By Jessie Seigel / Washington, D.C. When I was in law school, my constitutional law professor had the annoying habit of asking us, in any given case studied, what philosophical theory the Supreme Court’s decision was based upon. I found this aggravating, because the decisions were treated as being solely based on high scholarly reasoning. There was never any reference or discussion of the role politics played in those decisions. But I knew that, as early as 1803, Justice John Marshall had used a clever sleight of hand in order to grab for the Court the power to decide what does or does not violate the Constitution. He did so to outmaneuver President Jefferson politically. I also remembered reading the Supreme Court’s cowardly excuses for finding against the Cherokee Nation in the 1830s because it feared that President Jackson would not enforce a pro-Cherokee decision. Politics has always affected the Supreme Court to a degree, both who has been appointed to it, and the nature of its decisions. Nevertheless, the justices tended to keep a respectable distance from politicians, allowing the Court to maintain a facade of high ethical standards. That is, until the most recent set of conservative justices started openly hobnobbing with ultra-conservative politicians and doing the bidding of the right-wing Federalist Society. In his recent book, Allow Me to Retort, a Black Guy’s Guide to the Constitution, Elie Mystal, justice correspondent for The Nation and frequent legal commentator on MSNBC, has set out a bold and sometimes brash antidote to the reactionary justices’ subversion of constitutional interpretation in order to further their regressive goals. Mystal, a graduate of Harvard Law School—who declares, “I hated the practice of law and wanted to get out almost as soon as I got in”—has made a career of analyzing and critiquing the law and the so-called reasoning of those who create it. Mystal begins the book by explaining that his goal is “to expose what the Constitution looks like from the vantage of a person it was designed to ignore.” He goes on to make cogent arguments that the constitutional interpretations conservatives want people to accept are “little more than an intellectual front for continued white male hegemony.” With plainspoken wit and rightful anger, Mystal addresses the ways in which conservative Supreme Court justices and lawmakers turn legal principles inside-out in an effort to take the country back to the period when rich white men enslaved Black people, and women and numerous minorities had no rights. In doing so, he takes many of the positions one would expect of a progressive. He sets those positions out aptly, if bluntly. Unlike other pundits or legal scholars, Mystal does not pull his punches. According to Mystal, people have been made to believe that the law is an “objective thing” when actually it is a body of subjective decisions made over time “to protect people and activities [the courts and white lawmakers] like, and to punish people and activities they don’t like.” He explains how justices are able to manipulate their analyses of cases to get the results they want. Mystal writes, “If I’m a judge and I don’t like the conclusion a test leads me to, I can just create a ‘distinction’ (often without a difference). If your test applies to a burning bush and I don’t like it, I can just call the bush a ‘tree.’” Thus, the current Supreme Court conservatives use such so-called judicial theories as federalism, judicial restraint, originalism, and textualism as smoke screens to hide their result-oriented machinations. But if the Court’s reactionaries want to pretend their legal interpretations are rooted in the original text of the Constitution as understood in the 1700s, Mystal is ready to beat them on their own terms. Mystal punctures the fiction that the right to gun ownership for self-defense was an original purpose of the Second Amendment to the Constitution. He points out that the conservatives had to “read ‘well-regulated militia’ out of the text of that Amendment and substitute self-defense as the ‘original purpose’ of the language.” The self-defense purpose, he writes, is a new one “made up of whole cloth by the gun lobby.” The Fourth Amendment states: “the right of people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated….” Mystal argues that stopping people because they’re Black is an “unreasonable search.” Shooting people because they’re Black is an “unreasonable seizure.” He asserts that the phrase “shall not be violated” should require holding policemen personally liable—including prosecuting them—when they violate these Fourth Amendment principles. Mystal also argues that all confessions are unconstitutional because, under the Fifth Amendment, “no person…shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself…” Even if the police recite to suspects their right to remain silent and to have a lawyer, they currently are still allowed to continue questioning suspects unless they affirmatively ask for a lawyer or “blurt out a statement against their own interest.” That, Mystal contends, amounts to compelling the suspect to be a witness against himself or herself. Mystal passionately declares, “The supposed rights of the unborn hold no moral suasion in a society that is willing to consign children who are born alive to poverty, malnutrition, and toxic air and water.” He proposes that supporters of a woman’s right to abortion should rely on the Thirteenth Amendment’s injunction against slavery, “because the same amendment that prohibited slavery surely prohibits the state from renting out women’s bodies, for free, for nine months, to further its interests. Forced labor is already unconstitutional.” Mystal adds that the fetal personhood laws being proposed in various locales are not about a right to become life but about conservatives wanting the “forced incubation of fetuses by women who are unwilling to perform the work;” that is, involuntary servitude. He adds, “The Thirteenth Amendment flatly prohibits forced labor, and it doesn’t have an exception for labor that white men won’t do themselves but think is really important for others to do for society.” This may seem a creative reading of the Thirteenth Amendment, but is it no more so than the push to give embryos the legal status of the human beings they might ultimately become. Finally, Mystal asserts that Republicans have politicized the nomination and confirmation process to ensure that only advocates of the Republican political agenda get on to the Court. And the largest part of that agenda is the suppression of voting rights, which the current Supreme Court has backed through its evisceration of the Voting Rights Act of 1965. Mystal does not begrudge the Republicans their aggressive tactics. But he argues that “Democrats have been fools not to adopt the same tactics.” Mystal’s Cure for a Reactionary Court Mystal proposes, as the most feasible cure, the expansion of the Court, followed by Congressional passage of term limits for Supreme Court justices. Although Supreme Court Justices cannot, under the Constitution, be forced to retire, they could be required to take senior status and rotated to a lower federal court for the remainder of their lives—with the possibility of being called back if one of the sitting justices needs to recuse himself or herself. The number of Supreme Court justices is not limited by the Constitution and has been changed numerous times during U.S. history for strictly political reasons. Mystal advocates that the Democrats now add 20 liberal justices to the Court, for a total of 29. He chooses the number 29 so that legislation requiring term limits cannot be ruled unconstitutional by the current conservative majority. Mystal thinks that number would also lower the Republican desire for counter-expansion. Finally, this degree of court expansion would diminish the power of each individual Supreme Court justice. Mystal suggests that the 29 justices function in a panel system. A three-judge panel would be chosen at random from available judges to issue a ruling in a particular case. But if the rest of the bench disagreed, a majority of the judges could vote to rehear the case as a full group. Mystal notes that the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals currently has 29 judges whose work proceeds in just this manner. Though some of Mystal’s proposals may, at first blush, seem unusual or extreme, they are no more so than that of the right-wing political actors he opposes, and far more clearly reasoned. Ultimately, he is calling for the Democratic Party to fight as hard for a free and equal society as the Republicans fight against it. The Democrats would do well to heed his advice. Political columnist Jessie Seigel had a long career as a government attorney in which she honed her analytic skills. She has also twice received an Artist’s Fellowship from the Washington, D.C. Commission on the Arts and Humanities for her fiction, and has been a finalist for a number of literary awards. In addition, Seigel is an associate editor at the Potomac Review, a reviewer for The Washington Independent Review of Books, and a dabbler in political cartoons at Daily Kos. Of this balance in her work between the analytic and the imaginative, Seigel jokes, “I guess my right and left brains are well-balanced.” More on and from Seigel can be found at The Adventurous Writer, https://www.jessieseigel.com.

Fred Plotkin, a pleasure activist and passionate Italy and culinary expert, speaks each Friday with leading people in the arts FRED PLOTKIN is one of America’s foremost experts on opera and has distinguished himself in many fields as a writer, speaker, consultant and as a compelling teacher. He is an expert on everything Italian, the person other so-called Italy experts turn to for definitive information.  Fred discovered the concept of "The Renaissance Man" as a small child and has devoted himself to pursuing that ideal as the central role of his life. In a “Public Lives” profile in The New York Times on August 30, 2002, Plotkin was described as "one of those New York word-of-mouth legends, known by the cognoscenti for his renaissance mastery of two seemingly separate disciplines: music and the food of Italy." In the same publication, on May 11, 2006, it was written that "Fred is a New Yorker, but has the soul of an Italian."

By David Perel / Boynton Beach, Fla. After Republicans reclaimed the House of Representatives in the midterm elections, its members gathered around Speaker Kevin McCarthy like preschoolers who had just been asked “Who wants ice cream?” The treat they sought was House committee assignments. In the tradition of Neville Chamberlain, McCarthy made promises to and deals with the most untrustworthy leaders since, well, you know. And that was only to secure the speakership. Then came the prize for every camera-seeking, bombastic representative: the actual committee assignments. In a party where Marjorie Taylor Greene is now considered mainstream, there is havoc to be wreaked upon democracy and McCarthy did a good job of ensuring it with his selections. But here are the committee assignments he should have made, putting people in the jobs for which they have unique attributes. Some of these committees do not exist. But they should. Some representatives have too much expertise in certain areas to ignore. Ethics Committee: George Santos (R-N.Y.) is the perfect choice. Who knows more about ethics than George? Sure, he has continuously been on the wrong side of ethical/not ethical decisions, but doesn’t that contribute to his knowledge and expertise? An aggrieved landlord who owned no properties, a man who wrote checks from a stolen checkbook according to Brazilian authorities, an animal lover who is accused by a Navy veteran of stealing $3,000 from a GoFundMe intended to raise funds for the veteran’s sick dog––this is a man who is more familiar with ethical issues than Ginni Thomas. Simply by recognizing ethical breaches, George can help cover them up, er, solve them. He’s the only person fit for this job. Space Force Committee. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) is the only choice to head this committee. Her knowledge of space lasers, in particular Jewish Space Lasers, is unparalleled. No need to wonder where those wildfires in California came from, she knows the answer: the very busy Rothschild family, at the center of every anti-Semitic trope, made sure that Jews had control of the fire-starting lasers. MTG is certain to help America reclaim the Space Lasers from the Jews and make America a safer place. Hunter Biden Laptop Committee. There is no greater threat to democracy than Hunter Biden. The mastermind of the Biden Crime Family has been extremely busy (between battling addiction issues) at making secret deals for himself and his dad with the Chinese and with a Ukrainian energy company, thereby unduly influencing American foreign policy. In addition, naked photos of Hunter were found on his laptop. And while reports that the laptop also contained photos of naked young ladies have been debunked, there is only one politician qualified to get to the bottom of that: Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.). When the subject matter is naked young women and partying, you won’t find a more diligent investigator than Gaetz (just ask Joel Greenberg). Physical Fitness Committee. This is a natural fit for Jim Jordan (R-Ohio). He’s a former NCAA wrestling champion who became an assistant wrestling coach at Ohio State University. He valued physical fitness above all else and never let distractions get in the way. Multiple wrestlers from his team say they were sexually abused by the team doctor and when they informed Jordan he did not take action. Despite on-the-record accounts of wrestlers recalling they informed Jordan of the abuse, Jordan denies knowing about the doctor’s actions. This proves Gym Jordan is singularly focused on physical fitness and the right man to be committee chair. A special advisor to this committee will be Sen. Josh Hawley (R-Mo.), who after riling up the Jan. 6 crowd was later caught on video sprinting like an Olympic champion as he sought safety from the mob he incited. That type of physical fitness is laudable. Family Values Committee.. Though some dismiss her as a bomb-throwing egomaniacal publicity seeker, Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.) has personal experience with the challenges of family values, a fact that makes her uniquely qualified for this post. In January 2004, when she was single, she was at a bowling alley with Jayson Boebert when he was arrested for exposing himself to two women. He pled guilty to "public indecency and lewd exposure" and served seven days in jail. While this might have been a relationship killer for many women, Lauren married Jayson the following year, after each of them had been arrested on domestic violence charges from two incidents in 2004. In her memoir, Lauren denied that her husband exposed himself, despite eyewitness statements, and claimed he only took the plea deal “because he needed the alcohol and anger management classes that came with the plea deal." For Lauren, and all right-thinking Americans, family values means never having to say you’re sorry – no matter how many eyewitnesses there are. She is an ardent supporter of marriage being between one woman and one man, even if he may or may not have exposed himself in a public setting. Anyone who disagrees is viewing it through an anti-Christian, liberal, snowflake, woke, judgy-judgy lens. Great Replacement Theory Committee. Listen up, White people, End Times are here. Far worse than the end of humanity, the End Times signal the end of White people’s tyranny–strike that–dominance and the rise of people who don’t look like Tucker Carlson (wink, wink, nod, nod). Fortunately, the House is chock-full of nuts, er, Republicans who will prevent this. (Reuters defines the theory as one that fosters the belief that leftist and Jewish elites are engineering the ethnic and cultural replacement of white populations with non-white immigrants, which will lead to a ‘white genocide.’”) Because Jewish elites are involved, Greene must chair this committee. With her work on the Space Force Committee, she will be able to disarm the Jewish lasers, thereby taking away a key weapon. In an effort to derail the Democrats secret plot to bring in illegal immigrants, allow them to vote, and thereby replace the white minority with a non-white majority, some Republicans created a document for a potential America First Caucus, outlining a Great New White America. Under the immigration section they wrote: “America is a nation with a border, and a culture strengthen by a common respect for uniquely Anglo-Saxon political traditions. "History has shown that societal trust and political unity are threatened when foreign citizens are imported en masse into a country.” The document explains that while some factions benefit from this, the reality is that it threatens the “future of America as a unique country with a unique culture and a unique identity.” (For a better understanding, substitute the word “white” for “unique.”) Brian Babin (R-Tex.), Scott Perry (R-Pa.), Matt Gaetz and Lauren Boebert must join Greene on the committee as they have all embraced this theory. (Greene later said she had nothing to do with the incendiary document, blaming it on her staff, who all broke out in laughter. Wait, no, a staff member later apologized, although he may or may not have had a space laser aimed at his head at the time). Boebert, normally known for her subtlety (is there an eyewink emoji? If so, imagine it here), said: “Yes, there is definitely a replacement theory that’s going on right now.” Gaetz said: There is an attempted cultural genocide going on in America right now.” Babin said: “They want to replace the American electorate with a Third World electorate that will be on welfare.” Do not worry, white people––the new House of Representatives is on the job. David Perel is a Pulitzer Prize-nominated investigative journalist. He has worked as a senior executive at several media companies.

By Andy Borowitz January 23, 2023 WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Offering his full-throated support for Representative George Santos, Rudolph Giuliani said that “it’s time for Republicans to pass the torch to a new generation of liars.” “I get why some Republicans are knocking the kid—they’re envious of his raw talent,” Giuliani told Fox News Channel’s Sean Hannity. “But we should be showing him our respect. I mean, look at this kid’s body of work. He could turn out to be the Michael Jordan of lying.” “When I watch him lie, he reminds me of me at his age,” Giuliani said. “Like poetry in motion. But he’s taking his game to a whole new level. The inventiveness, the audacity. Personally, I can’t wait to see what he does next.” “I still like to think that I can lie with the best of them, but I know I’ve lost a step,” he added. “What can I tell you? I had a good run. But now it’s George Santos’s time to shine. Just put him out there and watch the magic happen.” Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.

By Emmy Serviss / Boston Last year, I wrote an article in The Insider about my Fur-ocious Feline Family. I wrote about my mischievous kittens (Annabelle and August), my grumpy old man (Pippin), and my lovebug (Theo). And I wrote about the agreement we had, that they would never ever leave me. But we all know that when we bring pets into our family, we agree to one day having our hearts broken. On December 20th 2022, my heart was broken. I took Theo to the vet in October when he had a day of excessive vomiting, and the doctor said he seemed okay for the most part. But this was not the first time that I’d taken Theo to the vet only to hear that he was “fine” so I wasn’t overly concerned at this point. And for all the non-cat owners, it’s pretty common for cats to eat too fast and then vomit almost immediately afterwards. Pippin and Theo did this often, so I again - wasn’t concerned at first. But during that visit, the doctor also said there MAY be something going on in his stomach, so we did a couple of X-rays to check.  Of course, it was inconclusive, so she said we’d keep an eye on it. But then in November, Theo started acting weird. He was still eating and drinking as usual, but suddenly forgot about litterbox etiquette and would only hang out on the kitchen counter. He didn’t play with the other cats and he didn’t cuddle in my bed. At first I thought he was just being a weirdo, but then I noticed he was losing weight. Like, a lot of weight. And then he moved from hanging out on the kitchen counter to hanging out on the toilet water tank. If I brought him into another room to cuddle, he’d stay with me for a little bit. But then he’d jump down and run immediately back to his spot. He was also the first to run to the food dish to eat so the fact that he was losing weight despite this was really starting to worry me. But he didn’t seem SICK. Just WEIRD. So I didn’t know what to think. Looking back, I think deep down I knew something was wrong.
 But I was in denial, because I wasn’t ready for the reality of the situation.
 To be honest, it still doesn’t feel real. A selection of selfies over the years I took Theo back to the vet and the doctor confirmed quickly that it was the worst case scenario. The inconclusive spot we saw on the X-ray just 8 weeks previously was now an aggressive lymphoma. We could try surgery but at his age and the fact that it grew SO FAST, it wasn’t really an option to me. At this point, I was thinking solely about his quality of life. And in the short time between vet visits, his quality of life had plummeted. The vet tech gave me a helpful and heartbreaking checklist for making the gut-wrenching decision of “How Do You Know It’s Time?” And giving the list a quick glance, the decision was obvious. Theo was eating, but he was losing weight. Theo was alert, but not engaging. He didn’t use the litterbox regularly. He didn’t play with his siblings. He didn’t do anything. He just slept and stared at the wall. I knew what I had to do. But I didn’t want to do it. I wasn’t ready. I can’t remember the last time I’d cried as much as I did that day. We sat in that room for a while. He liked the ergonomic mat on the floor, so we sat there together. I held him and cried and he got to eat some delicious stinky food. We picked out a beautiful but simple urn and then it was time. I wasn’t ready. The doctor and vet tech came in and took him to the back to insert the IV, and I called my boyfriend and sobbed. I had told so many of my friends who had been in this position that it was “the worst best gift to give them.” But now that I was here, it felt like bullshit. I knew it was the right thing to do, but I felt like a monster. They brought Theo back in and placed him on the table, but he jumped back down to the floor. The doctor said, “It’s okay, we can do it down here if that’s what he wants.” Laying on the mat, Theo looked the most comfortable he’d looked in the last eight weeks. I think he knew. I think he was ready. I wasn’t ready. We all sat on the floor and I petted him and cried. The doctor asked if I was ready. I said, “No.” But we both knew it didn’t matter if I was ready. She administered the sedative first and he put his head down on the mat. Then she administered the euthanasia, and he was gone. It was so quick. It was so quiet. It was so peaceful. And something in me broke. I sobbed harder than I’d ever sobbed in my life. I kept saying, “I’m sorry” over and over again. The doctor and tech gave us some privacy and I sat with him for another half an hour. I couldn’t let him go. They finally came back in to check on me and I was able to hand him over. Thankfully, I had already taken care of the expenses, so I could just leave when I was ready. But walking home with an empty cat carrier is a special kind of torture. Coming home and having to face the other cats was just as painful. I curled up on the couch and cried. My boyfriend came over and sat with me, and that helped. But I felt like a piece of my heart was gone forever. I’d lost pets before, but they were family pets, not MY pet. And I’d never been in the room before. It’s one thing to talk about it in hypotheticals, but it’s another actually to go through it. Theo loved his baby brother and sister It’s been almost a month now, and it still hurts. But the hurt gets more manageable with time. I can look at pictures of him without crying immediately. I can tell stories about him and smile at the memory. I can find some peace in knowing that even though I wasn’t ready, I did the right thing for him. Even though the pain of losing Theo feels unbearable at times, it’s a small price to pay for having 13 years of memories with my lovebug. I’ll always remember his goofy chirps when we had “conversations.” His love of drinking out of faucets despite having a full water dish. How sometimes he’d reach out with his paw and touch my face, almost as though he was petting me back. And how many nights I would go to sleep alone, only to wake up with Theo being my small spoon. Theo was my first love. And I’ll love him forever. Until we meet again. Emmy Serviss is a Boston-based writer, actor and video editor. Once it is safe to return to live theater, you can find her performing with ComedySportz Boston and the sketch group SUZZY. When not on the stage, Emmy enjoys indulging in her new pandemic hobbies, laughing way too loudly and counting the days until Halloween.

By Judi Markowitz There is a wise saying by Mahatma Gandhi that the true measure of any society can be found in how it treats its most vulnerable members. It appears that many people have forgotten this important concept— especially while in a parking lot. My daughter, Lindsay, was issued a disability placard for our car when she was just three years old. For decades we have observed some of the most absurd parking behaviors. Driving around a parking lot to find an appropriate space is our usual routine. There are never enough parking places for disabled individuals, and they are generally taken—often illegally. Last week, I witnessed a comedy duo as I was trying to find an unoccupied handicapped parking spot at a local market. Two young and seemingly capable women rode joyfully out of the market on their electric carts. They were attempting to race one another to their car. Maybe they mistook the market for an amusement park and felt entitled to have a thrill ride, minus the long lines. Or possibly they felt entitled. I assumed these women didn’t realize that motorized shopping carts are provided for those who have temporary or permanent physical disabilities and may have difficulty walking through a large retail store. When these two joyriders finally arrived at their destination, the women stood up, secured their packages from the basket, and eased into their car. I could not discern any physical disability from their movements. I had to give them the benefit of the doubt; there was a possibility they both had underlying conditions which made it difficult to stroll through the store. Since their car was backed into the space, I waited to see if they had the proper document hanging from their mirror or on their dashboard. As for that little wheelchair on the license plate—there was none. Strike one. I waited for them to depart, and it seemed like an eternity until they pulled out of the lot. In the interim, I had placed Lindsay in her wheelchair and was about to give up on my super sleuth investigation since it was a cold winter day. And just at that very moment I obtained a clear view of the front of their car—no placard. Strike two. To top off these offenses, their electric carts were left in precarious positions. They were very close to the lines, making it nearly impossible for the next driver to enter the space. An employee would have to drive the carts back into the store before a truly deserving individual could use them. Strike three. Parking lot etiquette is also ignored in the placement of shopping baskets. It appears that some individuals do not want additional exercise. These individuals can’t see clearly to walk to the corrals and return their baskets appropriately. This produces a domino effect. Baskets are then pushed to handicapped spots which makes it virtually impossible for a disabled individual to park. Too many times I have gotten out of my car and taken baskets to the corral — I should have been compensated for my work effort over the years. Let’s just call this behavior what it is: lazy and inconsiderate. Some people have a total lack of disregard for individuals who struggle with physical or mental disabilities. This begs the question—where are the security employees, hired by the stores, who drive around the parking lots? What are they doing—listening to music or talking on their phones? I have yet to observe a warning of any type left on an illegally parked vehicle. I know they can’t issue tickets, but what about an official note to make an impression or possibly help to deter these bad habits from occurring again? In my younger days, when the world was a safer place, I was emboldened to approach drivers who didn’t have a visible placard. I would knock on their window and ask if they realized they were in a handicapped parking place. This raised the ire of those suspected cheaters and people rarely responded in a positive manner. I heard some of the most ludicrous excuses for using these spaces—people felt entitled. Their rationales included “I am only running into the store for a few seconds, I’ll be quick,” “It’s raining, and I don’t have an umbrella, “or “No one is using the space so I thought it would be okay.” But occasionally a sensible driver, who had no legitimate response to my inquiry, would simply move their car to a proper parking place. Sadly, it’s like the Wild West out there now, and some people are reckless enough to pull out a gun and shoot without provocation. A simple inquiry about the legitimacy of their parking practices might set one of them off. After reading about a disgruntled Florida resident questioning the driver of an illegally parked vehicle, then shooting and killing him, sent chills through me. This news story ended my aggressive days of being an advocate in the parking lot. My rage continues, but I have since put on the brakes in questioning offenders. There’s another issue that has come to my attention throughout the years : ticketing practices. I do know from personal experience that I have forgotten to place the placard where it’s visible to the discerning eye. There are times when I have knocked it off the mirror inadvertently and forgotten to replace it after helping my daughter out of the car. I have been ticketed several times for this transgression. In these instances, a legitimate display of the placard at the police department will save the day—the fine is waived, the ticket dismissed, and no court appearance scheduled. But not all police stations are created equal. After inquiring about the fine for illegally parking vehicles in handicapped spots, I discovered that most cities do the right thing — collect a fine for those who park illegally or dismiss the ticket when a legitimate placard is produced. The saying “one bad apple can spoil the bunch” applies to a nearby city that collects a fine of $20, then cancels the offense so there’s no return trip for a court appearance. They are enhancing the city’s coffers at the expense of people who forget or misplace their placards. As of late, some cities are installing more sophisticated parking meters. Last year in Royal Oak, Mich., the city commissioned a company to install parking posts that take a picture of a license plate. When someone parks at an overdue meter or when a driver underestimates their time returning, a ticket is generated and sent to the unsuspecting individual. This is a valuable system, but it would be more useful if it could also check records for the legitimacy of a disability placard, even when it’s not visible. Installing a similar system to view license plates while in a parking lot would yield revenue for the city as well, and at the same time deter those brazen individuals who feel they’re above the law. Pardon my French, but my frustration about these parking lot pricks has not diminished through the years. I’m astounded that people just don’t seem to get the message — stop parking where you don’t belong, take your basket away from the space so it doesn’t impede another driver, and don’t pretend to have a disability! Instead, people should be thankful for their health and that they don’t need to apply for a special parking permit. I’m not asking for the world, just some simple thoughtfulness. Judi Markowitz is a retired high school English teacher of 34 years. She primarily taught 12th grade and had the pleasure of her three sons gracing her classes. In addition, she taught debate, forensics, and Detroit film. Judi has four adult children and seven wonderful grandchildren. She is married to Jeffrey Markowitz, whom she met in high school. Judi grew up in Oak Park, Mich. which had a stellar school district, with excellent teachers. The city provided activities for all–and there were even sidewalks. Judi moved to Huntington Woods as an adult, which is a half mile from her childhood home. She wanted the same experience for her children as she had growing up, and Huntington Woods provided that. The View from Four Foot Two is Judi’s first book.

One film journalist’s stream-of-consciousness cinematic journey through the pandemic, Part 116 By Laurence Lerman / New York City Louisa May Alcott famously said, “Dolls are safe companions.” Clearly, Louisa May Alcott never went to the movies. M3GAN, the latest in a slew of horror movies to feature a doll with murderous intentions, is making a killing at the box office. The nasty plaything has joined the time-honored ranks of such lethal cinematic toys as Chucky of the Child’s Play series and Annabelle of the Conjuring trilogy and her own eponymous cycle of films. Since its wide release to theaters on Jan. 6, during a month that tends to be a slow time of the year at theaters, M3GAN has earned a very strong $61 million at the domestic box office. Internationally, the film has rung up another $35 million from 64 markets, raising its global tally to a sizable and startling $97 million. That’s a killer number for a genre film that cost only $12 million to produce. Strong reviews, enthusiastic audience reaction and a very inclusive PG-13 rating have come together to create the perfect vehicle to draw audiences into the theater to have fun being communally frightened. Or as respected box-office analyst Paul Dergarabedian recently put it in film industry trade paper Variety, “Scary is scary, no matter the month.” Like the legion of deadly doll movies before it, M3GAN (that’s Model 3 Generative Android, or a life-size humanoid robot doll powered by artificial intelligence) centers on a doll becoming the plaything of a child and then developing a self-awareness that leads to a whole lot of hostility toward anyone who comes between her and her human companion. Directed by Gerard Johnstone and produced by horror veterans James Wan and Jason Blum, the film stars Alison Williams, Violet McGraw and New Zealand-born child actress Amie Donald as the AI-infused killer doll, herself. James Cameron’s Avatar: The Way of Water remains in the first place of the current box office, of course, but the fact that little M3GAN has twice finished in second place behind Cameron’s behemoth is simply wild. What’s even more remarkable is that Cameron’s watery off-world epic just crossed the $2 billion global box office mark—and that right behind it is a little horror film, the kind Cameron used to make at the outset of his career in the ‘80s. And how about this? Since its opening, M3GAN has triumphed at the box office over such newly released films as the Tom Hanks sentimental tearjerker A Man Called Otto, the Gerald Butler action thriller Plane, and the reboot of the 1990 comedy House Party. Clearly, the people have spoken and they’re enjoying spending their January with a lethal robotic little girl, just as they have enjoyed dropping in on her chilling brethren over the years. The killer doll subgenre of deadly toy fright films can be traced back to Tod Browning’s The Devil-Doll. In that 1936 creep-out, Lionel Barrymore is an unfairly incarcerated banker who escapes from prison and learns the secret formula for transforming humans into miniature, animated puppets. He then promptly unleashes his army of living “dolls” to exact retribution on the financiers who have wronged him. The Devil Doll, the penultimate film by the great Browning, director of the landmark Dracula (1931) and Freaks (1932), remains a genuinely bizarre and unsettling melodrama. Much of this is due to the filmmaker’s crafty camerawork and the outstanding special effects utilized to depict the movie’s malevolent playthings. By the ‘60s, a smattering of Twilight Zone episodes had also embedded themselves into audience’s psyches, led by the classic “Living Doll” in 1963. That segment follows Telly Savalas as a frustrated, seemingly infertile man named Erich who takes his frustrations out on his new stepdaughter, Christie, much to the growing anger of her new wind-up doll, Talky Tina. When the chatty toy begins using such phrases as “I hate you” and “I’m going to kill you,” it’s clear that that situation has moved into dangerous territory. “Living Doll,” one of the finest installments from The Twilight Zone’s final season, is still a nasty little goodie. It features a character named Annabelle, who is Christie’s mother. Her moniker clearly provided the inspiration for Annabelle in the Conjuring and Annabelle franchises. The late ‘70s marked the beginning of a killer doll phalanx marching onto screens large and small, beginning with poor Karen Black being terrorized in her apartment by a knife-wielding, sharp-toothed Native Zuni fetish doll in a story in the 1975 TV movie triptych Trilogy of Terror, directed by Dan Curtis. Over-the-top hand-to-doll action and furious camerawork elevated this one to instant cult classic status, and Karen Black found herself still talking about the film when she attended horror and sci-fi conventions decades later. This was followed by Richard Attenborough’s Magic (1979), a small-scale psychological horror piece by the soon-to-be-Oscar-winning director of 1982’s Gandhi. It deals with a mentally disturbed ventriloquist (Anthony Hopkins) dealing with his foul-mouthed and scary-looking dummy Fats, who threatens to reveal the ventriloquist’s problems to those around him. There was more to come in the ‘80s, with the rise of the straight-to-video market and the arrival of such cable-ready smashes as Screamtime (1983), The Devil’s Gift (1984) and cult filmmaker Stuart Gordon’s underappreciated Dolls (1987). The appearance of a demonic clown doll in the Spielberg-produced smash Poltergeist (1982) injected a shot of respectability and legitimacy into the trend, and helped set the stage for the arrival of the infamous Chucky in 1988’s Child’s Play. Child’s Play concerned an on-the-run serial killer who performs a voodoo ritual that transfers his soul into a “Good Guy”-branded talking doll named Chucky—who then turns into, well, a “Bad Guy” voiced by Brad Dourif. It proved to be the launching pad for a major horror franchise that now includes six sequels (including one where Chucky hooks up with a bride doll named Tiffany, voiced by Jennifer Tilly), a television series, a remake, comic books, a video game and a profusion of tie-in merchandise. Though the later incarnations of Child’s Play have mostly played as darkly humorous satirical slashers (that’s also largely the case with the Annabelle franchise of the 2010s), the original film clicks as a clever and effective horror outing. One particularly horrific scene finds Chucky using a voodoo doll to snap the limbs of his former dark arts instructor like twigs. Thirty-four years later, it still freaks me out. Though nothing official has been announced, there’s buzz from the Child’s Play and Annabelle series producers that their beloved artificial progeny will return to wreak more havoc on the innocent—and audiences!—down the line. Meanwhile, it looks like M3GAN is getting quite comfortable with her newfound stardom. On Jan. 12, her wardrobe was the subject of a New York Times style piece. And five days later, it was announced that the little mechanical murderess will be starring in a sequel that’s already been scheduled to premiere in theaters on January 17, 2025. The working title is M3GAN 2.0 and we think that's just fine–as long as the delightfully demonic doll is okay with it, that is... Laurence Lerman is a film journalist, former editor of Video Business--Variety's DVD trade publication--and husband to The Insider's own Gwen Cooper. Over the course of his career he has conducted one-on-one interviews with just about every major director working today, including Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino, Clint Eastwood, Kathryn Bigelow, Ridley Scott, Walter Hill, Spike Lee, and Werner Herzog, among numerous others. Once James Cameron specifically requested an interview with Laurence by name, which his wife still likes to brag about. Most recently, he is the co-founder and editor-in-chief of the online review site DiscDish.com.

By Lydia Hope Wilen / New York City Take a guess--a rough guess--as to how many words there are in the English language. No peeking at the dictionary. Oh, you no longer have a dictionary? If you guessed ‘one million words,’ you’d be correct, right, error-free, accurate, word-perfect, flawless…No wonder there are about one million words in our versatile language. The average U.S.-born adult has a vocabulary of 20,000 to 40,000 words, depending on his or her reading and educational level. Okay, let’s take the average of the average, 30,000 words, and deduct them from 1,000,000. That leaves us with 970,000 words not used and possibly not known. Here’s your chance to reduce that number by adding to the thousands you already know and use. I. There’s a Word for That “People with an impoverished vocabulary live an impoverished life; people with rich vocabularies, have a multi-hued palette of colors with which to paint their experience, not only for others, but for themselves as well.” –Tony Robbins, motivational speaker How many times have you seen the space between your eyebrows? Probably daily throughout your entire life. Know what that space is called? It’s your glabella. Due to the use of Botox in that facial area, glabella may be more familiar now than in the past. And it may be why no one will ’fess up to knowing it. Journalist Sylvia Wright coined a word in a 1954 Harper’s essay, explaining that when she was a child, this line from a poem often read to her, “And laid him on the green” was misheard and repeated by her as: “And Lady Mondegreen.” Since Wright’s essay, a misheard lyric or poetic line is known as a mondegreen. We used mondegreens before knowing there was a word for them. Vintage examples: Remember Nat King Cole’s hit song, “They tried to tell us we’re too young”? We used to sing, “They tried to sell us egg foo young.” Think back to, “I’m wild again, beguiled again, a simpering, whimpering child again. Bewitched, bothered and bewildered.” We sang, “I’m wild again, beguiled again, I’m having a fatherless child again. Unhitched, bothered and bewildered." In WWI, "It's a long way to Tipperary" was a popular marching song My father used to sing: "It's a long way to tickle Mary.” Today, kids may think Santa has a reindeer named “Olive” as in “Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.” “Cry Me a River” has been heard as “Crimean River.” What would a mondegreen be without a Bob Dylan song? “These ants are my friends, they’re blowin’ in the wind” instead of “The answer my friend is blowin’ in the wind.” II. Wordplay “You can’t build up a vocabulary, if you never meet any new words.” Rudolf Flesch, author of Why Johnny Can’t Read You probably know that an anagram has you rearranging a word into another word. Example: angel to glean. Here’s the new word: antigram, An antigram has you taking a word or phrase and rearranging it to mean the opposite of the original word. Examples: santa to satan, united to untied, earliest to arise late, evangelist to evil’s agent. Paraprosdokian is from the Greek meaning, “against expectations” and is a sentence or statement with an unexpected ending. Examples: I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind. Comedian Emo Phillips: “I’ll always remember my grandfather’s last words: ‘A truck!’” Actress Zsa Zsa Gabor: “He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce, I keep the house.” Writer Stephen King: I have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a glass jar on my desk. President George H.W. Bush: “People say I’m indecisive, but I don’t know about that.” Writer Dorothy Parker: “He’s a writer for the ages…for the ages of four to eight.” Writer Peter De Vries: “Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.” III. Words Foreign Wide “We don’t just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.” –Booker T. Washington, American Educator Ah, mes amies, a minaudiere is a woman’s fashion accessory, all the rage in the 1930s. It was used in place of an evening bag and could hold several items—a lipstick, keys, compact, comb--in a small space. In case you have one, now you’ll know what it’s called if-and-when you want to list it on Etsy or eBay. Many of our often-used words are borrowed from Greek, French or Latin. This word, however, is from the Japanese: tsundoku. It’s the act of buying books and never reading them. (Doku means reading, and tsun means to pile up.) Finish reading this article and then get to one of those tsun books on your shelf. There are two German words for which there are no English equivalents. As a result, they’ve been adopted by us. Sadly, one of the two has become popular. It’s schadenfreude, which means (now it’s your turn to act dismayed by its meaning) enjoyment derived from the misfortune of others. It’s nasty human nature. The other word that is sure to gain popularity here, is schlimmbesserung. It means making something worse while trying to make it better. In today’s world, that happens a lot. Ask my computer. Ask my FILL IN THE BLANK with just about any electronic device. “Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic.” –J.K. Rowling’s character Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows. I hope you enjoyed this making magic session. Lydia Hope Wilen had a successful collaboration with her late sister Joany as nonfiction bestselling authors (18 books), journalists, TV personalities, writers and talent coordinators on a Nickelodeon series hosted by Leonard Nimoy, Reading Rainbow episodes, skit writers for Dr. Ruth's TV show, Diet America Challenge on CBS, and writers of screenplays (optioned but not produced yet). Lydia is writing on her own now and has just completed an extraordinary book for young people and their parents. It will have them laughing and learning...once she gets an agent and it gets published.

By Bonnie Fishman / San Francisco Bay Area The Bee Gees had it all going on in their 1977 No. 1 hit song. Little did they know this title would someday be a theme song for the entire pandemic. We are now living in a time of coughing, sneezing, whooping, and aching. Take your pick: Covid-19, RSV, boring old influenza (without a name), colds, and myriad viruses (also nameless). Every night on the news, you hear how overcrowded the emergency rooms and urgent care clinics are. You hear the statistics of how prevalent a given ailment is in your home state. You watch the national map as a variant began in the colder climates and starts spreading across the country. You’re a sitting duck. You’ve been vaccinated up the wazoo with every possible inoculation offered. You keep score with your friends and neighbors. “Have you had your fifth Covid shot yet?” But no matter how protected you are with all of the vaccines, wearing N-95 masks, and staying out of crowds, you are doomed! I’ve been doomed more times than I care to count. As far as I know, I haven’t had Covid or RSV. But these unknown pesky viruses are having their way with me. It seems I get the virus du jour every six weeks. I might have a reprieve of three weeks without coughing, but then I ramp up again as the A-ilment train comes into my station. It gets old after a while. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful that I haven’t been really sick or hospitalized like many. Nonetheless, it’s still depressing not getting a good night’s sleep or doing my regular activities like swimming. Now let’s discuss my biggest pet peeve about getting a virus. I will blame all of this behavior on the Covid epidemic. Before one enters a clinic or hospital, you get your temperature taken, handed a mask, and get the inquisition about your recent health and exposure to others. Makes sense. New disease, new protocol. Out of a professional reluctance to see people who may have been exposed to Covid, Telehealth became necessary and wildly popular. You, the patient, basically do your own exam. Take your temperature? Check. Take your pulse-oxygen level? Check. Take your blood pressure? Check. Look in the mirror for spots on your tongue? Check. Soon they’re going to ask us to buy a stethoscope to listen to our own chests. (Note to self: make sure you have purchased the proper equipment from the drug store before engaging in a Telehealth call). Here is the clinker of all clinkers. I know many of you can relate. When I was sick last month, I had sent a message to my primary care doctor’s office that I needed an appointment. I clearly wrote in the office portal that I did NOT have Covid, RSV, strep, a fever or aches and pains (I had been to an urgent care facility a few days earlier). Ten minutes later, a nice office gal calls me back and says “You can’t come HERE. You’re sick.” “Well, HELLO, I AM sick and that’s why I want to see a doctor!” She proceeds, “We don’t see sick people here”. Oy vey. Then she cheerily asks “Would you like a Telehealth appointment?” No effing way, lady. I want someone else to examine me besides me. Last comment: “Well, we prescribe drugs if you want.” It amazes me that even though I’m masked, I managed to get colds. The cold and virus bugs have been paying me a visit inside my home, where I haven’t worn a mask. The many visitors staying with us over the past few months, besides hostess gifts, have brought germs. Thank you very much. It still amazes me that many people don’t bother masking anymore when they’re out and about. I’m hopeful that the mask is keeping Covid away at the very least. I shouldn’t say this out loud because I don’t want to jinx myself, but I’ve been enjoying a stretch of wellness now and I intend to keep it that way! Let’s talk about chicken soup as cure for a cold. Myth or fact? If you ask a number of people, you’ll get various answers. Some say the combination of the bone broth and carbohydrates give the body what it needs when ailing. When I’m sick, I don’t have much of an appetite, but I do perk up for a bowl of chicken soup. Maybe it’s just a grandmother’s tale that we’ve adopted. I don’t care if it’s true or not, it works for me! Today, I’m offering a riff on the traditional bowl of chicken noodle soup. I’ve turned to another culture for a soup that I think is just as soothing–Greek Lemon Rice Soup. Most people have been introduced to this soup at their local Greek restaurant. I have often found those soups to be overly thickened (you can stand a spoon up in them!) and gluey. My recipe is made with real chicken and lots of lemony flavor. The vitamin C from the lemons can’t be all bad, either. I offer a suggestion of various herbs if you want to change it up a bit. Tell us here at The Insider what foods you eat when you’re down with a cold or virus. And let’s hope for better health for the rest of winter! Greek Lemon Rice Soup Yield: 6 servings 2 Tbsp. olive oil 1 c. finely diced onions 1 c. finely diced celery 2 garlic cloves, minced 2 qt. chicken stock 2 bay leaves 1 tsp. salt 12 oz. raw skinless, boneless chicken breasts 1 c. Arborio or short grain rice 2 lg. eggs 1/2 c. fresh lemon juice 3 Tbsp. fresh parsley, dill, or oregano In a 5-6 qt. stock pot, sauté the onions, celery, and garlic in the oil over moderately low heat until the vegetables are translucent but not browned. Add the bay leaves and chicken. Pour on stock. Bring to a boil; turn down to a light boil. Continue to cook until the chicken is just cooked through, about 15 minutes. Using tongs, remove the chicken to a plate; reserve. Add the rice to the pot. Bring to a moderate boil. Cook until the rice is tender, about 20 minutes. In a small bowl, scramble the eggs. Whisk in the lemon juice. Ladle one scoop of hot soup into the bowl, whisking as you go. Add another ladleful. This must be done slowly as to temper the eggs, otherwise you will have scrambled eggs in your soup. Ladle in one more scoop. Slowly stir the egg mixture into the soup. Turn heat down to low. Shred up the chicken and return to the pot. Cook for one more minute. Adjust the seasoning with salt and pepper. Blend in the herb of your choice reserving some for garnish. Bonnie Fishman attended the Cordon Bleu Cookery School in London. Later, she owned and operated Bonnie’s Patisserie in Southfield, Mich. and Bonnie’s Kitchen and Catering in Bloomfield Hills, Mich. She has taught cooking for over 35 years and created hundreds of recipes. She is now living in Northern California.

By John Rolfe / Red Hook, N.Y. Now that the pandemic has flooded the job market with openings and left employers scrambling to fill them, we’ve been told by cranks and churls that no one wants to work anymore. In case you haven’t heard, many people merely got a chance to stop and think about what they were doing and whether it was worth their time and effort. Some took a break before going back or moving on to something new. When it comes to dragging our carcasses out of bed in the morning, most of us simply want to do work that makes us feel glad to be doing it while we receive at least a living wage. Interestingly, the Washington Post’s Department of Data reviewed the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics’ American Time Use Survey this month and found what a majority of people say are the most rewarding jobs. Believe it or not, these gigs are in agriculture, and in logging and forestry, which have the highest levels of self-reported happiness—and lowest levels of self-reported stress—of any categories of major industry. Go figure. I marvel at farmers, especially the ones who own small independent operations. They work from before sunup to after sundown every day while battling Mother Nature’s capricious ways and the domineering greed of corporate agricultural conglomerates. By most accounts, these little guys and gals are lucky to break even. But it seems the pleasure is all theirs. The same with loggers. Felling, cutting and transporting timber is highly perilous (if you want a vivid description of the dangers and ghastly injuries, read John Irving’s novel Last Night in Twisted River), but working in the outdoors apparently cures a multitude of wounds. Dana Chandler, co-owner of Family Tree Forestry in South Carolina, told the Washington Post, “Even on your worst day—something has broken down and you need to get wood to the mill—the wind’ll blow and you’ll inhale a familiar scent — that pine sap — and it’ll just take you to a place of peace instantly. It’s therapy. The woods is therapy, the forest is therapy. You can have the worst day ever but when you get out here? The forest just takes it all away.” Second on the Happy List was another surprise: real estate, rental and leasing. I know people who manage rental properties and it’s a wonder they have a tuft of hair left on their heads because they are forever tearing it out, thanks to deadbeat tenants who trash apartments and homes while refusing to leave and defying eviction attempts. The rest of the Top 10 are, in order: construction; management, administrative and waste; information; health and social assistance; arts, entertainment and recreation; transportation and warehousing; wholesale; and retail. I am currently employed in transportation as a school bus driver, a job I never, ever dreamed I’d do until I was out of work for a year and needed a gig, any gig. Let’s just say I can see why there’s a national shortage of folks who are willing to take the wheel of a big yellow madhouse. I’ve been chronicling my daily trials and misadventures in my blog Hellions, Mayhem & Brake Failure (an apt description of the job, if I do say so myself) and this line of work is most certainly not for the faint of heart. But it helps to have a sense of humor and I’m blessed in that the more aggravating my job is, the better (I hope) my blog becomes. Nevertheless, there are school bus drivers who have been at it for many years and love it, despite having to constantly deal with incorrigible urchins, unreasonable parents, demanding bosses, and unsupportive school administrators. That’s not to mention traffic hazards, potential legal liabilities, and huge responsibilities for the safety of other people’s kids. But many drivers quit because of the stress and low pay — typically about $20 an hour, though that has been changing for the better as districts and private companies try to entice more people to take the, um, plunge. Rising wages have a way of alleviating manpower shortages, no matter what the field happens to be. Speaking of stress, the jobs with the highest frazzle factors according to the study are, for the most part, well-paying: legal (lawyers rank #1); finance and insurance; and education. Stress and rewards are where you find them, of course, and one can certainly offset the other. I spent 33 years in professional sports journalism where the thrill of covering major events and stories I felt passionate about more than offset the demands of daily deadlines, unpredictable hours, and the long costly commutes to my office in New York City as well as the battles with editors and rude, uncooperative athletes. I hardly got rich doing it, but I love to write, so it meant the world to me that I was able to make a living at it. I am now enjoying the variety and slower pace of my life. I spend more time puttering at home, get a long break in the middle of my workday (between trips hauling surly middle-schoolers), and my time alone in the bus while driving through beautiful Hudson Valley countryside is one of the best perks. When my precious cargo acts up and the steam jets out of my ears, I can fully understand the allure of grabbing a chain saw and heading for a stand of pines. That Post article made me realize that nature does indeed soothe the spirit. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics surveys, being outdoors ranks second, behind a house of worship, among the happiest places to be. (A bus rolls in at #15.) But no matter what you do and where you do it, the meaning you find in your job will be your greatest reward and the biggest reason why, contrary to what the cranks say, people do still want to work. John Rolfe is a former senior editor for Sports Illustrated for Kids, a longtime columnist for the Poughkeepsie Journal/USA Today Network, and author of The Goose in the Bathroom: Stirring Tales of Family Life. His school bus drivin’ blog “Hellions, Mayhem and Brake Failure” is parked on his website Celestialchuckle.com (https://celestialchuckle.com) with the meter running.

Jeffrey D. Sachs | January 18, 2023 | The Economist The American economist writes as part of a series debating the wisdom of peace negotiations Neither Russia nor Ukraine is likely to achieve a decisive military victory in their ongoing war: both sides have considerable room for deadly escalation. Ukraine and its Western allies have little chance of ousting Russia from Crimea and the Donbas region, while Russia has little chance of forcing Ukraine to surrender. As Joe Biden noted in October, the spiral of escalation marks the first direct threat of “nuclear Armageddon” since the Cuban missile crisis 60 years ago. The rest of the world also suffers alongside, though not on the scale of the battlefield. Europe is probably in recession. Developing economies struggle with rising hunger and poverty. American armsmakers and big oil firms reap windfalls, even as the overall American economy worsens. The world endures heightened uncertainty, disrupted supply chains and dire risks of nuclear escalation. Each side might opt for continued war in the belief that it has a decisive military advantage over its foe. At least one of the parties would be mistaken in such a view, and probably both. A war of attrition will devastate both sides. Yet the conflict could proceed for another reason: that neither side sees the possibility of an enforceable peace agreement. Ukrainian leaders believe that Russia would use any pause in fighting to rearm. Russian leaders believes that NATO would use any pause in fighting to expand Ukraine’s arsenal. They choose to fight now, rather than face a stronger foe later. The challenge is to find a way to make a peace agreement acceptable, credible and enforceable. I believe that the case for a negotiated peace needs to be more broadly heard, first to spare Ukraine from becoming a perpetual battleground, and more generally, as beneficial for both sides and the rest of the world. A strong argument can be made for involving neutral countries to help enforce a peace settlement that would benefit many. A credible agreement would first need to meet the core security interests of both parties. As John F. Kennedy wisely said on the path to the successful Partial Nuclear Test Ban Treaty with the Soviet Union in 1963, “even the most hostile nations can be relied upon to accept and keep those treaty obligations, and only those treaty obligations, which are in their own interest.” In a peace agreement, Ukraine would need to be assured of its sovereignty and security, while NATO would need to promise not to enlarge eastward. (Although NATO describes itself as a defensive alliance, Russia certainly feels otherwise and firmly resists NATO enlargement.) Some compromises would need to be found regarding Crimea and the Donbas region, perhaps freezing and de-militarising those conflicts for a period of time. A settlement will also be more sustainable if it includes the phased elimination of sanctions on Russia and an agreement by both Russia and the West to contribute to the rebuilding of war-torn areas. Success may well hinge on who is included in trying to find and enforce peace. Since the belligerents themselves cannot forge such a peace alone, a key structural solution lies in bringing additional parties to the agreement. Neutral nations including Argentina, Brazil, China, India, Indonesia and South Africa have repeatedly called for a negotiated end to the conflict. They could help to enforce any agreement that is reached. These countries are neither Russia-haters nor Ukraine-haters. They neither want Russia to conquer Ukraine, nor the West to expand NATO eastward, which many see as a dangerous provocation not only to Russia but perhaps to other countries as well. Their opposition to NATO enlargement has sharpened as American hardliners have urged the alliance to take on China. Neutral countries were taken aback by the participation of Asia-Pacific leaders of Japan, South Korea, Australia and New Zealand in a summit last year of supposedly “North Atlantic” countries. The peacemaking role of major neutral countries could be decisive. Russia’s economy and war-making capacity depend on continued strong diplomatic relations and international trade with these neutral countries. When the West imposed economic sanctions on Russia, major emerging economies, such as India, did not follow suit. They did not want to choose sides and have maintained strong relations with Russia. These neutral countries are major players in the global economy. According to the IMF's estimates of GDP at purchasing-power parity, the combined output of Argentina, Brazil, China, India, Indonesia and South Africa ($51.7 trn, or almost 32% of world output) in 2022 was larger than that of the G7 nations, America, Britain, Canada, France, Germany, Italy and Japan. The emerging economies are also crucial to global economic governance and will hold the G20 presidency for four years in a row, as well as leadership positions in major regional bodies. Neither Russia nor Ukraine wants to squander relations with these countries, making them important potential guarantors of peace. Moreover, many of these countries will seek to burnish their diplomatic credentials by helping to negotiate peace. Several, including of course Brazil and India, are long-time aspirants for permanent seats on the UN Security Council. The possible architecture of a peace deal could be an agreement co-guaranteed by the UN Security Council with several of the major emerging economies. In addition to the countries mentioned above, other credible co-guarantors include Turkey (which has skillfully mediated Russia-Ukraine talks); Austria, which is proud of its enduring neutrality; and Hungary, which holds this year’s presidency of the UN General Assembly and has repeatedly called for negotiations to end the war. The UN Security Council and the co-guarantors would impose UN-agreed trade and financial measures against any party that breaches the peace agreement. The implementation of such measures would not be subject to veto by the breaching party. Russia and Ukraine would have to trust the fair play of the neutral countries to secure peace and their respective security goals. It makes no sense for the fighting to continue in Ukraine. Neither side is likely to win a war that is currently devastating Ukraine, imposing massive costs in lives and lucre on Russia, and causing global harm. Major neutral countries, in conjunction with the UN, can be the co-guarantors to begin a new era of peace and rebuilding. The world should not allow the two sides to continue a reckless spiral of escalation. https://www.economist.com/by-invitation/2023/01/18/jeffrey-sachs-on-why-neutral-countries-should-mediate-between-russia-and-ukraine

By Lydia Hope Wilen / New York City Womanpower at Manpower Long before my sister Joany and I worked together as collaborators on (mostly) writing and performing projects, I made the rounds as an actress, worked as an important-people’s assistant and wrote game show material. Joany worked for Manpower, Inc., the world’s largest temporary help service. She was quickly promoted from dispatcher to recruiting and training director, and then to sales manager of the many New York area offices. Need a temporary job? Call Joany. So what if she wasn’t in the office most of the time? So what if it was long before cellphones? Joany would get a message and you would get a job. Clearly, it was good to know Joany. Elmer Winter, founder and president of Manpower, knew Joany, having met this standout at several corporate meetings, and they became friends. One day, Uncle Elmer (as he referred to himself) called Joany and asked her for a favor. It had to do with his bright and hard-working assistant, Ron Franzmeier. Ron, at the time, was taking care of his double-amputee mother, in addition to his full-time, very responsible job. One day, Uncle Elmer asked Ron if he was having any fun. Ron answered, “What’s fun?” That did it…the phone call to Joany. Uncle Elmer wanted to send Ron to New York, place him in Joany’s care, pay for everything, just so that Ron could know what fun is. Fun for Joany was having Elmer Winter agree to pay for everything. It was a glorious thing that Uncle Elmer was doing for Ron…if only Ron had thought so. He was so frightened about leaving his mom (even though Uncle Elmer was providing a temp for her care) and about traveling to—of all places—New York City. Did I say “frightened”? “Petrified” was more like it. For a full two weeks before he was due to board a Northwest airplane taking him to the big bad city, Ron spoke to Joany and/or me on a daily basis. We Wilen sisters spent hours assuring him that he would be safe in our city. No matter what we said, Ron was convinced he would be mugged in an elevator. Rather reluctantly, Ron came to town. Uncle Elmer was paying? Joany booked a room for Ron at the Plaza Hotel. We met him in the lobby and, within seconds of checking in, Ron began his romance with New York City. The three of us went for breakfast at the Plaza’s Palm Court. Seated there was Mayor John Lindsay (this was the early 1970s). We said, “Oh yes, Ron, the Mayor is here to welcome all newcomers to the city.” Coming from Milwaukee and zipping himself in his car to get from place to place, this walking business in New York was a novelty that he loved. He was able to sightsee and people watch as we went to museums, the theater, ethnic restaurants, the Empire State Building, the United Nations and Central Park. Ron was having fun. The funnest part for us was the day we took him shopping. Uncle Elmer made arrangements with the posh Madison Avenue men’s clothier, Paul Stuart, for Ron to get a business suit. One business suit? Not nearly enough, according to Joany. After a Paul Stuart suit, Joany took Ron to the Garment District. It was on a Sunday, when you could go from floor to floor in several buildings and find manufacturing companies open for business. You could get first quality clothes at wholesale prices if you paid cash. The first place Ron went, the man in charge took one look at him and the way he was dressed, and said, “You’re from out of town, right?” Then he jokingly said, “Put jam on your shoes and invite your pants down for tea.” This guy was crude, but he called it like it was. Within a couple of hours, Ron had a fine-fitting wardrobe…suits, shirts and ties and at a fraction of retail prices. We prepared a list of which shirts and ties went with each suit. The day ended with Ron at a shoe store where he selected a smart, rich-looking pair of boots. Boots! When he tried them on, he stood up straight, and walked around the store as though he owned it. Those boots made a huge difference in the way he carried himself…and they were his choice. He discovered his inner Nancy Sinatra. The day Ron was leaving for the airport, he checked out of his room at the Plaza while we were waiting for him in the lobby. He met us by saying, “It happened…the mugging in the elevator.” We panicked. “When? Are you okay? What happened?” He calmly reported, “It happened in this hotel, on my way down, I mugged two ladies.” Ron learned how to have fun and make fun. When he went back to work, he was a man with newfound confidence and a clothing sense. On his first day back in the office, he called Joany and whispered to her, “Mr. S (Manpower’s VP) should put jam on his shoes and invite his pants down for tea.” New York City became Ron’s home-away-from-home and we three became best friends. Ron left Manpower in the late 1970s and in 1980 went to work for the Red Cross Blood Center of Wisconsin. He became a sought-after international speaker on behalf of the Blood Center. The last time he was in New York, was in October 1990. We talked about how far he had come since that very first time he left home. We both marveled at his plane mileage and about all his accomplishments and great contributions. Sadly, Ron passed away in 1991 at age 46. He was so well respected that numerous awards were established in his honor and memory by The Blood Center: The Ron Franzmeier Lifetime Achievement Award, Ron Franzmeier Award for Extraordinary Volunteer Service, The Franzmeier Leadership Award. What are the chances of changing someone’s life in a week…bringing out the real him? From hick to slick, from a prude to a dude, from drip to hip. It happened and it also happened that we bonded for the rest of his productive and inspiring life. Not So Super Supervisors One of Joany’s Manpower clients was the Guaranteed Extermination Company on Utica Avenue in East Flatbush, Brooklyn. Annette Weinstein, the office manager, needed an assistant bookkeeper on a temporary basis. My mother was an assistant bookkeeper and lived within walking distance of Annette’s place. It was a perfect Manpower match-up. That is, until a few days after my mother started working at that pest control company, Joany got an hysterical call from Mom, “There’s a roach crawling under my desk and I’m afraid to put my feet down. What should I do?” Joany advised her to somehow manage to put her feet down and leave. While Joany was looking for a replacement and smoothing things over with Annette, she found out that Annette had a son in college who could use temporary jobs on weekends. What are the chances that an insurance company needed clerical workers for a Saturday when the building was otherwise closed? Joany saw to it that the staff filled the openings with three dozen people. Annette’s son Bob Weinstein and yours truly were the designated supervisors in charge of those 36 workers. Bob and I met for the first time at the site. We worked well together, taking attendance, seating the minions, and giving them their workload. The Company saw to it that the cafeteria stayed open and staffed so that everyone could have lunch. Lunchtime came and we had the workers taking the four elevators down three floors to the cafeteria. When it was time to go back to work, Bob and I both agreed that the supervisors shouldn’t pile in with the rest of the peons. No! Let them crowd into the elevators. We’ll walk up the three flights. We went into the stairwell and the door closed behind us. When we reached the floor we needed, Bob, gentleman that he was, reached for the door in order to hold it open for me. The only problem was, the door didn’t open. It was locked. What to do? We went back down the three flights to the cafeteria floor, but that door also locked when we closed it. We went back up three flights and started pounding on the door and yelling for help. “Open the door to the stairs.” “Can anyone hear us?” “Is anyone there?” Bob was a Spanish major in college and thought there may be someone who understood Spanish, and so he yelled, “Ayuda! Abra la puerta! Estamas en la estamas en escalera. Hay alquien que puede oirnos?” Finally, after about 10 minutes (that seemed like 10 years), one of the workers, on his way to the men’s room, thought he heard sounds coming from the stairwell and he opened the door. There were his two supervisors, sweating up a storm, practically in tears and trying to act cool. Once the workday was over and everyone signed out, Bob and I wanted to go out for a drink. Wouldn’t you know, neither of us imbibe, so we made up for it by having lunch the following weekend. That was decades ago and we’ve been close friends ever since. As Michelle Ventor said, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” I ask, what are the chances that you’ll meet a person in the oddest way and they’ll become your friend for a lifetime? My answer, judging by experience, the chances are quite good. I also ask, who is Michelle Ventor? If you have a “What Are The Chances...? story you would like to share, I’d love to know about it. Email it to me at editor@theinsider1.com. Don’t be shy! Lydia Hope Wilen had a successful collaboration with her late sister Joany as nonfiction bestselling authors (18 books), journalists, TV personalities, writers and talent coordinators on a Nickelodeon series hosted by Leonard Nimoy, Reading Rainbow episodes, skit writers for Dr. Ruth's TV show, Diet America Challenge on CBS, and writers of screenplays (optioned but not produced yet). Lydia is writing on her own now and has just completed an extraordinary book for young people and their parents. It will have them laughing and learning...once she gets an agent and it gets published.