground, sprawling all over the garden, beginning with beautiful blossoms. They are called winter squash because, unlike summer squash like zucchini, they have a thick outer skin and rind which allows them to keep for long periods of time out of refrigeration. It’s a nice vegetable to have sitting in your pantry or on your counter when you are inspired to add it to your meal. Here in the United States, we seem to cook winter squash only in the fall and winter months. I am personally going to make an effort to serve it year-round, since it is such a versatile vegetable. You can roast, bake, sauté, stew, puree, or mash winter squash. It can be used in soups, stews, pastas or even desserts. It is high in fiber and very rich in antioxidants, potassium, vitamins C and E, and Beta-carotene. Nowadays, being fully retired, besides anticipating the holiday, I can thoroughly enjoy the menu planning, cooking, table setting, and hosting. This year, I’m having a small group. Most of my family will be celebrating in other parts of the country. We’ve chosen to “take in” those without a place to go. The effort for 6 people is the same as for 16, in truth. One still needs to prepare the bird, stuffing, cranberries, potatoes, a green vegetable, winter squash, pies, and so on. I pace myself by doing a lot of the prep work a few days before the big meal. Today’s recipe has some benefits, besides being delicious. You can make it a couple of days ahead, keep it in the fridge, and microwave it to heat it through. No need to clog up the already crowded oven. The preparation is a nod to my Midwest roots featuring apples and maple syrup. A cooking note: you might be inclined to cook the squash in a microwave because it is easier. Yes, that’s true, but you will lose out on the depth of flavor that develops when it is baked in the oven. Feel free to substitute the apples with pears or use brown sugar instead of the syrup. It will all turn out great anyway. Tell us here at The Insider what you are thankful for this holiday season. I am personally filled with gratitude every day. I look at what I have, not what I don’t. Butternut Squash with Sautéed Apples Yield: 8-10 servings 1 2 1/2-3 lb. butternut squash 1 oz. butter 2 lg. firm tart apples, such as Fuji, Gala, or Honeycrisp, peeled, cored and cut into 1/4” slices 1-2 oz. apple brandy (optional) 1/4 c. pure maple syrup 1/2 tsp. vanilla 1/2 tsp. salt 1/4 tsp. black pepper Preheat oven to 400°. Line a baking sheet with foil. Spray with pan release. Reserve. Cut the squash lengthwise in half. Scoop out and discard the seeds. Place the squash cut-side down on the foil. Bake for 40-45 minutes, or until the thickest part is very tender when pierced with a knife. Cool enough to handle. While the squash is cooking, prepare the apples. In a large skillet over high heat, melt the butter. When foaming, add the apple slices. Cook over moderately high heat for about 5 minutes, until the apples are just tender and begin to brown. If adding brandy, pour it in the pan and allow the alcohol to evaporate for about 30 seconds. Remove from heat. Pour on the maple syrup and vanilla. Peel the skin off the squash using a sharp knife. Cut the flesh into chunks and put in a bowl. Mash up the squash using the back of a large spoon. (I do not recommend using a food processor because the end result will be over pureed and resemble baby food.) Fold the apples into the squash. Season with salt and pepper. Transfer to your serving dish, cover, and refrigerate until needed. Microwave to reheat. Bonnie Fishman attended the Cordon Bleu Cookery School in London. Later, she owned and operated Bonnie’s Patisserie in Southfield, Mich. and Bonnie’s Kitchen and Catering in Bloomfield Hills, Mich. She has taught cooking for over 35 years and created hundreds of recipes. She is now living in Northern California.

The Insider: Hi Andrea! Welcome back to The Insider. Andrea Kwok: Hi Andrea, thank you! Happy to be back. The Insider: I thought today we might talk about how the non-marathon crowd can safely walk for exercise and not overdo it. Andrea Kwok: Sure! I’ve noticed that during the pandemic, there has been an increase in walking-related aches and pains, so this is a great topic. The Insider: So you see this among your patients? Andrea Kwok: Yes. During the initial lockdown, I think many people were looking for ways to stay active. Gyms were closed, and New York City apartments are not particularly spacious or conducive to physical activities. The most accessible solution seemed to be getting outside and taking long walks. For most, this was a great addition to their routine and not problematic. But for some who had previously been fairly sedentary, the rapid increase in activity level caused various joint and muscle pains. The Insider: Many people are now keeping track of how far they walk on devices like iPhones, and trying to up their numbers all the time. Good strategy? Andrea Kwok: When done correctly, yes! Having a daily step goal is a great way to motivate yourself to maintain a healthy level of activity. However, it’s important to set goals that are right for each individual. And if you are trying to increase your activity, tracking steps, heart rate, etc. on a device is a good way to make sure you are progressing safely and appropriately. The Insider: Any advice about which devices are best and most accurate? Andrea Kwok: There are so many options now, and in my experience all fairly accurate. At least accurate enough for general use. The wearable devices are likely more accurate than the trackers on handheld devices like smartphones. The Insider: What would be an example of wearable devices? Andrea Kwok: Most commonly I see the wrist devices. They look like digital watches or plastic bracelets. Again, there are many brands that all offer slightly different features. They typically involve a subscription to a service which continuously tracks your movement and other health indicators. The Insider: Is heart monitoring something that the average exercise walker should be doing? Andrea Kwok: It’s not imperative, and not particularly helpful unless you know what you’re looking for. Anyone with a cardiac history may have been given guidelines from their doctor, in which case that feature would be useful. If a trainer or another professional has given you target heart rate ranges for exercise, it would be useful in that case as well. The Insider: Do you have advice about setting reasonable goals for counting steps? Andrea Kwok: It seems like 10,000 steps is a widely used target. That equates to roughly 5 miles. Over the course of the day for healthy and moderately active individuals, this is appropriate. If you’re not especially active and you’ve just started using a step-counting device, I’d recommend wearing it for a few days and going through your normal routine to see what your current step count is. I wouldn’t add much more than 2,000 steps (or one mile) per day, just to avoid overdoing it. The Insider: Is it important to spread that out over the day, or do you suggest long-distance walks? Andrea Kwok: Either is fine, depending on your goals and your current fitness level. The Insider: Being a physical therapist, I’m sure you see the people who have overdone it! Andrea Kwok: I certainly have. The Insider: What kind of injuries do they typically have? Andrea Kwok: Either joint pain or some form of soft tissue injury like tendinitis or muscle strain. Hips, knees, or feet are common sites for pain, as you might expect. However, low back pain after prolonged walking is also common. The Insider: Do you find that related to what kind of shoes people are wearing? Are there common mistakes? Andrea Kwok: Yes, footwear is definitely important if you are doing a lot of walking. Shoes should fit well: not too tight or too loose. They should be supportive near the arch of the foot, not totally flat. They should also have some cushioning for shock absorption. The Insider: Are there things that a walker can do at home to make sure they don’t end up being a PT patient? Not trying to take business away from you, I swear! Andrea Kwok: (Laughs.) Yes. It is a little challenging to generalize a preventative program for everyone, as fitness level, health complications, and goals vary. I think the most important thing to consider is the gradual buildup of your walking program. However, a combination of stretching and light strengthening activities would be additionally helpful in avoiding injury. The Insider: Can you please advise Insider readers about specific stretching and strengthening exercises? Andrea Kwok: Sure. I will give one stretch, one hip strength exercise, and one abdominal strength exercise. Abdominal or core strength is more important with repetitive activity than most people realize. Please keep in mind that these exercises are appropriate for most, but not all. If you have any injury or condition that prevents safe performance of these movements, or if you have pain as you attempt these exercises, discontinue and consult a medical professional before proceeding. Three Exercises for Walkers Demonstrated by Physical Therapist Andrea Kwok Exercise #1: Calf Stretch Stand with one foot ahead of the other facing a wall, hands on the wall for balance. Keep your back heel down and bend your front knee, leaning toward the wall until you feel a stretch in your back calf. Hold 30 seconds and repeat 3 times on each side. Exercise #2: Hip Strength Stand at a wall with your feet together, hands on the wall for balance (you can also use a countertop). Position 1: Bend one knee, keeping your thigh in line with the opposite leg. Position 2: Lift your bent leg out to the side about 45 degrees. Return to position 1 and repeat 10 times on each side. Perform 2-3 sets of 10. Exercise #3: Abdominal Bracing Lie flat on your back on the floor or in a bed. Bend one knee up so your hip and knee are bent 90 degrees. Press both hands gently against your upright thigh, resisting by tensing your abdominal muscles. Hold 10 seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times on each side. The Insider: I wonder if your advice for exercise runners would be the same, or whether there are particular cautions and techniques for runners. Andrea Kwok: Running is a higher impact activity than walking, and body mechanics will change slightly. However, the repetitive aspect is the same. The basic concepts and considerations would be the same: importance of proper footwear, importance of appropriate training schedule, and balance of strengthening and stretching exercise as an adjunct. However, the exercises I would give a runner are more dynamic than those I am recommending here for walkers. The Insider: What about people who have been runners, but are getting older. Is that a recipe for an injury? Should they start considering long-distance walking? Andrea Kwok: There are no absolutes one way or the other. Some people are able to continue running well past retirement age, while other people need to stop and find an alternative exercise in their 30s. It all depends on your body. If you’re consistently having pain during or after running, and have sought appropriate intervention to try to manage the pain but have not been successful, it may be time to switch to a lower impact activity like walking. The Insider: Last question, and one you may like! I would imagine that some people go into physical therapy at the first twinge, and others who resist mightily. If you’re an exercise walker, how do you know it’s time to get some PT? Andrea Kwok: That is a good question! I think we know when something is truly wrong with our bodies, so if a pain is so intense that you’re inclined to seek medical attention, please do. If it’s dull and nagging but is persisting beyond one to two weeks, I would get it checked out. If you notice that the pain is worsening, or is triggered more easily, that is also a sign to seek medical advice. I’d just like to note that not all states and insurance plans allow you to go directly to physical therapy for treatment. Some require a referral from a physician. The Insider: Thanks again for your great advice, Andrea! Andrea Kwok: My pleasure, happy walking! The Insider: Are you a big walker yourself? Andrea Kwok: As a New Yorker, I think I have to be! But yes, I enjoy going for walks and think that it is a terrific and accessible form of exercise. The Insider: Great! Many thanks! See you out on the trail! Andrea Kwok: Anytime! Andrea Kwok is the Clinical Director of SPEAR’s West 67th Street location. Andrea earned her Doctorate in Physical Therapy from the University of Delaware. During her time there, she completed a graduate assistantship in the Physical Therapy administrative office and served as class secretary. Prior to her graduate studies, Andrea graduated summa cum laude from Rutgers University with a major in exercise science and a minor in Spanish. Andrea was a founding member of the Rutgers club gymnastics team, where she served as team treasurer. In her professional career, Andrea has experience working with a wide range of orthopedic conditions, inclusive of sports injuries, mechanical pain, neurological pain, and post-operative rehabilitation. She pursues continuing education with a manual focus, intent on refining her ability to address joint, neurodynamic, and soft tissue dysfunction. Andrea is a large proponent of injury prevention and has participated in movement screenings for high school athletes, active adults, and local residents in the community. She is committed to restoring patient strength and function through targeted exercise and movement training.

By Emmy Serviss / Boston I think everyone knows by now that I love holidays. Any holiday! I love decorating, I love thematic movies, I love festive food, I love color coordination and I love the spirit that everyone gets into around the holidays. I love how red and pink suddenly go together on Valentine’s Day, not to mention the abundance of discount chocolate the day after! I love eating a green bagel while wearing a goofy green wig on St. Patrick’s Day. I love literally everything about Halloween, and I love all the beautiful Christmas music and cheesy rom-coms streaming on my steaming services. But right smack between my two favorite holidays is the one that gives me the most inner turmoil. Thanksgiving. To be clear, I do NOT love how the pilgrims treated the Native Americans, stole their land and committed atrocities – but that’s a different article. I DO love what Thanksgiving has come to represent in the more recent decades. Spending time with family and being thankful for what we have in our lives. (And cooking a big delicious meal!) And that family can be your immediate family, your extended family, your close-knit friend group, your community, or you and your four cats. Family doesn’t have to mean blood – your family is whomever you choose. Like most holidays as a kid, my parents and brother weren’t AS excited about them as I was. We had a handful of Thanksgiving decorations, I watched the Macy’s parade faithfully and my mom cooked the traditional components every year until I graduated from college. But then my persistent enthusiasm moved to the west coast, and everyone else let the Thanksgiving spirit dim. Flying from the west coast back to New York was expensive, and since the rest of my family was ambivalent to the holiday, it didn’t seem worth it. So since 2004, I’ve become a Friendsgiving attendee primarily. Four Friendsgivings in Los Angeles, two in Oregon, and at least 10 while I’ve been in Boston. Every now and my family and I would be able to coordinate, and we would have a family Thanksgiving. In 2010 we were all in the Pacific Northwest and I cooked. In 2017 we were in Ohio, and my brother’s girlfriend (now wife!) cooked, and then again in 2019 while they were living in Mississippi. In 2020 during lockdown, I cooked a meal for my ex and myself, as an attempt at normalcy during “these trying times.” He was ambivalent at best. At worst, he was annoyed. In 2021 I stayed home and took the day to myself. It felt surprisingly okay. I was a little sad to not be with my family and to be recently(ish) single, but it was also nice to just take the day off and breathe. I was planning on doing the same thing this year, but I wasn’t as excited about being alone on Thanksgiving as I was last year. But yesterday I received a last-minute invite to spend the holiday with my mom’s childhood friend, who lives in a Boston suburb. She reached out, fully expecting me to already have plans, and I was surprised but ecstatic to have the invite! So while I may never have the traditional Thanksgiving with the big extended family, kid’s table, crazy uncle Bob and all the fixings, I think I have something better. I have the love of my family, despite us living in different states. I have the connections and communities that my family built. I have an endless support network of my friends across the world. I have a steady job, my apartment, my health and my cats. I even have a new special someone in my life! (More on that later) (Maybe) And for all that, I am thankful. Emmy Serviss is a Boston-based writer, actor and video editor. Once it is safe to return to live theater, you can find her performing with ComedySportz Boston and the sketch group SUZZY. When not on the stage, Emmy enjoys indulging in her new pandemic hobbies, laughing way too loudly and counting the days until Halloween.

By Victoria Rolfe / Red Hook, N.Y. Hang on to your Santa hats here, folks. I’m about to go on a soap box rant. Black Friday. Just hearing those two words makes my skin crawl. To me it represents all that is wrong with our society. It is all the blackness of our world boiled down into one hideous day. Of course, complaining about the commercialism of the holiday season is nothing new; Charlie Brown so famously did so in that Peanuts special over six decades ago. But the commercialism that he was complaining about back then seems quaint in today’s world. And of course, it’s not just holiday shopping I’m talking about– it’s the rampant materialism that I have observed insidiously creeping into our culture over the decades that I have been on this planet. Being a frugal person who tries to live a simple life and teach others to live within their means and save their money, I am appalled by the “Buy now, spend later” mindset that has become the norm today. It’s so easy to whip out the credit card with nary a thought to the bills that will come due in January. Banks and retailers alike are so generous in their “offers” to allow you to buy merch now and worry about paying for it in the future. There is layaway, Venmo, Apple Pay, PayPal, Google Wallet, 5 Easy Payments plans and a myriad of other ways to get you to part with your money “painlessly” (at least for now). Most people in today’s world go about their everyday lives spending far more than people did when I was young (and than I do even now). They think nothing of daily purchases of coffee, snacks, and fast food. They buy (what used to be free) water in bottles. They eat out at restaurants on a regular basis. They buy cars they can’t afford and pay them off over the years (with interest). They buy new clothes, furniture, gadgets, and decor, get their nails painted (and whatever else they want) as the mood strikes. At the risk of sounding very old (Yikes! I guess I am!), back in my day, people made do with what they had and usually only made a purchase when a real need arose. And our needs and wants were somewhat simpler at that. Most of the things that people consider “needs” today didn’t even exist, or were luxurious wants back them; computers, cell phones, big houses, fancy kitchen gadgets, Alexa, giant flat screen TV’s, and the like. I’m not saying you don’t need a cell phone in today’s world, but do you need to continually upgrade to the latest model? Which leads me back to the holidays, gift giving, and the epitome of all that spending…Black Friday! Yes, of course, presents are a part of the winter holidays. It’s lovely to give some tokens of esteem to our family and friends. It brings joy to delight the little ones with some special surprises. But Black Friday represents to me just how out of hand all the spending has gotten, not just at holiday time, but in our lives in general. That tradition represents to me that the bottom line in our society today is money. Profit and the all-powerful dollar rule the world. And We the People have gotten sucked right into it all. Bargains and sales galore have gotten people out there to spend, spend, spend! And that’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown. The frenzy of it all is so horrifying. The crowds, the pushing and shoving. It’s just so ugly. People have been trampled to death for this! And for what? To get a bargain on a TV? To get the latest toy? To “save” a few bucks? I’m not even sure they are saving much money. I wonder how many of these shoppers even know what the normal price is on that “bargain” item they are grabbing? I’m pretty sure there is a fair amount of slashing the prices off of price tags that are inflated to begin with (did you really save 200 bucks on that item just because the sale sign says so?). Wouldn’t you actually save more money by just staying home and not spending? What kind of message are you sending to your children when you get up in the middle of the night to stand in line for that coveted special toy of the year? Are things that important? How long do the children really play with that must-have toy? How many of those toys are now sitting in our already over-full landfills? Where is all this stuff to go? It's ironic that this day occurs on the very day after we give thanks for all the blessings we have in our lives. Perhaps we should give a little more effort towards having gratitude for the things that we have, and a little less toward going out to acquire more, more, more. And, of course it’s not even just one day anymore. Now “Black Friday” starts on Thanksgiving Day and continues to Cyber Monday. When will all this madness end? Can we all just take a breath and relax? People who work in retail are now required to leave their family gatherings to get to work for the bargain-hunting crowds. Enough already! If you are a person of a certain age like me, you will remember that there used to be something called Blue Laws. They were meant to preserve Sunday as a day of religious observation. Retail businesses were required to be closed on that day. And so, people were basically forced to spend Sunday as a family day. Or at least as a day of not shopping. Now, I’m about as far from a religious person as you can get, but I kind of like having one day that is devoted to family (and not to spending). We have come so far from that. We can’t even have one day a year anymore. I say we try to remember the real reason for the season. Whatever religious holiday you happen to celebrate this time of year, or like me, your celebration predates the religious aspects assigned it, they all have certain things in common. It’s a celebration of love, warmth, light, friendship, and togetherness. Let’s dedicate the day after Thanksgiving to Green Friday. Instead of further endangering the environment with all that driving and shipping, polluting plastic and tree-killer packaging, buying all that stuff for the landfills, maybe we could devote the day to quietly appreciating our planet and all its life-affirming greenery. Relax and enjoy a cup of green (or any type ) of tea and reflect on the what the holidays really mean to you. What should it mean to your children? Perhaps you and your kids could spend the weekend working on a few homemade gifts for your loved ones to truly treasure. If you must go shopping, perhaps a quiet, environmentally friendly stroll around your hometown to support and get to know your local shop owners. And by staying away from all the frenzy at the mall, you will surely save yourself some of that other kind of green too. Together, one household at a time, let’s Make America Green Again. Wishing you a simple, peaceful, relaxing holiday season from the Rolfe home to yours. A long, long time ago, after the birth of her third child, Victoria made the life-changing decision to leave the work world behind and devote herself to being a full-time mom and homemaker. Along with her new title of Domestic Engineer, she took on the role of the Chief Home Economist for the family. At first, it was scary to try to live on less than half their income, but Victoria found that she not only rose to the challenge but thrived in the enjoyment of learning to live their best life with limited resources. She embraced this new frugal lifestyle of the at-home-mom and went on to add a fourth child to the mix. And their family was complete. Along the way she acquired a great deal of wisdom in how to not only avoid debt, but pay off mortgages early, buy cars for cash, travel on a shoe-string budget, and send kids to college with no student loans, all while also saving a tidy nest egg for retirement. She currently educates others in these skills through her business Bright Future. Now living the life of a modern homesteader in the Hudson Valley, New York, Victoria has added gardening to her list of skill sets as she grows many of her own vegetables to supplement her family’s primarily vegan diet. And she has come to realize that this waste-not, want-not, carbon-friendly, sustainable life she is living is not only benefiting her own family but also our Mother Earth, and that each of us has the obligation to live a responsibly sustainable life not only for ourselves, but for the greater good of our community, and our planet. We can all do this one household and backyard at a time. We are the world! And it all begins right at home. Victoria can be reached at brightfuture2budget4@gmail.com

Fred Plotkin, a pleasure activist and passionate Italy and culinary expert, speaks each Friday with leading people in the arts FRED PLOTKIN is one of America’s foremost experts on opera and has distinguished himself in many fields as a writer, speaker, consultant and as a compelling teacher. He is an expert on everything Italian, the person other so-called Italy experts turn to for definitive information.  Fred discovered the concept of "The Renaissance Man" as a small child and has devoted himself to pursuing that ideal as the central role of his life. In a “Public Lives” profile in The New York Times on August 30, 2002, Plotkin was described as "one of those New York word-of-mouth legends, known by the cognoscenti for his renaissance mastery of two seemingly separate disciplines: music and the food of Italy." In the same publication, on May 11, 2006, it was written that "Fred is a New Yorker, but has the soul of an Italian."

By John Rolfe / Red Hook, N.Y. Donald Trump is as predictable as any dark villain or monster that seems vanquished but keeps returning. Lord Voldemort from the Harry Potter films comes to mind, as does the humanoid Vecna of the Netflix hit Stranger Things. In fact, having watched an episode of Stranger Things immediately before Trump’s 2024 presidential run announcement, I was struck by a terrible thought: America has become a surreal but real-life horror series. Just when you think you are safe and life is returning to normal, the lights flicker, the walls shake, lightning cracks the sky, and the hideous creature appears yet again to wreak havoc and terror. Like Vecna, Trump is the product of a group of people who tried use him for world domination only to have him become uncontrollable and a grave danger to all. Vecna lives with his army in the Upside Down, a dire, dangerous alternate landscape that mirrors the real world the way MAGA/Trump World renders fiction as truth. Those who do Trump’s bidding usually end up in political, legal or even physical jeopardy. Rudy Giuliani, Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen, Mike Pence, the participants in the Jan. 6 Capitol siege, Kevin McCarthy, and Mitch McConnell are a few examples. Yet, the real horror is how popular Trump remains with millions of Americans despite his blatant corruption, his poisoning of our political discourse and faith in our institutions, and his violent plot to overturn the 2020 election. Listening to Trump supporters, I’m reminded of Science Officer Ash in the movie Alien. Ash is an android secretly protecting a horrific xenomorph as it kills off the crew of the spaceship Nostromo. His goal is to secure the monster for use as a weapon by his corporate masters, and his admiration of it sounds like a Trumper: “I admire its purity. A survivor … unclouded by conscience, remorse or delusions of morality.” Trump is still being hailed by supporters as the conservative say-anything/do-anything battering ram that finally began laying waste to decades of liberal advances in America. Yes, he is now being blamed for costing the GOP the 2020 election and many midterm races in 2022, but some of his most prominent minions recently won (among them J.D. Vance in Ohio, Ron Johnson in Wisconsin, Greg Abbott in Texas, Marco Rubio in Florida, Rand Paul in Kentucky, and Elise Stefanik in New York) or were only narrowly defeated (Kari Lake in Arizona, Mehmet Oz in Pennsylvania, Adam Laxalt in Nevada, Lee Zeldin in New York). Republicans also regained control of the House of Representatives and will be using its considerable power to besiege and torment the Biden Administration. As much as I dread the next two years and beyond, I am finding a measure of gallows humor in the mystification and anger on the right where GOP party members, pundits, former media allies and even members of the MAGA base (particularly evangelicals) have only now discovered that Trump is out for himself and will not listen to counsel for the good of his movement. Like Vecna, his ego is insatiable and will consume anything and anyone to further his own ends and glorification. But we can rest assured that if Trump secures the GOP nomination in 2024, those who are turning on him now will be groveling in his wake and supporting him again. Trump’s speech announcing his 2024 run was, as typical, full of glaring falsehoods, but what really struck me was this ironically ominous statement (italics are mine): "Much criticism is being placed on the fact that the Republican Party should have done better and frankly, much of this blame is correct. But the citizens of our country have not yet realized the full extent and gravity of the pain our nation is going through and the total effect of the suffering is just starting to take hold. They don’t quite feel it yet. But they will very soon.” Sounds like a threat, doesn’t it? All the GOP will be able to do until 2024 is obstruct President Biden and the Democrats and let our nation’s problems fester in a gamble that enough Americans will demand change in the form of Trump’s return to power even if he and his party have no coherent plans other than revenge and empty promises of former glory. Many in the GOP obviously fear that enough Americans will be wise to what Trump is up to, but the party is trapped in a prison of its own making. It can’t win with him and can’t win without his obsessed base full of people who see a blood drinking, cannibalistic, pedophiliac Satanist in every liberal and Democrat. Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis is a bona fide challenger, but he and Trump are likely to be locked in an Alien vs. Predator death match that will be hard to ignore as it further degrades our political climate. Can anyone save the day (and the nation) by finally bringing Trump down with a conviction for tax fraud, election interference or illegally possessing highly classified documents? One thing is for sure: Trump keeps proving that with enough money and political support, he can remain above the law and constantly return in hair-raising sequels. In the words of Science Officer Ash, “You still don't understand what you’re dealing with, do you? The perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility.” John Rolfe is a former senior editor for Sports Illustrated for Kids, a longtime columnist for the Poughkeepsie Journal/USA Today Network, and author of The Goose in the Bathroom: Stirring Tales of Family Life. His school bus drivin’ blog “Hellions, Mayhem and Brake Failure” is parked on his website Celestialchuckle.com (https://celestialchuckle.com) with the meter running.