By Madeline Barry
"KAMALA!"
Randy Rainbow’s new video is dedicated to none other than Democratic Vice-Presidential nominee Kamala Harris. Sung to the upbeat tune of “Camelot,” the sketch begins with a clip of Joe Biden announcing Kamala’s nomination. Rainbow, dressed as a knight and with his back to the camera, watches diligently. He turns to face us, a large smile gracing his rosy-cheeked face and he begins to sing exurberantly. His enthusiasm for Harris’s nomination is evident. It’s clear he feels confident that she has what it takes to “help make Trump’s first term his last hurrah.” Along the way, he pokes fun at current Vice-President Mike Pence, exclaiming “And in his pants Mike Pence just made a pee pee/ he’s scared a her!” and addresses those who “push crazy racist birther theories.” Rainbow praises Harris for going after now-Justice Brett Kavanaugh at his confirmation hearings and her ability to incite tears among grown men. And just in case you need a reminder on how not to pronounce her name? Rainbow’s got you covered. “And don’t you dare pronounce her name Kah-MAH-Lah!”
“A SPOONFUL OF CLOROX”
Sung to the tune of “Spoonful of Sugar” from Mary Poppins, this Rainbow short begins with a shot of Rainbow in a plum-colored suit, declaring, “Every product ‘neath your sink might be a medicine to drink,” a obvious dig at Dr. Trump’s suggestion that Americans ingest hydroxychloroquine in order to defeat coronavirus. Rainbow sings his heart out, passionately belting, “Just a spoonful of Clorox makes your temperature go down.” He advises viewers to put “Pledge on your pancakes,” “bleach in your beer,” and “a flashlight up your ass,” among other unique home remedies.
At one point, Rainbow dons a Mary Poppins style “Jolly Holiday” hat, complete with a below-the-chin scarf. “Since it’s improbable you’ll win/ with your hydroxychloroquine/ splash some Windex in your wine and you’ll resolve.” At the end of the video, Rainbow pours Tide into a water glass and chugs it. The music speeds up and a disturbing image of feet tagged in a body bag appears on the screen followed by a flashing warning that you should not actually drink cleaning products. Trump’s voice declares, “Maybe ya can, maybe ya can’t, I’m not a doctor,” but Randy has the last word, ending the video with a sarcastic “You’re kidding!”.
“COVER YOUR FREAKIN' FACE!”
In classic Randy Rainbow fashion, “Cover Your Freakin’ Face!” begins with real footage from a presidential press conference. The hint that you're about to dive into a Randy Rainbow video? The bottom of the screen, which reads: “PRES SLOBBERS THROUGH PRESS CONF WITHOUT MASK.” As Trump drones on, Rainbow appears in his familiar guise as a reporter (once again, classic Randy Rainbow). “GURL!” he shouts at the President. “Mr. President, COVID cases continue to rise around the country. You said in your last stand-up special that you had asked your people to slow down testing in order to make the numbers look better, which by the way is f--king brilliant. You’re also not requiring people to wear masks at your rallies.”
Rainbow pauses and thinks for a second before continuing, “which doesn’t matter, nobody goes to those anyway, but don't you think you should be following CDC guidelines and leading by example?” Rainbow proceeds to show Trump a few mask samples, hoping that one might pique the President’s interest. These include the standard pale blue triple-layered disposable mask that is all the rage these days, a pink cartoonish-looking mask, and finally, a giant Hillary Clinton head. Gotcha, Trump.
Rainbow is as clever as ever in the video. He compares Trump to the virus, “You’re siding with the virus, cuz you’re a virus too,” and praises the one and only Nancy Pelosi for her stylish face coverings.
"DISTRACTION!"
Once again, we are at a press conference and Rainbow is playing the role of a comically gifted and concerned reporter. Rainbow wastes no time. He opens with a hilariously snarky statement, “We are back, Mr. President, I want to thank you for respecting recommended CDC guidelines and wearing a mask” (pause). “Oh! That's just your face!” Rainbow sings to the tune of “Tradition” from Fiddler on the Roof and dresses the part, at one point transforming himself into a Hasidic Jew donning payos and a black hat. He calls out Trump on his recent “Twitter tantrums,”which Rainbow believes are meant to distract from the global crisis at hand. “Obamagate” is mentioned a few times, accompanied by snippets of Trump’s interviews in which he slanders his favorite targets, these being the former President and Nancy Pelosi.
Rainbow cleverly rhymes ‘distraction’ with synonyms meant to capture the essence of Trump’s interviews and policy. He sings, “Deception, inaction, confusion, digression, delusion, obsession, RECESSION!”
"GEE, ANTHONY FAUCI!"
An homage to the nation’s top infectious disease expert, this video opens with Rainbow in a Zoom appointment with Dr. Anthony Fauci. Randy worriedly expresses his feelings to the famed specialist: “I know you’re not a shrink, I just didn’t know who else to go to. I mean my country is a mess, I’m not even talking to it right now, I haven’t had a haircut in like 5 months, I mean I know i still look great, thank you, but I just feel there’s no leadership. And ugh.. The president is even attacking you. Can’t you stop him?” Fauci is silent, but stoic.
Cue the tune of “Officer Krupke” from West Side Story. Rainbow croons, “Dear darling Dr. Fauci, we know you’re smart as hell, you’re certainly no slouch-i, Ya made it through Cornell, you’ve fought some bad infections, but now you’ve hit a wall, with the worst infection of them all”. Rainbow goes on to call Fauci’s raspy voice “sexy” an acknowledges Fauci’s heroic mission to keep the people of the United States alive amidst chaos.
Rainbow then splices himself into an interview with Trump, who accuses Fauci of making mistakes. Rainbow wears a pale pink blazer and his signature pink cat’s eye glasses. He calls Trump “satanic” and declares that Trump only tries to save his “big fat ass.”” Ahh, the refreshing honesty of Rainbow’s humor!
Other incidents Rainbow brings up include Goya-gate, as well as Kayleigh McEnany’s press conference regarding reopening schools, in which she announces, “The science should not stand in the way of this.” Rainbow responds by calling her a “dipstick” and asks if she has “been eating lipstick”. Rainbow compares Trump’s team to wind-up toys, and brilliantly coins the name “Cruella” DeVos.
"ANDY!"
Andrew Cuomo is the object of affection of YouTuber Rainbow in another playful parody video. “ANDY!,” sung to the tune of the Grease song “Sandy,” is a gubernatorial love song. This time, instead of watching John Travolta sulk at the drive-in movie theater, we see Rainbow grace the screen in a variety of fun 1950’s themed costumes. He sings adoringly to Governor Cuomo, “Oh Andy, baby, someday, when COVID’s not a thing/ If we’re on Earth, for what it’s worth, I hope they make you King/ You run my state/ While I gain weight/ With grace and dignity/ Oh please, be my dad/ Oh Andy!, Rainbow teasingly reveals that he is now a “Cuomosexual.” It’s worth mentioning that Andrew isn’t the only Cuomo that Randy appreciates: brother Chris Cuomo, concedes Rainbow, is still his “first love.”:
Madeline Barry is a high school English teacher at Northside Charter High School in North Williamsburg, Brooklyn. She teaches three sections of senior English and two introductory Latin classes. Figuring out virtual learning, listening to music, and writing for The Insider has kept her semi-sane during the quarantine.