Marty’s Ultimate Party

By Judi Markowitz / Huntington Woods, Mich.

What were the chances? Beth, Marty, Al and Rhonda (from left)

Many members of the Oak Park High School Class of ’70 know Marty Gaynor as the impresario of their reunions and gatherings. They might be surprised to learn that Marty is still celebrating an astonishing personal reunion of his own.

In 2019, Marty and his wife Beth received a gift in the mail from their son Danny, who at that time lived in Phoenix, Ariz. His parents share birthdays In August, and Danny thought the present would be a hit. It was packed in a neat, small box from 23andMe, a genetic testing company that provides ancestry reports. The contents promised to deliver information about their roots.

The directions required that a saliva sample be returned for analysis. It seemed quite simple. Marty and Beth were appreciative of such a unique gift, but the 23andMe kit was shelved for a few months.

Taking a deep dive into the past can be exhilarating and frightening at the same time. Marty says, “I don’t know why we hesitated so long to use it, but when our son Jason, the second oldest of our four boys, came for a visit in December, he motivated Beth and me to take the test. Surprisingly, we received the results quickly —January 2020.”

Marty recalls that when he looked over the document that arrived from 23andMe it was shocking. It said that he shared the same DNA as a man who was six years his senior and lived in Fort Worth, Texas — his name was Al Faigin.

Being a retired Detroit police officer for 31 years and then later a private investigator, Marty says, “I took the information with a grain of salt. I knew I had to look into this matter more closely.”

Marty then called his two brothers to fill them in about the possibility of there having  been another sibling. Their sister Marcia, Marty’s twin, passed away in 2007 from leukemia. Having another brother seemed an unlikely notion.

The day after receiving the DNA results, Marty messaged Al Faigin through the 23andMe App. However, he did not hear back from Al until May. Marty waited another four months to finally talk to this stranger and piece together their past.

When they finally connected, Al told Marty that he was not tech savvy and didn’t give the results much weight. In time, Al’s daughter prodded her father to reach out, and the conversation began about the prospect of having a parent in common.

Forever friends: Al and Steve (from left)

After their first conversation Marty remarked, “It wasn’t difficult to realize that Al was a genuinely nice person.” Al filled Marty in with details about his own early years in Detroit.

Al told Marty that he was adopted at birth to a couple who couldn’t have children. Jewish Family Services made all the arrangements. Al, an Eagle Scout, had grown up to be quite an athlete: as a teenager, he played basketball, football and hockey. After graduating from Cooley High School in 1964, Al went on to play football at Wayne State University— he was a lineman. His next step was to attend medical school in Kansas City. Al became a family practitioner. Marty was blown away by Al’s accomplishments.

Marty was also struck by some of Al’s memories. ” Al told me that he played basketball at the JCC (Jewish Community Center) on Meyers Road in Detroit with a friend of his— Steve Fishman. I played there as well. Who knows, maybe we crossed paths.” Then Al mentioned working as a counselor at Camp Michigama during summer vacations. Al’s friend Steve was at the camp during summer vacations as well.

“I’m now a believer in the saying that there are six degrees of separation between people. As it turns out, my high school classmate, Bonnie Fishman, is a first cousin to Steve. Bonnie’s father and Steve’s father, who were brothers. owned the camp together. When I asked Bonnie if she remembered Al, she gave a resounding ‘yes,’ and added that he was one of the nicest guys.”

Coincidentally, Al also knew family friends of Marty’s. Fellow Oak Parker, Rita Forbes, was also a camp counselor at Michigama and her husband, Howard Golding, knew Al from the sports world. The connections made both Al and Marty more curious.

After sharing pleasant and informative conversations, Al and Marty decided to take the next step. They wanted to ensure that the test from 23andMe was correct. So, they decided to use a certified lab to compare their DNA for a more conclusive outcome. Test kits were sent to both men, and the results were definitive — a 99.52% likelihood that Al and Marty had the same mother.

In the interim, Marty had contacted his uncle Mort, his mother’s brother, who was 89 at the time. Mort lived in Texas and was the only relative alive who could possibly corroborate this wild turn of events. However, when Marty told him about the test results, Mort said he had absolutely nothing to say about the situation.

A family affair: Marty, Beth, Uncle Mort, Rhonda and Al (from left)

However, the next day Marty received an unexpected call — Uncle Mort wanted to talk. The pieces started to fall into place. Says Marty, “My uncle told me that he was 14 in 1946 when my mother, Ruth Newman, became pregnant by her boyfriend with Al. Mort said that she was 20 years old and went to California for the delivery. But Al’s birth certificate was from Detroit. I was perplexed.”

“Uncle Mort recalled that Al’s father came to the house for a family meeting with my grandparents, mother and siblings. The couple spoke of marriage instead of giving Al up for adoption. Mort said that Al’s father was open to either solution. But knowing my grandfather, I have serious reservations that he would have agreed to my mother marrying someone who was not Jewish– Al’s father was Christian.”

Finally, the story was coming together. Marty and Al decided that a meetup would be in order. Al and his wife Rhonda flew to Michigan in the summer of 2021. Marty and Beth organized a barbeque for Al so that he could spend time with family and old friends from his childhood.

“Over time,’ says Marty, “Al and I became very comfortable with each other and shared information on a regular basis. Al was happy to finally have a blood relative and to learn about his birth mother. The reunion was nothing short of great. And, coincidentally, he had my mother’s hair — a full head of wavy, thick grey hair. I was not that lucky.”

The four brothers: Ken, Marty, Steve and Al (from left)

The DNA kit certainly proved to be an invaluable birthday gift. Marty’s family graciously welcomed Al into the fold. Marty now has three brothers thanks to 23andMe. Uncle Mort has another relative close by to visit and share a holiday meal.

And as for their mother’s secret? Some things just remain a mystery.

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Judi Markowitz is a retired high school English teacher of 34 years. She primarily taught twelth grade and had the pleasure of having her three sons grace her classes. In addition, she taught debate, forensics, and Detroit film. Judi has four adult children and nine wonderful and energetic grandchildren. She is married to Jeffrey Markowitz, whom she met in high school. They now spend much of their time running around with their grandkids. The View from Four Foot Two is Judi’s first book.