By Andy Borowitz | The New Yorker
May 5, 2023
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Capping several quarters of robust profit growth, Ginni Thomas has announced that she will be listed on the New York Stock Exchange.
Investors are expected to snap up shares in Thomas, who is believed to be the first spouse of a Supreme Court Justice also to be a major corporation.
Harland Dorrinson, an analyst with Morgan Stanley, rated Thomas as a “strong buy,” telling CNBC, “I’m urging institutional investors to get out of the banking sector and into Ginni. Unlike the banks, Ginni doesn’t have to disclose where her revenue comes from.”
He said that Mrs. Thomas’s listing on the N.Y.S.E. was a “cause for celebration” for all investors. “Billionaires have been buying and selling Ginni Thomas for years,” he said. “This will make it possible for smaller investors to get in on the action.”